


Deep Blue

by ghoulshuu



Series: Deep Blue [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Gore, M/M, Mermaid Kaneki, Smut, To be edited before sequel, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 64,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2486171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulshuu/pseuds/ghoulshuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide was always fascinated with mermaids, though he never met one himself. From what he knew, they were horrendous, terrifying, man-eating monsters. So then what happens when he meets a certain dark haired 'monster'? Will a friendship develop, or perhaps, something more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting

The hot sun beat down on the cool ocean. There, on a large black rock situated off the coast of a deep blue lagoon, a man with dark hair and shiny silver eyes watched the clouds as they trailed across the sky. He wondered what it would feel like to fly, instead of always swimming in the dark.

He ran his hand through his damp hair and watched a small ship sail past, unaware of his presence there. For that he was thankful. He lost his last hiding spot when a fishing crew spotted him. He had to escape, they would have told the Doves. If he didn't flee then, he would have never of been able to.

He was used to moving around. He never really stayed in one place for too long. It was only a matter of time before he had to leave this place too.

It was a shame, the lagoon was beautiful. Colourful flowers surrounded the edges, followed by a thick forest. The water was deep and various fish swam in it. He liked their company. He was always rather lonely, and isolated from his kind.

The sun began to set and he shivered. The night was going to be a cold one.

He slipped off the rock and returned to the salt water. He dove down, his scaly, silver tail splashing the water before disappearing completely.

...

A certain blonde haired man walked with a bouncing step in the port of a nearby city. This was odd, since he had just lost his job. He had nearly no money and was hungry as hell, yet he smiled at every single person he saw.

The city folk did not smile back. He knew why. This city had a tragic story. It was the home of widows and orphaned children. The city was located on a small island. The people relied on sea food for both profit and food. While there were many farms created in the attempt to grow food on land, the soil was not rich enough to produce anything substantial. Thus, fishing continued, despite the danger. There were monsters that lurked under the surface of the water. These monsters devoured fishermen. They had immense raw power, enough to break a hole in the hull of a ship and cause it to sink.

So why, you may ask, was this sunny, young man so happy to be in such a horrendous place?

You see, he loved mermaids. He was fascinated with them. That's right, the very creatures many people desperately tried to avoid, he sought out.

Not that he had ever seen one. He had only read about them in books. Reading about them and seeing the crudely drawn pictures was not enough for him. He wanted to know more.

...

The sun had set and the moon was out. A single, armored ship floated noiselessly, rolling off the calm waves. Lurking underneath the calm water was a dangerous creature.

A vicious glare was on her face. It was framed by dark blue hair, only made darker by the water.

She swam until she was underneath the ship. She scanned the bottom, checking for any weaknesses she could manipulate.

There. A piece of the metal was oxidized where some of its protective layer had been scrapped off. She drew away from the ship. Once she was a considerable distance away she charged back at the ship, picking up speed with furious kicks from her tail. Once she had enough momentum she plowed her fist into the bottom of the ship, tearing a small hole.

It wasn't good enough. She needed something better, something like that wasn't going to sink the ship before it could get back to port. She headed back, she needed to get another good hit in, before they noticed her presence there.

She was about to shoot forward again when something forced her backwards in the water. Her black eyes turned to the right, her red pupils focused on her shoulder. Blood tainted the water around her. With a snarl she wrenched the trident from her shoulder and dropped it into the depths of the water.

She was itching to lunge forward again, to tear everyone on that ship apart for what they had done.

She was dragged back even farther by a hand grasping at her wrist. A man with golden brown hair was scowling at her. She glanced back to ship and he shook his head, dragging her away.

She watched as the ship disappeared from their sight. At that point they resurfaced from the water.

"Damn it, Nishio!" She clenched her teeth in anger. "Why did you have to get in my way!?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I wasn't getting in your way, I was saving your life, idiot. Did you really think you could take on a whole ship of Doves by yourself?"

She adverted her gaze and looked into the water.

"Touka. Let's go. Hinami is probably worried." Nishio disappeared in the water.

Touka let out a sigh before following him.

...

The unemployed man walked along a city street, humming to himself. He bumped into a strange looking man, almost losing his balance.

"Sorry, sorry." He cried in apology at the same time as the other man.

He blinked and grinned at the strange white-haired guy before carrying on his way.

Once the other man walked away, he ducked into a dark alley and pulled out the coin purse he had just pick pocketed. He shook it. It seemed really, really light. He dumped its contents, only coming up with a few small coins and a needle and a strange type of red string.

He sighed in defeat. But, put together with what little money he had it would be enough to buy something for supper. I reached into his pocket to pull out his cash… and… came up with nothing.

"Huh?" He patted his pockets, sure he didn't put it anywhere else. That meant… that guy.

He wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it. They pick pocketed each other. But laughing was not going to get him any food that night.

He decided to head out of the city and trek along the coast. Maybe he could find some fruit to eat. He was not going to ever eat another mushroom he found on the ground. The last time that happened he had a rather unusual experience.

Maybe, if he was lucky, he would spot a mermaid! He crowed at the idea and practically skipped out of the city.

...

The sun was rising and the young man was out on his rock, enjoying it while the weather was good. His stomach growled and he patted it lightly. It was a while since the last storm, but that was fine, they were due for another one soon.

He leaned back and closed his eyes. It was cold last night. His shivers kept him awake. Maybe he could catch a little sleep…?

...

A man emerged from the forest along the edge of the cove. He groaned and dropped to his knees. He had been walking all night and found nothing to eat. How could nothing but thick trees and few flowers grow on this island?

He was hungry, tired and cold. His clothes were not quite thick enough to battle the crisp of the night. He curled his hands in the sun-warmed sand and sighed. Maybe he would just stay like that for a little.

His stomach growled and he clutched it as it lurched. Shit. He had to find food.

He pulled himself to his feet. He looked around to see where he was and stopped suddenly, all food forgotten.

...

The dark haired man blinked his eyes open slowly, so far unaware of what, or rather who, was waking him up. He squinted against the light of the sun to see a figure in his vision.

A face with a large grin loomed into sight. "Good morning!"

His eyes widened and he let out a yelp before flipping over and falling into the water with a splash, dragging the blonde haired man with him.

The dark haired man easily resurfaced, trying to comprehend what had just happened. To his left he saw splashing and hands reaching out of the water as a man desperately tried to keep himself afloat. The dark haired man swam over to him, grasping him around the chest, and dragged him up onto the rock. He looked down at him as the man coughed, puzzled by his behavior.

"Good morning." He murmured back.

The other man grinned in response before going into another round of coughing. The dark haired man, uncertain as what to actually do, awkwardly patted him on the back.

The blonde haired man continued smiling at him. The dark haired man began to feel uncomfortable. He didn't like being stared at.

"…Um…" He blushed and rubbed the back of his head, giving a small smile.

"Ah!" The blonde man yelled and grabbed his shoulders.

He jumped in surprise and almost let out another yelp.

"Hide! My name is Hide!" Hide looked at him expectantly.

"K-Kaneki." Kaneki gently tried to pry Hide's hands off his shoulders, trying not to be too harsh. Humans were fragile, were they not?

He did not succeed. Hide had a death grip on him.

"Haha." Kaneki had a strange look on his face.

Hide laughed earnestly, seeming elated.

"Say, Hide?"

"Yes, Kaneki?" The idiot was still grinning.

"Would you mind taking your hands off of me?" Kaneki asked kindly, his fake smile still on his face.

Hide gasped and apologised before shuffling back a couple feet and crossing his legs underneath him. He was rocking back and forth.

To Kaneki, it seemed Hide had a few screws loose. Maybe he did too, sticking around for this long. Actually most of his kind would have, except they would have eaten the man already.

"Right then. I'm going to go now." Kaneki began to slide off into the water, wondering where his next spot to bathe in the sun would be.

"No! Wait!" Hide lurched after him and would have fallen into the water if Kaneki didn't grab him by the back of his shirt. For a guy who couldn't swim, he sure did act dangerously around the water.

Kaneki set him back down on the rock and fixed him with a serious look. "Wait for what?"

"Ah… umm…" Hide's stomach growled and he blinked, his face going blank.

Kaneki frowned and turned, disappearing into the water. He swam until he found a group of fish. Grabbing a large one just below the head, he killed it, and swam back to the surface.

Hide was sitting where he was before, his head hanging low. He looked surprised when a freshly killed fish appeared in him lap, and even more surprise when he saw Kaneki at the edge of the rock watching him.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

Hide nodded vigorously and placed the fish on the rock before jumping up. "Yeah! But, I need to cook it first!"

Kaneki crossed his arms on the rock and placed his chin over them. "That's right. Humans cook their food."

Hide nodded again and then looked towards the forest sadly. "I need to gather some firewood first though." He set his eyes back on Kaneki. "Please… don't leave."

Kaneki pressed his lips together and nodded. Hide ran towards the forest, casting a skeptical look back in Kaneki's direction.


	2. Friends

Kaneki watched Hide as he scampered back and forth, hurrying into the forest, and coming back with wood. Each time he came back his eyes scanned the water for Kaneki and a grin broke across his face each time he realized he hadn't moved.

Kaneki's tail was swishing around in the water, impatient. How long did it take to gather wood? Either way, Hide was never gone long enough to go to the city, so it wasn't like he was telling someone where Kaneki was. But, if he took too long, the fish was going to get gross.

Kaneki splashed water on it, making sure it wouldn't dry up in the sun.

Another armful of wood was placed down on the rock. Hide was rubbing his hands together.

"Alright." He muttered and picked up some of the smaller branches, propping them against each other so they formed a cone shape.

Kaneki dragged himself up further up the rock, curious about the elaborate structure. He watched closely as Hide lit a match and carefully set a patch of dry grass of fire at the base of the structure. He began adding more grass and small twigs, tending to it diligently. Eventually, the fire kept going on its own and Hide added larger pieces of wood.

Kaneki kept splashing the fish with water, a little annoyed at how long Hide was taking. He heard a small click sound and turned his attention back to Hide. He leaned to one side, trying to see what Hide was doing.

When he saw Hide brandished a pocketknife, he jerked back, a quiet, distraught sound escaping him.

Hide jumped. Seeing Kaneki's expression, he brought his hands up, seeing Kaneki's eyes follow the knife in his hand. He dropped it immediately, laughing nervously.

"What were you doing – with that?" Kaneki asked suspiciously.

"I – uh…" Hide seemed to be struggling to say the right words. Instead, under Kaneki's heavy gaze, he reached behind him, grabbing the stick he was sharpening to a point. "For cooking the fish…"

Kaneki's cheeks reddened as he understood. Still, wary of the spear, he sunk back into the water, only the top half of his head peeking out. Hide slowly picked up the knife and finished his handy work.

Hide was about to put it back in his pocket, when he thought better of it. He sent a small smile Kaneki's way before tossing it back to the beach were it landed softly in the sand. Next, he impaled the fish and raised it over the fire. He readjusted himself until he was comfortable, never falling to look at Kaneki every minute or so.

To him, the fish smelt delicious. He couldn't wait to dig in. However, Kaneki was almost grateful for having an excuse to have his nose underwater, the smell nauseated him.

Once the fish was cooked enough he pulled it out and began blowing on it, trying to cool it down as quick as possible. Kaneki wistfully observed Hide as he ate, wishing that he could be sustained by such a meal.

As soon as Hide tossed the spear by his knife, Kaneki crept back beside him. He lifted his hands to the fire, enjoying the warmth. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Hide taking off his clothes and laying them next to the flame, drying them from his fall into the water, leaving only his boxers. Kaneki didn't mind, his kind were used to nudity.

The silence between the two didn't last long. Not unnoticed by Kaneki, Hide kept restlessly glancing around, more often than not, at Kaneki.

He sighed, "What?"

Hide scrunched his face up. "I want to ask…"

"Ask what?"

Hide appeared to be thinking hard. "Hmmmm. Ah! No – ummm."

"Hide." It looked like his head was going to explode. "Just ask your question."

He twiddled his thumbs. "Are the others like… you?"

"I don't know. That's a rather broad question."

"Kaneki!" Hide cried, "Don't tease me!"

"I'm not." He had a rather serious expression on his face.

"Well, I – this is the first time I met someone like you, so I wouldn't know… but, would others talk to me, the way you are?"

"No." Kaneki's answer was immediate and cold. "If it were anyone else, you would have been dead. Idiot." He scrutinized Hide. How the hell was someone like him surviving in this world?

"Then," Hide leaned down uncomfortably close to his face. "It must have been fate that we met!"

Kaneki backed away, not appreciating the intrusion into his personal space. "No, you're lucky. That's all."

"Fate." Hide insisted.

Kaneki scowled. "Luck."

Hide shook his head. "Fate."

Kaneki sighed and gave in. "Fine."

Hide let out a victorious yell and pumped his arms in the air, causing Kaneki to let out another sigh and roll his eyes. Hide was really an idiot.

Hide's voice was quieter when asking his next question. "Hey, Kaneki? You don't get along much with your kind, do you?"

Kaneki froze. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, you're all here by yourself, and – from what I read – mermaids usually keep in groups – though I suppose you're a merman. And you didn't kill me, like you said others would. And – " Hide turned his attention to the calm water. "You look really lonely."

Kaneki frowned and didn't answer.

"Hey! Kaneki!" Hide's hands were at his shoulders again, shaking him.

"W-what?"

"I have a great idea!" Hide beamed.

Kaneki's frown deepened. He was a little concerned about any of Hide's plans given his spontaneous nature.

"Let's be friends!"

"Huh?" This was a really, really bad idea. "What do you mean by that?"

"Ka-ne-ki… it means we – I don't know – hang out. And help each other out and stuff."

"And stuff?"

"Yeah, and stuff."

Kaneki was wary of what this other 'stuff' was, but he reluctantly agreed.

"Great! What should we do first? Ummm – oh!" Hide grinned. "Why don't you teach me how to swim?"

Well that was probably one of the few good ideas Hide had. "Yeah, sure. I guess."

Hide was ridiculously excited, shouting, "Yippee!" and jumping immediately in the water, forcing Kaneki to rush over to keep him afloat.

Kaneki brought Hide up as he coughed. "How about you just work on floating first. You sink like a hunk of metal."

"Like this?" Hide rolled onto his back and Kaneki nodded, his hands supporting his back.

Every once in a while Kaneki would let go. It would only take Hide a few seconds before he began to sink, however, the more he trained, the longer he was able to stay with his head above the water.

"I think that's enough for today." He looked up at the sky. Had they really been training for that long?

"Aww… come on, I was just getting the hang of it." Hide looked devastated as he crawled back onto the rock with Kaneki's assistance.

Kaneki pinched the bridge of his nose. "You can try again tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Hide clapped his hands together. "Is there something you want to learn, Kaneki?"

He considered the question. "To read."

Hide looked curious. "Why?"

"I-I like stories, because," he rubbed his chin with his left hand. "I get bored."

"…I see." Hide was watching him closely. "Okay! I'll bring a book, next time!" He began to head off back into the woods, before stopping. "…what way is the city?"

Kaneki pointed off to Hide's left. He watched Hide leave, a little sadder than he wanted to admit. He hadn't had a conversation with someone for a long time and he supposed, Hide wasn't that bad, as far as friends went. Not that he would really know, since he never had one before.

...

Touka was worried about how much she upset Hinami. She cursed herself for doing something so stupid and not asking her her feelings before acting. The kid had enough to deal with after losing her mother to the Doves, she did not need to have to worry about Touka and her stupid actions.

She clutched at her arm which was almost healed and her stomach growled. Healing required a lot of energy.

"Touka." Nishio swam up to her and she glared, not wanting his patronizing.

"What?" She snapped.

He looked annoyed with her. "There was another jumper recently. You might want to go eat before she rots or the tide carries her away. Bring some back for us too."

"Hmph." Touka dove back underwater, resurfacing when she was outside again. Behind her was a solid rock wall. There was no way to tell by looking at it, but just under the surface there was an underwater entrance to a cave which Nishio, Hinami and she lived. Every once in a while, some of their allies - that being a rather lose term - came to visit.

Off a small distance, there was a hanging cliff. Underneath was a shallow part of the water where many rocks, sharp and jagged, protruded. This was where they got their food. People from the city, for whatever reason they may have had, jumped from the cliff, purposely ending their lives.

Touka prodded the fresh body and happily devoured parts of it, thankful that it would accelerate her healing. Then, maybe Hinami wouldn't notice she got injured.

The victim was fairly young. She wondered briefly what kind of life she may have had and what caused her to commit suicide. But those thoughts didn't last long, hunger quickly taking over.

When she ate her fill she cleaned up the body a bit, before dragging it back to the cave.

...

Hide was back at the lagoon the next morning. With him, he carried a large backpack. He rubbed the back of his head, exhausted. He hadn't slept much the previous night, No, it wasn't because of excitement, though he was excited.

He had a very different reason. He needed money. Sure, pick pocketing was one of his many skills, and it did come in handy when he had no money at all. But, there was something he was far better at. That something was poker. It came naturally for him. It was always easy to tell if someone was bluffing. Everyone had their own tells.

He almost never lost a game.

He shrugged his backpack filled with his hard-earned supplies off and dropped it in the sand.

Where exactly was Kaneki? Hide felt a slight panic rise in his chest before he forced it down. Did he leave? Maybe he had been a little too aggressive and scared him away?

Hide walked down to the shore barefoot. He scanned the mirror-like water but saw no familiar head or dull, sad eyes. He cursed. He screwed up. He had one chance and he fucked it up.

He stepped forward into the water and felt a sharp pain shoot up through his leg. He scowled at the rocks and crouched down, picking up a flat one. He threw it level to the water and watched it skip five times before disappearing. He threw another. And another.

After he threw the next one, he heard a whispered obscenity and saw a splash in the water as Kaneki dove down, the rock Hide threw sailing over his head.

Hide's hand twitched under Kaneki's glower. "G-good morning."

"Hmm." Kaneki returned to his usual position on the rock and yawned. He closed his eyes.

Suddenly, Hide was right there, shaking him. "Don't go back to sleep!"

Kaneki groaned. What was with this boy and shaking him? He peeped one eye open, Hide's bright face filling his vision, and he closed it again. "Five minutes. I swear, I won't sleep." He wouldn't. He didn't like the idea of sleeping while someone else was there. They could so easily kill him…

"Kaneki!" Hide complained.

He sighed and propped himself up. There was no way he would get peace and quiet with that guy around. "Okay, okay."

Hide grinned his signature grin, discarding his clothes and promptly jumped in the water, followed by a very tired Kaneki.


	3. Storm

"What are you doing?" Kaneki watched Hide from the corner of his eye.

Hide stated simply, "Sleepover." He dug into his backpack and pulled out a sleeping bag. He laid it down on the sand and nodded to himself before pulling some salted, dried beef out of his pack to munch on.

"Hide." He glanced over at Kaneki's voice, mouth full. "Explain."

He made a few incomprehensible sounds before swallowing and trying again. "Sleepover. It's what it sounds like. I'm sleeping here tonight – Hey! Don't make that face!"

Kaneki hung his head, knowing he couldn't win an argument with Hide. He looked at where Hide was setting up for the night and sighed.

"If you sleep there the tide will get you."

Hide rubbed his chin and looked further towards the forest, at Kaneki, and then at the rock. "It's decided then!"

Kaneki was confused. "What's decided?"

Hide threw the sleeping bag up on the rock and Kaneki supressed a groan. "There. Now we can talk."

"About what?" Kaneki leaned back, watching the stars as they appeared.

Hide was silent for a few minutes, then whispered, "What does it look like when you swim in the ocean?"

"It really depends where you are." He looked at Hide's sincere face.

"Tell me. About all of it."

Kaneki bit his lip, deciding where to start. "I really like being near the surface. There, the sunlight still shines through the water and you can see the things around you. There are fish which swim in schools and some that are really bright in colour." Hide nodded encouragingly. "The sunlight glints of their scales. It's hard to explain, but it's really pretty. It's much nicer than the usual dull tones underwater. You get a lot of that the further down you go… and then nothing. It gets really dark. You can't see anything, so you have to use your other senses to see." Kaneki looked uncomfortable. "I don't like the dark."

Hide hummed in consideration. "Tell me about some of the places you've been – your favorite."

"When I was… younger… I lived in a place a lot like this one. It had flowers along the edge too." Kaneki smiled fondly at the memory. "The water there was bluer… actually everything was more vibrant… or is that just my imagination, maybe… It was really peaceful. I can still remember how the birds sounded every morning when I woke up and how my mo – have you ever imagined what it would be like to fly?"

The rapid change of subject did not escape Hide's attention, but he let it go. He stuck his arms out to the side and grinned, making a flapping motion. "Who hasn't?"

Kaneki smiled in response.

"Isn't there something you're curious about, Kaneki?"

"Like what?"

"Like…" Hide seemed to be struggling. "Like… like."

Kaneki sighed. "Just talk about what ever interests you – but not," Kaneki caught Hide's excited expression. "Mermaids."

His expression dimmed a little as he pondered what he would talk about.

"I love going to different places." He smiled. "Nature in particular is enticing… but, I'm rather fond of architecture as well. Hey, do you know what a city looks like?"

Kaneki shook his head, motioning for Hide to continue.

"Well, there are all these really tall buildings, mostly made of wood or stone… or both actually. Like, seriously! They go way up! There are lots of floors and levels all stacked up on top of each other." Hide stuck his hands out to the side, before turning ninety degrees and doing the same motion, forming a square. "Then on the walls there are glass windows where light shines through so it doesn't get too dark. Outside, there are streets which people walk on to get from one place to the other. It gets really busy sometimes! I really like watching people as they go along! If you watch closely you can tell what kind of day they had or what they're feeling. It's really amazing how all of those people, each living their own lives come together in one place. They all have their own story, their own personality. It's fun to imagine what their life must be like, based on how they're walking, how they are dressed and what their expression looks like!" Hide rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, I kind of went off on a tangent there."

"Huh?" Kaneki looked slightly dazed. "Oh, yeah."

"Kaneki" Hide drew his name out, looking hurt. "Are you even listening?"

Kaneki nodded and waited for Hide to continue. In truth, he wasn't paying too much attention. To Hide's words that is, what kept grabbing his eyes was Hide's face. Kaneki had never seen someone be so expressive when talking. Despite trying to listen to what Hide was saying, he always found himself staring at his face and the various exaggerated expressions he was making. Kaneki wondered what kind of life Hide lived.

Suddenly, hands were shaking him. It was Hide, of course. "Kaneki!"

He mumbled, trying to draw as much information out of his memory as he could. "Could you tell me more about – um – the forest on the island here? You said it was strange. Why?"

Hide made a dissatisfied sound. "I already told you that…" But, he starting talking again, explaining about the lack of various wildlife and vegetation.

Kaneki, noticing the drooping of Hide's eyelids, finally realized how late it had gotten.

Hide pause to yawn, breaking off from whatever story he was telling.

"You should sleep." Kaneki muttered.

"…yeah…" He yawned again and snuggled into his sleeping bag, taking only seconds to fall asleep. His face relaxed, soft snores coming from his lips.

Kaneki rubbed his eyes, rather tired himself. But, he couldn't sleep there, still not trusting Hide to that extent. He pushed away from the rock, prepared to dive down to sleep underwater, before he turned and cast another look at Hide.

The idiot looked so defenseless. What if – what had Hide called it? A bear – came from the forest and attacked him? What if the tide suddenly rose and swept him out? He still couldn't swim well enough. Or what if - worse yet – another mermaid came across this place and killed him?

Kaneki shook his head, knowing the thoughts were irrational, yet still unable to escape them. The thought of leaving the guy alone made his stomach turn. What would he do if something happened to him and he could have done something to prevent it?

Kaneki swam back to the rock. He watched Hide's face as he slept. It was going to be a long night.

...

Hide began to stir when the sun rose. Kaneki rubbed his eyes tiredly, contemplating how he would hide his sleepy deprived state from Hide. He stretched his cramped arm and groaned. There was no way to hide it from him. Hopefully he wouldn't question why he didn't sleep.

Hide made a small noise, awakening Kaneki from his thoughts. He sat up slowly, blinking hard and shielding his eyes from the rising sun. He promptly turned away from it and buried his head deeper into his sleeping bag.

Hide stayed turned away from him, but he could tell by his breathing that he was not sleeping.

"Did you stay like that the whole night?" Kaneki cringed a little at the unwanted question.

"I – no. I didn't." He swished his tail in the water, uncomfortable.

Hide rolled over in his sleeping bag and looked Kaneki in the eye. "You're in the exact same place you were last night… and you look half dead.

Kaneki tried for a glare but only ended up looking skittish.

"Could it be…" Hide loomed in with a sadistic smirk. "That you've been watching over me all night?"

Kaneki couldn't stop the strangled sound that escaped his throat or the blush that rushed up his cheeks, warming them. He ducked the bottom half of his face underwater, trying to hide his reaction.

Hide laughed. "I'm kidding. I'm kidding."

Kaneki was embarrassed. "Ye-Yeah."

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"

...

Hide stayed that night as well, grinning at the tired, moping Kaneki, obviously not oblivious. He seemed amused, of all things.

That time, they didn't talk before Hide fell asleep, exhausted from Kaneki's rigorous training regiment, fueled by his annoyance. His light snoring filled the air and Kaneki found is head bobbing as he fought to stay awake.

He was only able to stay up for a few hours. He didn't even get to watch the sun rise. Soon, he found dark spots darting across his vision. His head sunk on top of his folded arms, breathing deepening.

...

Hide gently traced the dark circles under Kaneki's eyes, smiling fondly. He had to admit, he looked rather cute when he was asleep. Not that he wasn't usually cute. He was, especially when he blushed. Hide loved the reaction he got out of the man the other day. He looked really adorable when he got all flustered. Though, he couldn't help feel a little guilty about pushing him so far, especially when he tried so hard to not fall asleep. Maybe he shouldn't have been so cruel. But, it wasn't like he regretted it.

He was beginning to trace the half-circles again when Kaneki's eyes snapped open. Hide quickly drew his hand back, hoping Kaneki was too tired to catch him. He blinked heavily and turned his head, still not all there.

All of a sudden, he gasped and fell back in the water.

Hide laughed. "You're up."

Kaneki bit his lip, unsure of what to do. He fell asleep. He didn't think Hide was going to hurt him in his sleep, but he wasn't sure. But, he didn't hurt him. Did that mean he could trust him?

Kaneki grumbled and pushed his hair off his forehead. He couldn't have been sleeping for too long, it seemed it was still rather early in the morning.

It was somewhat chilly out. Kaneki cast his eyes to the sky and frowned. It was covered in clouds. The air had a certain bite to it and carried a certain smell.

A storm was coming.

"You had better head back."

"Huh?" Hide caught Kaneki's concerned look. "Why?"

"There is going to be a storm. A bad one by the looks of it. You don't want to be caught on the coast when it happens." He tapped his fingers against the rock.

"What about you?" Hide was worried.

"What about me?" Kaneki raised his eyebrows. "Don't worry about me. I've lived in this water my whole life. I know what to do."

Hide was apprehensive. For some reason he couldn't explain, he felt a pit forming in his stomach. "Okay…?"

Kaneki waved his hand. "You need to get moving. Now. Before it hits."

Hide, under Kaneki's observation, packed up in a hurry, before sending one last, worried glance towards Kaneki as he headed back towards the city.

...

The dark, shadowed waves crashed over the rock in the lagoon. Kaneki was sitting there, letting the water wash over him, trying to wake himself up. He sighed and looked at the horizon. If he was right, there would be a fishing vessel just west of him, along the coast. This storm would be enough. The inefficient boats of the poor citizens of the city were hardly capable of staying afloat in such storms. There had to be one, there always was, that didn't make it to land in time before the storm started. Out of the people who went overboard, he would pick up the scraps. It was enough to sustain him.

His stomach growled. The storm was just in time too. Despite his exhaustion, he could not waste such an opportunity. If he didn't eat, he wouldn't stay in control, and then he wouldn't be able to be around Hide.

He kicked with his powerful tail into the water, catching and riding the current underwater. It assisted him out to the coast and he followed close along the shore, but not so close he would be swept ashore by the enormous waves.

Finally, he spotted an old wooden ship, bobbing haphazardly in the water. He rushed towards it, one of his eyes turning into the Kakugan.

A sudden force harshly pushed him to the side. Kaneki struggled against the current to no avail. His tail was too weak. Why was he so weak? Was it the lack of sleep?

He gritted his teeth as his back was slammed up against something jagged. The water dragged him back toward open sea before driving him back into the sharp rocks.

Blood flooded the already black water.


	4. Damage

"Don't move around too much." A faint voice floated into Kaneki's consciousness.

Strong hands pinned his chest down and he struggled against them, the pain in his body taking a second to resister to him. When it did, it hit him hard and he gasped, body freezing.

"Damn it, I told you." The voice sounded angry. Who did it belong to? Kaneki didn't recognize it.

There was pain everywhere. His breath hissed through his clenched teeth, tearing down his throat. Every expansion of his lungs brought more agony to his body.

"Nishio! Hurry the fuck up! What's taking you so damn long? At this rate…"

A new pair of hands pried his mouth open, filling it with a delicious taste that could only be one thing. He chewed eagerly and swallowed.

...

The next time he awoke he was in what seemed to be a cave, the taste of flesh still lingering in his mouth.

The first thing he heard was a sarcastic voice. "Sleep enough?"

He struggled to sit up, only to fail, body aching. "Who are you?"

"Hm. I could ask you the same question." He felt the water around his submerged lower-half shift.

He turned his head and through his blurred vision he saw a beautiful girl with a very dark expression on her face. He shrunk back from her glare.

"M-me? I'm K-Kaneki." He stumbled over his words, afraid of the mermaid in front of him.

"Thanks, genius." He winced. "What I mean is who the hell are you? Going so close to the cliff of death like that during such a storm. If I hadn't of found you, you would be dead!" She growled.

He whimpered. "I-I-I…"

"Do you have a death wish?"

Kaneki was getting more and more panicked with every word she threw at him. "N-no."

"Then don't do such stupid shit, damn it!"

He nodded vigorously, the motion making his head pound. He was willing to do almost anything in that moment to get her to stop yelling at him. She sighed, relaxing back and closed her eyes, allowing him to do the same.

She reopened them, fire still blazing and Kaneki flinched, awaiting more anger.

"Rest up and then get the hell out of here. You are pissing me off." With that she swam off into the darkness.

Like hell he could do that now. His heart raced in his chest and he shuddered. That was why he hated communicating with people. He missed Hide's company. At least it never stressed him out that much.

He tried to raise his upper half again, not liking his compromised position. Upon being able to do so he looked down at his body, surprised by the immense damage. That lady was right. If she hadn't found him – and fed him – he would definitely have died. He gingerly touched his swollen, bruised skin, littered with healing cuts and deep gashes. At least the worst of his injuries, the broken bones, the muscle damage, had mostly healed. Still, he felt like a piece of pulverised meat.

He groaned. He wasn't leaving for a while. He examined the cave, soon noticing two eyes watching him from just above the surface of the water. He gave an uneasy smile and the head ducked underneath the water.

Next it appeared right beside him, revealing it was a young girl, looking shyly, but curiously at him.

"Does it hurt?" Her voice wavered quietly. Kaneki was just able to catch it.

He smiled softer this time. "Only a little."

She looked unconvinced. "Sister can be scary sometimes, but she's nice. She really is."

"Is that so?" She nodded and beamed at him.

She inched closer getting a good look at him. "I'm Hinami."

"Nice to meet you Hinami, I'm Kaneki."

She tried out his name. "Kaneki."

He nodded. "Yes. Who all lives here with you, Hinami?"

"There is Sister and Nishio. Sometimes other people stop by for a bit. My mother and I used to visit. Now, it's just me." Her face was overcome with grief.

Kaneki mentally cursed himself, knowing he picked a touchy subject. He scrambled trying to find something else he could say to distract the kid before she broke down crying.

"Um – Hinami! Do you like stories?"

She looked up in surprise and nodded her head.

"Would you like me to tell you one?"

...

"So then, what happens to the hero in the end?" Her eyes were wide.

"Hm. That's for you to decide. What do you think happened next?" He smiled.

She didn't consider any other options. "He definitely got a happy ending."

Kaneki laughed. "I think so too."

They both jumped at the sound of a splash. The woman from before appeared, looking worried.

"Hinami! There you are!" She shot Kaneki a pointed look.

"What are you doing here?" she asked Hinami softly.

"Brother was telling me a story." She smiled.

The woman seemed flabbergasted. "B-Brother?"

Hinami nodded.

The woman put her hand on her forehead, hiding her expression.

...

Kaneki was along for the next few hours after Hinami and the woman, whose name he learned to be Touka, left. He enjoyed the solitude, feeling strength gradually returning to his body as it healed itself. Though, he was nowhere near being recovered.

His next visitor came unexpectedly and he was definitely not welcome.

The predator prowled under the water, drawn by the delicious smell of a particularly charming meal. The blood he had picked up in the water entranced him with its complex flavour, leaving him no choice but to follow it to its source. The aroma of someone undoubtedly a mermaid, yet held the fragrance similar to that of a human, but somehow richer and more alluring peaked his interest further. He held no qualms about cannibalization. Certainly, he could not when one of his own kind smelled so appealing. He knew from experience that mermaids could not be hunted in the same way humans could. He would have to tread carefully and strike when the opportunity presented itself. Unlike most humans, mermaids were dangerous. But, the more effort he had to put in his chase, the more he would enjoy the meal. Indeed, he was one that enjoyed playing with his food.

His shockingly bright hair popped out of the water, his dramatic greeting echoing of the walls, startling Kaneki.

He smiled kindly. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?" He pushed his bangs up gracefully. "I'm a friend of Touka and Nishio. My name is Tsukiyama." He eyed Kaneki's wounds hungrily. He had to have patience. He had to wait.

"Whose friend?" I cold voice hissed from the other side of the cavern. "Nobody wants you here. Get out." Touka said, hostile.

Tsukiyama brought a hand to his chest looking offended. "After all we've been through? …fine. Well, it looks like I'm unwanted here." He waved at Kaneki. "Until next time, then." He dove under the water, leaving.

"Tch. Bastard." Touka set her scowl on Kaneki. "If you know what's good for you, stay away from that trash."

He nodded numbly, rather confused about what was going on. The only thing he knew was that he really wanted to go back to the lagoon.

It was another few hours before Kaneki tried swimming, and a full day later when he decided he would be able to make it back to the lagoon, though he was certain he would be absolutely exhausted by the time he got there. In the time he was in the cave, it was mostly spent with Hinami, telling her stories he remembered from when his mother would tell him them. Hinami made him promise he would visit again, much to Touka's displeasure.

...

Hide let the sand slowly run through his fingers. When his hand was empty, he filled it again. He didn't know how many times he did it.

He scanned the water. Where was Kaneki? He said not to worry. Damn it. Of course he would worry. If he said he knew what he was supposed to do, then why was he gone? Damn it. Damn it. Damn it! Hide knew something bad happened to him. He knew! And he couldn't do anything about it.

An uncomfortable feeling built in his chest, his throat constricting. He felt something wet run down his cheek, but he paid it no mind.

His eyes scanned the water desperately again. The same empty rock, tilted down on a shallow slope into the water, remained empty with gentle, steady waves lapping at its sides. Waves, dull and unbroken, with no familiar face floating amongst them. The shore still –

Hide blinked and did a double take. The shore was no longer empty. In the low water, laid a figure.

Hide stumbled to his feet and broke into a run, kicking up sand. "Kaneki!"

It was him. It was him. It was him. Hide couldn't run fast enough. As soon as he got close enough to see Kaneki clearly he felt his stomach drop and his heart race franticly. He was hurt. He was hurt bad. Was he even alive? It didn't look like he was moving.

Hide dropped to his knees in the water beside him. "Kaneki!"

Holy shit. He looked bad. Bruises covered every inch of his body. His skin looked painfully swollen and was scattered with various scabbed over cuts. Many were deep and rough, as though the skin wasn't cut, but torn.

Hide's trembling fingers slowly made their way to Kaneki's neck, pressing softly against his pulse point. He sighed in relief when he felt it throbbing strongly against his fingertips. He was alive.

He jumped when he felt something brush against his wrist. Kaneki weakly placed his hand on Hide's. Hide saw his lips move, but the sound didn't reach him.

"What?" He leaned in closer to hear what Kaneki was saying.

"I… made… it back." He breathed, looking exhausted, eyelids fluttering, but not opening.

Hide laughed breathlessly and stroked Kaneki's hair. "Shit man, you had me worried."

Kaneki hummed, more of a groan really, and a smile touched his lips. "Sorry." He leaned into Hide's hand and sighed.

"What happened?"

Kaneki stiffened and didn't answer.

Hide stopped touching his hair, hand dropping down to his cheek. "Kaneki?"

"I – don't worry about it." Kaneki's eyes, now open, pleaded with him.

Hide shook his head. "Impossible. Tell me."

"Hide..." Kaneki's brow furrowed.

Hide's lips drew into a thin line as he waited for his answer.

"…Hide… I needed to eat…" He drew away from Hide's hands, upset.

"…oh… but why during the storm?"

Kaneki exhaled slowly before beginning. "I… I don't like hurting people. But, you know what I have to eat to live. So… if I find people that are already dead… then it is easier for me to…"

"I see." Hide murmured.

"Yeah." Kaneki relaxed again, after feeling Hide not move or flinch away from him.

"You've done this many times then. Going out in storms I mean. Nothing like this has ever happened before?" Hide's hand went back to running through Kaneki's hair.

"N-no." Kaneki regretted his answer the moment he gave it.

Hide's voice was cautious. "So why this time? Why did something happen? What was different?" His eyes widened. "Kaneki… it… was it my fault?"

Kaneki winced at the pain in Hide's voice. "No… it was mine."

"How so, Kaneki? Tell me." He looked at Kaneki sharply.

Kaneki struggled to come up with something that Hide couldn't blame himself for.

Hide's hands curled into fists. "Sorry. I'm… sorry. It was because I…" His jaw tightened. "I didn't let you rest… and then you…" He ran his thumb along a cut on Kaneki's neck.

Kaneki sighed. He never blamed Hide. He made his own choices which led to this. However, him not blaming Hide, wouldn't stop Hide from blaming himself. "It doesn't matter. I'm okay."

"Damn it, Kaneki. You're okay? Have you taken a look at yourself?"

"Yes. And I will heal."

"But, Kaneki." Hide sounded desperate.

"Hide." Kaneki shushed him, painfully bringing his arm to Hide's forearm.

He heard Hide let out an exasperated sound. "Okay."

Kaneki smiled, despite everything, proud he won an argument against his friend.

In the silence, with Hide's hand gently caressing his head and face, and with the calming sensation of the ocean's waves slightly rocking his body, Kaneki found himself being lulled into a peaceful sleep.


	5. Players

Kaneki awoke to the sound of chirping birds singing their lovely songs. It was a sound he was accustomed to. As was the sound of his mother's humming as she gazed at the sunrise. It was something she loved, and something Kaneki came to love as well.

The bare wisps of Kaneki's dream floated away from him, something related to the story his mother told him the previous day.

He glanced around the lagoon. He had been there with his mother for as long as he could remember. It was his home. The water was deep and blue, though it rarely had any fish in it. Kaneki liked to watch them, all the different kinds as they swam. And even though he couldn't touch the foliage that bordered the beach, he could admire its beauty, much like he could admire the sunrise.

He felt elated and at peace. Yes, this was the way things were supposed to be. Him and his mother, living peacefully. But, he couldn't help but feel like he was missing something.

He turned to his mother, frowning, to ask her what he could possibly be missing. It suddenly turned dark. Night time.

She was gone. Kaneki turned around desperately. Where was she? She always told him when she was leaving and when she would be back.

She was supposed to be back by then. Kaneki felt himself watching the scene, detached. That was right – it was that time. He tensed, watching his younger self.

"Kaneki!" His younger self jumped as he gazed at him and his mother sadly.

"Mom!" Kaneki's face filled with joy, only to sink when seeing his mother's distraught expression.

She swam over and grasped him by the shoulders. "Kaneki. You need to listen to me." She shook him when he didn't answer. "Kaneki!"

He nodded, trembling. "Y-yes."

"I need you to be strong." She inhaled quickly, looking towards the horizon. "We will have to part ways here. When I go, I need you to head in the opposite direction. Swim as hard and as fast as you can for as long as you can. And never – ever – return here."

"B-but, what about you?" Kaneki was getting scared.

She gave him a sad smile. "Forget about me." She pulled him tightly into a hug. "Remember Kaneki, don't trust anyone. Stay safe."

He gripped back, never wanting to let go, but she pried his arms from around her. "Go."

"Mom!" He yelled, hysterical.

"Go!" She turned and swam away. He never saw her again.

He wrapped his arms around himself, sobs wracking his body.

...

Kaneki shuddered. He hadn't had that dream in a while. He blinked heavily, sensing that something was… off.

Firstly, he was rather warmer than usual. Almost uncomfortably warm, not that it was a bad feeling. Secondly, the arms wrapped around him were definitely not his own. Also, Hide's snores were way louder than usual. Opening his eyes, Kaneki could see they weren't louder, just closer. Much closer.

In the next few moments he discovered a few things.

That fabric itching his nose was definitely Hide's shirt, Hide's chest felt a lot more muscular than it looked and he definitely didn't know his face could get so hot and red.

He took a few seconds to regain his composure before beginning to gently slip out of Hide's arms. He heard Hide groan at the sudden loss of warmth on his chest and was abruptly pulled down, Hide's arms holding him flush to his chest. Kaneki yelped and trembled.

"H-hide. Hide." He managed to gasp out, embarrassed.

He heard another groan in response and Hide buried his face into the crook of Kaneki's neck, still sleeping, and let out a content sigh. His deep breaths tickled Kaneki's ear.

Screw being kind about it. Kaneki yanked an arm free and splashed Hide in the face with water. He felt his body jerk in shock as he sputtered on the water. He quickly sat up, pulling Kaneki with him. Kaneki's head spun at the rapid movement into a sitting position.

"Huh?" Hide opened and closed his eyes slowly, eventually focusing on a glaring Kaneki in his arms. "Good morning."

Kaneki narrowed his eyes. "Please let go of me."

"Oh. Right." Hide let go gingerly, making sure Kaneki didn't go crashing down in his weakened state. "Sorry."

"Hmph." He didn't look sorry.

"Hey…" Hide's face appeared close to Kaneki's and he froze. His intent gaze was focused on Kaneki's cheek. "Were you crying?"

"I-I don't know." Kaneki touched his cheek – still hot from blushing – and found it to have wet streaks down it. "I guess."

Hide's thumb wiped at one of the lines. "Why?"

"Bad dream." Kaneki mumbled, turning his head away. Why did Hide have to keep touching him so casually? Even though Hide let go, he was still uncomfortably close.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hide's voice was filled with concern.

Kaneki shook his head, quickly changing the subject. "Um – earlier. What the hell was with that?" His cheeks flamed again. Damn it. Why did he bring it back up? He needed to stop thinking about it.

"With what?" Hide smirked, clearly toying with the other man.

Kaneki blushed harder and stammered. "You know what!"

Hide laughed. "Okay. Okay. Well, I got tired and I fell asleep."

"That doesn't explain-!"

Hide waved his hand. "I'm getting to that. Hmmm. I didn't do that while I was awake. So I did it while I was asleep. Maybe I was cold?" Hide shrugged his shoulders.

Kaneki sighed in defeat. "Fine. Whatever."

He sensed rather than saw Hide's smile. "Feeling better today?"

"Somewhat. I heal pretty quickly."

Hide made a sound of agreement. "Well, since you can't help me with swimming for the next while, I have something for you."

Kaneki glanced up, interested. "What?"

Hide jumped up and splashed through the shallow water. "Hang on! I'll be right back!"

Kaneki watched with curiosity as Hide ran across the beach to his bag, which he seemed to fumble through, before sprinting back with something dark and rectangular in his hand. He sat back beside Kaneki, looking excited. He opened the first page of the book and shifted so Kaneki could see it too.

"Ready to learn how to read?"

...

Unknown to the two men, a menacing looking man was watching from a fair distance, expressionless. His piercing eyes focused on the odd scene in front of him.

Like Touka mentioned, the boy was strange. Very strange, to have a relationship with a human like that. He felt a rare smile come to his face, the one corner of his mouth twitching up slightly.

He really couldn't help himself, a plot already intruding into his mind. It seemed he was going to have fun with this one.

Tragedies were underrated.

...

Amon folded his arms, watching the waves roll below. The boat swayed steadily in the sea, unlike a few days ago. The storm was chaos, they barely made it back to the shore in time. In that storm, one of their ally's ships had perished. Until there was another one built, the survivors become part of the crew he was in. He was always glad when there was extra hands, which usually meant less casualties.

Though, one of his new colleagues was causing him some worry. He was leaning precariously over the railing, smiling to himself. His name was Suzuya. With him, was another man from the same ship, Shinohara. He seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. He guessed he wouldn't have to worry about Suzuya as long as he was looking after him.

I school of fish swam beneath the boat and a few jumped out of the water, causing Suzuya to let out a loud, pleased sound.

It was a calm day.

But, it wasn't calm for long.

The ship jerked in a sudden movement, almost throwing Suzuya overboard.

"Whoooaaa!" Suzuya laughed as he flipped over the rail. He effortlessly swung himself up like a gymnast and took a stance on the rail. His balance amazed Amon, though Shinohara looked unimpressed.

"Be careful over there!" Amon yelled.

He grit his teeth as the young, white-haired man blatantly ignored him.

"How many?" Shinohara called.

Amon looked over his side of the ship. "Three here!"

"One – HEY Suzuya! Damn it! Not again!"

"Yippee!"

Shinohara watched as Suzaya dove off the side of the ship and into the water below, his shirt open, revealing many sets of knives.

"What the hell is he doing?!" Yelled Amon, panicked.

Shinohara shook his head. "Never mind that! Focus on killing the mermaids you see!" He threw the rope ladder over the ship for when Suzuya was done with his escapades.

Amon shouted his disapproval and raised a trident, taking aim. He quickly skewered a male in the chest. He sunk into the water, a pained look on his face. Damn it. He just injured him. It was pointless unless they got their heart. They could regenerate from just about anything else. He would think beheading them would also work, though he never tried that method himself. He searched for his next target.

"Got one!" Shinohara informed.

Amon's forehead creased. "Injured one here! It's out of commission."

"The other two?"

Amon scanned the water. "I have no visual!"

A sing-song voice called out. "Goooot them!"

Three heads popped over the rim of the ship. Suzuya's face was horrifically sunny next to the decapitated heads of two mermaids, necks horrifically and raggedly sawed. Suzaya hopped over the rail and onto the deck, blood from the heads and diluted blood from his clothes dripping and staining the wood.

Shinohara simply sighed and peeled off his jacket. "Put this on. You will catch a cold. Also, get rid of those."

"Alright!" He nonchalantly tossed the heads into the water with a gleeful laugh before trotting over to Shinohara, taking the jacket from his extended hand. He put it on, the large article hanging loosely from his slender frame, as he quietly sang something about winning under his breath.

...

Another failure. The lifeless body laid in front of the doctor, unnaturally pale. He sighed and wiped the sweat off his brow. He really hated disposing the bodies… maybe he could get is secretary to do it… He shook his head and picked up the suitcase. He set it on a cart next to the body and opened it, carefully unsealing the enclosed plastic bag within. It would be trouble if it started dripping blood when he carried it across town. He picked up his scalpel and cut into the torso. There were no changes from being human. No new systems so that the subject could breathe underwater. Since there were no changes to the upper body, he moved the lower body. Slight change, if any to the genitalia. He moved onto the legs and cut in, examining the muscles. This was where most of the changes were. He dissected various portions and took pictures from different angles and made a few notes in his notebook.

This trial had to be the least successful in a while. He was getting frustrated. Extremely so. He had been experimenting for nearly a decade. Sure, he had plenty of progress, but at the rate he going at he wasn't going to find the answer before he died of old age. It was a shame. If he had the university's technology he would definitely have made more progress, but he knew they would never approve of such experiments, so he was left to do it on his own, with his own devises. Not only that, but there was only one human he trusted to help him with his work.

He needed a change. A big one. He looked at his number one subject, floating in a tank of water, her deep purple hair fanned out around her. He needed a new test subject. A full blooded mermaid wasn't going to cut it.

He needed a half-blood. The one he had tried to capture all those years ago escaped and all he had left was subject one. It seemed he was going to have to ask another favor of his undersea allies. He hefted the suitcase up. At least he had something to trade for information.


	6. Regret

Hide's voice sounded sweet in Kaneki's ear. But Kaneki wouldn't admit that. He taught Kaneki when he wasn't too tired, and when he was, Hide would continue reading to him as he closed his eyes. More often than not, Kaneki would find himself leaning against Hide, unsure of how exactly he ended up in that position. When he realized his positioning, he would scoot away quickly while Hide shot him an amused look.

Hide was always close by when they went to sleep. Kaneki didn't know why. Was he afraid he was going to float away of something? But, thankfully, he always kept a respectable distance away. All though, Kaneki did miss the warm of his body in the cold of the night. But, not enough that he would crawl over in the middle of the night. It wasn't worth seeing Hide's smug expression in the morning, he decided.

A voice drew him from his thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"

Kaneki jumped, startled. He felt his body move against something and cursed himself as he realized he was pressed up against Hide again. "Huh?"

A finger lightly traced Kaneki's cheekbone. "You're all red."

Kaneki swatted the hand away. "It's nothing."

Kaneki felt Hide's chest shake as he let out a laugh. He sighed, tired in more ways than one and let his head rest on Hide's shoulder. Really, if Hide was going to keep touching him anyway, what was the point? Besides it felt nic – he did not just think that.

"Hey, are you listening to me?" Hide put his hands on Kaneki's shoulders as if to shake him, before he thought better of it.

But, it did feel nice. The warmth of Hide's palms burnt into his skin. Kaneki had to resist to lean in for more of the warmth he knew he wanted. Hide's intent gaze only made it harder.

Fuck it.

He gently pulled Hides hands off his shoulders and folded them together between them. Hide was watching him closely, eyes illuminated from within. He took a deep breath. And then another, head tilted down, bangs hiding his eyes, but not the rest of his face, which was bright red.

He was frozen like that, unsure of what to do. After a few minutes Hide slipped his hands from Kaneki's, almost making the man panic. Hide was smiling softly and enclosed his hands over Kaneki's, thumbs tracing small circles on the backs of Kaneki's hands. He didn't resist when Hide pulled him against his chest.

"Do you like this, Kaneki?" He voice was low in Kaneki's ear, making him shudder.

He flushed and pressed his face into Hide's chest. "W-what the hell kind of question is th-that?" His voice muffled against Hide's skin.

Hide just chuckled. "Do you?" Kaneki could feel the muscles of his stomach move under his shirt. How did Kaneki's hands get there? Hide's hands moved deliberately and slowly as they wrapped around Kaneki's back, barely touching his skin as they moved.

"I guess." Why did Hide always have to tease him?

Hide hummed, the attractive sound effectively catching Kaneki's attention. "That answer is too ambiguous. Try again."

Damn him. Kaneki bit his lip, embarrassed to give his answer. So, he just gave a slight nod, causing Hide to sigh.

"No. No. No." He scolded. "Not good enough Kaneki." He brought on hand to Kaneki's chin and lifted it up to look into his eyes. "I want to hear you say it."

Kaneki's delicate hands on Hide's chest tightened as he abruptly pushed him away. "Quit it!" He glared up at Hide. "Why do you have to be so mean?"

Seeing the tears in Kaneki's eyes, Hide's eyes immediately widened, realizing he had push him too far. "I'm sorry, I –" He reached forward towards Kaneki, quickly recognizing it was a mistake.

Kaneki quickly moved backwards, relying on his one arm to brace him against the shallowly covered sand. But, since he was moving backward, deeper into the water, it was much deeper than he expected. He felt himself extent his arm too far and one of his still healing gashes tore back open when his hand finally hit the ground. He hissed in pain and splashed into the water.

"Kaneki!" Hide cautiously moved towards him.

He breathed through clenched teeth before turning on Hide, hand grasping his wound, now leaking blood between his fingers. "Leave me alone! Just leave me alone!" His shout echoed in the silence.

Hide had his lips pressed together and rose from the water. "Okay." He turned and headed towards the shore, hiding his upset expression. Kaneki noticed his steps were unnaturally jerky. He quickly packed his bag up and left the beach.

Kaneki sighed and brought his hands to cover his face, accidently smudging the blood on it. He curled up in on himself and closed his eyes.

...

Hide thankfully made it back to the forest before the tears began to flow. He stopped, putting his bag down and grasped the side of a tree as he caught his breath. He fucked up. Again. He was the reason Kaneki got hurt in the first place. Now, he was hurt again because of him. Kaneki was right. He was mean. He always went too far with teasing him. Why didn't he just know when to stop?

He banged his head lightly against the bark of the tree. Guilty as he was, he wanted nothing but to head back to the beach again. He wanted to see his face again and feel his body again. But, proven by the latest outcomes, it was clear Kaneki was better off without him. It was selfish of him to want to stay with him. How long could something like that last? They were different species, damn it!

He picked his bag back up and headed towards the city. It would probably be better if he never went back to that beach ever again.

...

Hide didn't come back the next day. Even after what happened, Kaneki still expected him to show up the next morning, with a smile on his face and a book in his hand. He expected to hear his voice call out to him as he woke up and begin reading to him while he was still half asleep. His lack of presence in the morning left Kaneki feeling empty and utterly alone. He hadn't felt so lonely since after his mother first left him.

He would have wanted him to come back, even if it wasn't with an apology. The feeling only grew throughout the day as Kaneki lazily watched the sun make its path along the sky. He found his thoughts focused on Hide, no matter how hard he tried to ignore them. He remembered the feeling of his hands against his skin and the soothing feeling of his voice and the way his whole body felt on fire when he looked at him with those eyes.

He growled and rubbed his face harshly. Was he ever coming back? Was he teasing him again by not coming? He hoped not, because by far, that would the cruelest method. If he could have just worked up the nerve to say a simple 'yes' then maybe all of this could have been avoided.

He waited the whole day and still, Hide did not return.

...

It was getting close to midnight, and still Kaneki could not sleep. He even moved back to the rock, hoping it would help. It didn't. He tossed and turned, failing to find a comfortable position. His mind far too active and yearning to allow him to fall asleep.

He shot up when he heard a faint splashing sound in the water. He glanced around the shore, hoping to see Hide looking for him or skipping rocks. He saw nothing. He sighed and closed his eyes again. It must have been just his imagination.

He heard the sound again. Maybe it wasn't his imagination. Either that or he was going crazy. He thoroughly examined the sea this time, searching for the source of the sound.

He found a head of purple. "Hello." Tsukiyama said smoothly.

Kaneki yelped in surprise and grasped at his chest where his heart raced.

"Ah, no. You're a skittish one, aren't you? Here, I went and scared you again." He smiled kindly. "I give you my apologies once more. I will be careful not to do it again."

Kaneki looked skeptically at the man. "What – Why are you here? How did you find this place?"

Tsukiyama looked at him with an honest expression. "Oh, Kaneki, I caught the smell of your blood in the water. I was worried you hurt yourself again." He looked Kaneki up and down like a piece of meat. "And I am thoroughly glad to see you are alright."

"Really?" Kaneki did not trust him one bit.

"Why, yes." Much to Kaneki's displeasure, Tsukiyama slid up on the rock beside him. He leaned away, sharply sending him a glare. "I didn't catch your name the last time we met."

Kaneki looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Kaneki."

Tsukiyama clasped his hands together. "Ah! What a lovely name. Très bien!"

Touka warned him to stay away from this man, and he was happy to comply. He had a bad feeling about him. But how was he supposed to get rid of him? It wasn't like he could leave the lagoon. Well, maybe could, but Kaneki in no way wanted to abandon Hide. But, if he stayed there and Tsukiyama stayed, what would happen when Hide finally came back? Kaneki didn't like Tsukiyama and the look of constant hunger on his face. Would Tsukiyama try to eat his friend? That thought left a sick feeling in Kaneki's stomach, making him want to throw up. There was no way he would allow that.

He tried the same tactic Touka used. "Go away."

"What?" Tsukiyama looked devastated and pouted. "Non! I just got here! It was a rather far swim you know!"

Kaneki grit his teeth. He never did well with arguments. "Leave. Please."

"But I had something I wanted to show you, mon ami petit!"

Tsukiyama stared at him hopefully. Kaneki supposed if it would get him away from the lagoon… he couldn't have Hide getting hurt.

"What is it?" Kaneki tried to sound interested and ultimately failed.

Tsukiyama smiled. "Why, that is a surprise! Mon Dieu, Kaneki, have patience. You will see when we get there."

Kaneki slipped into the water. "Where are we going?" He still felt the various aches and pains in his body. Hopefully he could manage to hide that from Tsukiyama. Something told Kaneki he already knew though.

"North! I hope you are up for it Kaneki! Oui, it will be much fun!" Tsukiyama dove into the water, eagerly taking the lead. "This way! Follow me, mon ami petit!"

Kaneki did as he said, hoping he wasn't making a big mistake. Yes, it was definitely a mistake, but hopefully not one that would get him killed. He didn't care how bad he got hurt as long as Hide was kept safe. Hopefully, after this little adventure, Tsukiyama would be satisfied enough to leave him alone.

He swam hard, just barely keeping up with Tsukiyama in his injured state. He wondered if he was doing it on purpose, to see if he was still injured or maybe to tire him out. Either possibility didn't seem very good.

Kaneki knew they were nearly at the destination. He smelled other mermaids in the water. He shuddered. This was not going to be good.

Tsukiyama surfaced and Kaneki followed him.

"Here we are, Kaneki!" He waved his arms to the side, showing off the grand display.

There were four devises of some sort floating in a square shape on the surface of the water, barely visible. They were about fifteen meters apart on each side. Thick, metal cords were attached to them and went down to the ocean's bottom, where Kaneki supposed they were anchored down. Underwater, attaching the cords together was a thick net. The whole thing reminded Kaneki of a cage. It even had a top. Another net could be pulled over just under the surface of the water.

Outside the net, was a large group of spectators eagerly watching the scene inside. Kaneki couldn't believe his eyes. Was that… a human? And a mermaid?

Kaneki's eyes were not deceiving him. They were fighting. The mermaid, with her superior strength and a human with a set of knives.

Tsukiyama laughed. "It is quite a show, isn't it? It's a shame it has a time limit, since humans can only go so long without oxygen underwater. But, that makes it more exciting, don't you think?"

Kaneki watched in horror as the human hacked at the mermaid's neck with his blades until she was decapitated. Blood filled the water and the spectator mermaids and mermen watched hungrily.

"The winner gets to survive and the loser feeds the crowd. A game with life as its stakes. What do you think, Kaneki?"

He swallowed and didn't answer, eyes glued on the man as he swam to the surface, a merman uncovering the cage so he could get some oxygen. A small group of mermaids then dove into the cage, tearing apart the man and throwing various body parts to the crowd.

"Well, Kaneki? I wonder how you will fare." Tsukiyama grinned.

Kaneki jerked away from him with wide eyes, but not before two sets of hands firmly gripped him by the shoulders and dragged him to the cage. Too weak to fight back, he looked around hopelessly as they threw him in and drew the top net over, encasing him inside.


	7. Cage

Kaneki desperately gripped the netting, trying to tear it apart, but to no avail. The only thing he managed to do was break a finger when his hand slipped and his index got caught on the netting.

He turned quickly, sensing something behind him. He felt a sharp pain in his chest as a blade cut through it. He gasped, clutching at his wounded ribs as he evaded the next strike. A human was staring at him with surprisingly cold eyes given their age. They were younger than he was, maybe fifteen or sixteen. Why were they here? Why could they possibly be fighting in a place like this? Why did this place even exist?

He looked at the hungry crowd and they looked back, but they didn't seem to be seeing. Their eyes were empty, void of emotion, watching a battle to the death no different than Kaneki would watch a sunset. They watched eagerly for his death, cheering, becoming only more desperate when they caught the smell of his blood. How could somebody want someone to die, just to serve their palate?

The young man fighting him – no, fighting wasn't the right word. The young man hunting him smiled and ran his tongue along the blade of his next knife before expertly throwing it through the water at Kaneki, who just barely moved his head away in time, escaping with only a nick to the tip of the ear. The chase continued. Kaneki had the natural advantage when it came to speed in water. He used his tail to propel him away from the human. Though, due to the long swim, his previous injuries and the blood leaking into the water at the moment, he was quickly becoming extremely exhausted. The only comfort he had was that the human had to be getting tired too, though they were not showing it. It didn't matter how long they could hold their breath for, as long as oxygen was not being supplied to the muscles they would eventually lose their strength.

As it was at that moment, it seemed the human had the advantage, not tiring nearly as quickly as Kaneki did. They hadn't even been in the water for a full minute yet. He had to do something if he wanted to survive. He couldn't bring himself to kill the boy, even if it meant guaranteeing his survival. So, all he did was continue to dodge, without any real plan on how to escape.

He involuntarily winced as a knife came dangerously close to his eye, eyelids closing for only a second–

He felt a blade pierce his shoulder. In the next second the boy was right in front of him, preparing to slash at his neck with a particularly gleeful expression. He didn't want to die. He plunged forward, ducking under the fast, swiping motion and drove his fist into the boy's solar plexus. He gasped, inhaling water and sent Kaneki a pained, hateful look.

Kaneki kept his distance. It was easier now. The boy was running out of steam. His throws were wide and Kaneki no longer had to dodge the knives that were sent his way. He could easily keep the distance between the two so that the boy could not use his close ranged movements either. He could tell the boy was getting more frantic and weaker with every passing second. He was running on fumes and surely would pass out soon. That meant he would lose.

Kaneki watched as his legs slowed until they stopped altogether, body hunched over as the boy lost consciousness, knife slipping from his hand and falling into the black abyss towards the ocean floor. Kaneki wanted to sigh in relief, but panic struck him, not knowing what would happen if neither of them won, unaware that he was already the victor.

In the next moment a mermaid and a merman dove into the cave, heading towards the boy. Kaneki watched in horror as they each took an arm and pulled, forcing them from their sockets and threw them into the crowd. The crowd fought like savages for just a little taste of the meat. He saw more limbs go flying, followed by various organs and parts of the torso. The head was practically ignored, not having enough meat on it.

He felt an arm grab his and pull him to the surface, through the netted top of the cage. He went along numbly, still staring at the scene playing out below him. He reached the surface, hyperventilating and pupils dilated in fear. He was startled by the sound of Tsukiyama clapping.

"Good show, good show, Kaneki! You really got the crowd impatient for blood! It's rare a first timer lasts so long, if they last at all!" He let out a wholehearted laugh. "Well, what do you think? Wasn't it fun? Thrilling?"

Kaneki shook his head in shock. How could he say something like that? How could he be so relaxed and good spirited after what had just happened? After what he just put Kaneki through.

"Oh, my." Tsukiyama glanced towards Kaneki's shoulder. "You did get beat up quite a bit though." He reached towards the impaled knife.

Kaneki jerked back, finally awaking from his shock. "Don't fucking touch me!" He gripped the knife and yanked it out himself. Tsukiyama looked at the fresh, undiluted blood flowing from his shoulder hungrily.

"Why are you mad, mon ami petit?" He looked genuinely confused.

"Stop calling me that!" Kaneki glared. "I'm leaving."

"Do you want me to make sure you get home safe? It's forbidden for the crowd to attack someone after they've won a battle, but, well, we've had some incidents in the past. I would be especially careful, since your blood gives off a rather lovely smell." Tsukiyama offered his hand.

Kaneki stared at it in pure disgust. "No."

Tsukiyama sighed. "Ah, what a shame. I meant for this to be in all good fun, but it seems you didn't enjoy it at all."

Really, did he actually mean that? Was it really intended as something for Kaneki to have fun or was Tsukiyama betting on the fact he would lose? Either way, this was a man Kaneki wanted stay away from.

Kaneki shook his head again and backed away to what he considered a safe distance before turning and getting the hell out of there. He went back to the lagoon, but he wasn't planning on staying there for long. He knew if Tsukiyama ever came looking for him that would be the first place he would go. He couldn't risk Hide getting involved. He had to warn him in some way.

When Kaneki made it to the lagoon, he could see the shore was still empty. It made Kaneki sad. He at least want to say a goodbye, or tell Hide in his own words about why he was leaving. He wasn't very good at communicating, but it was still better than what he was about to do.

Kaneki dove down and scooped up some mud in his hand. When he reached the surface he pulled himself up onto the rock. He hoped he wasn't going to screw this up. He hardly knew any words, but he did know some thanks to Hide's teachings. He still didn't know enough to effectively communicate his message. So, he settled for a simple one. He bent down, using his index finger to mimic the letters he had seen in the books Hide read to him.

DO NOT GO IN.

He drew an arrow pointing to the water. He hoped Hide would see it before the weather wore it away. He hated leaving a message like that. As long as he understood to not go in the water. If he didn't go in the water then he was safe from other mermaids. But, what would Hide think? There was no way for him to know Kaneki was leaving to protect him. Kaneki's chest started to hurt. He wondered if Hide would think he hated him. They didn't exactly part on good terms. Would he think Kaneki left because he was angry? He swallowed against the feeling building in his throat.

There was no point in thinking about it. He would never see Hide again. He took a deep breath and dove back into the water. There was somewhere else he needed to stop.

...

Kaneki entered the cave slowly, carefully watching to make sure Touka didn't kill him or so that Hinami couldn't see his fresh injuries. However, he came across a completely different person.

"Huh? Back already?" Mischievous eyes met Kaneki's. "That sure didn't take long." His eyes traveled to Kaneki's wounds and he scowled. "And injured too, we're not a service to be used you know…"

Kaneki jumped. "Ah! No, that's not why I'm here. Uh, I'm sorry, but have we met before?" Kaneki rubbed the back of his head, surprised at how casually the stranger talked to him.

"Tch. Well, I guess you wouldn't remember me. You were pretty out of it. If you aren't here for food, then what are you here for? Hurry up and spit it out. I don't have all day."

"I-I had a run in with a certain merman and I was wondering if I could get some information on him… Touka seemed to know him." This man was almost as hard to talk to as Touka.

The man scratched his neck. "Then why the hell are you asking me? Geez, what a waste of time. I'll go get her for you then. Be careful, she's in a bad mood today."

Kaneki gulped and nodded. It only took a minute or so for Touka to show up.

She rose out of the water the way an angry spirit would rise out of its grave. Kaneki resisted the urge to cringe away from her.

"What the hell do you want?" Her voice was a lot more intimidating than he thought it would be.

He jumped. "Ah – um – well – you see…"

"Nishio said you wanted information about a mermaid. What makes you think I will help you?"

Kaneki sighed. "It was worth a try. Besides, you told me to stay away from him."

She made a disgusted face. "Ugh. So it is Tsukiyama. Yeah, I told you that. So why are you looking for information?"

Kaneki paled. "If I stay away from him, it doesn't necessarily mean he will stay away from me."

Touka examined Kaneki's face, considering her answer. "Fine." Touka grumbled.

"What?" Kaneki looked up hopefully.

"I'll tell you what I know about him."

...

Hide walked along the shore of the beach. He tried to stay away. He really did, yet he found his feet dragging him back to this place. Eventually he just gave up and let them take him there.

He knew Kaneki had to be angry at him and Hide was feeling really guilty. He kept trying to formulate an apology on his walk there, but it always came out sounding wrong. Hide hoped he would know what to say when the time came. He always felt better when he could read people's emotions.

He really didn't expect Kaneki not to be there. It was stupid, he disappeared on him so many times. But, he couldn't help but feel this time was different. He couldn't describe how he felt. Empty just wasn't a strong enough word.

He scanned the sea and his eyes fell upon the rock. There was something odd about it. He walked up to inspect it. There was messy writing, almost illegible. It read:

GO IN.

Next to it was a smudge of mud and an arrow pointing to the sea. Hide smiled at the messy writing Kaneki left him. At least he learned something. Hide quickly stripped off his clothes and hopped into the water, unaware that it was not Kaneki who was waiting for him.


	8. Standing on Two Feet

He wanted to go back already. He decided only a couple of hours ago to leave and never go back. Yet, here he was already going in the direction of the lagoon. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he stay away? He felt he had to go, like it wasn't his decision anymore, but his body's.

He shook his head. This would be the last time. If Hide wasn't there he would leave. If Hide was there he would tell him why he was leaving. He couldn't tell Hide where he was going, because he wasn't sure. He would hate for Hide to waste time looking for someone like him. Before he disappeared, he wanted to say goodbye one last time. That was all he wanted.

From what Touka told Kaneki he knew Tsukiyama would come after him again. She told him he had likely targeted him as his next meal. She almost looked sympathetic. Almost. He learned that Tsukiyama ran the fights in the net cage. It was known amongst mermaids as the arena. Kaneki shuddered at the memory.

Kaneki froze in the water as he caught a familiar smell. Blood. It was faint. There was only a little of it. He felt a cold feeling rush down his spine. He raced back to the lagoon.

He surface quickly, smelling even more blood in the air. "Hide!" He looked around, but no one was there. The lagoon was dark and empty. "HIDE!" He kept calling, but there was no answer.

He whipped around in a circle, looking in all directions. The smell of blood was strong. So where was it coming from? His eyes fell upon the rock and he raced towards it. He hastily pulled himself up so he could get a better look.

He gagged. The rock was smudged with blood and the mud from before, but one word was clear.

Come.

It was written grotesquely in Hide's blood. To the right, he could see the writing utensil. A finger. He could see the mark along the end. It was bitten off. That fucker bit off Hide's finger. For all Kaneki knew Hide could have already been dead, eaten by Tsukiyama. But he took some comfort in what Touka said. Kaneki was his target, not Hide. Kaneki's eyes followed a bloody arrow pointing out to sea.

"Hang in there, Hide." Kaneki swam in the direction of the arrow, following the scent of blood.

...

Hide was aware of a pain in his hand and his leg. He groaned. Why was he so tired again?

"Oh, you're awake? Très bien! I almost forget your kind had to breathe so much!" It was an unfamiliar voice to Hide. It sounded sickly sweet and out of place.

He struggled to remember what happened. He was looking for Kaneki. The writing… he went into the water. When he jumped in he had felt something grab his ankle. Pain. He tried to kick himself away, but the pressure on his ankle made him gasp and inhale water. Next, he was suddenly dragged to the surface, his face pressed into the side of the rock as he chocked and spurted, his left hand held out to the side. More pain. Hide remembered screaming, but not much else. Then he was dragged back under the water.

Now, he was here. The person who was with him was likely his attacker. Hide opened his eyes cautiously, sneaking a peek at the man. He was handsome, model like, but his looks were twisted with the starved look on his face.

Noticing the fluttering of Hide's eyes, Tsukiyama smiled. "I hope he gets here soon."

"Who?" Hide was surprised at how weak his voice sounded.

"Kaneki! Of course. Who else?" Hide eyes widened. Kaneki was coming here?

Hide's whole body started shaking. "W-Why?"

"Mon Dieu, to save you of course. At least I hope so. He did care enough to leave a message to tell you not to go in the water." Tsukiyama laughed. "Easily changeable."

What did this man want from Kaneki?

"To devour him of course." Hide didn't realize he asked aloud. "He had better hurry up. I'm starving." He licked his lips and closely examined Hide's hand. "I don't want to ruin my appetite before he gets here… but I don't know how long I can stand it."

Hide prayed Kaneki didn't come. He bit his lip and looked away from the bright-haired man, expecting more pain. None came. He glanced back at the man, surprised to see his attention otherwise diverted, a wide smile on his face.

Kaneki's eye fell on Hide, held afloat on the metal floatation device on top of the cage, his wrist bound by the rope netting. Tsukiyama was next to him, eyes holding an enthusiastic glint in them.

He clenched his teeth. How in the world was he going to fight Tsukiyama? Touka said he was powerful and Kaneki had no fighting experience. But, he had to try. He had to save Hide.

Hide saw Kaneki's head bobbing in the water, an unreadable expression in his eyes. Suddenly, he dove under the water. Tsukiyama quickly followed.

Kaneki plunged into the darkness, hoping he wouldn't have to dive too deep, hands extended downward. He was relieved when he touched the bottom. He knew there should be one somewhere, they were thrown around in the arena plenty. His hands scoured the bottom, searching. Something sliced into his fingertips and he winced, but at the same time felt pleased. He grabbed the handle of the knife and made the slow ascension upwards. He held it outwards, prepared to stab Tsukiyama if he managed to find him in the darkness.

A weight collided with his shoulder, almost sending the knife flying from his hand. Kaneki could feel the current as the Tsukiyama passed by him. He tried to relax and focus. He listened to the silence of the ocean, he tasted the water, he felt the water around him, ready to move if he detected any changes, and he waited. He would be ready when Tsukiyama made the next move. As long as Kaneki injured Tsukiyama first, he would have the advantage.

Kaneki was his target. Tsukiyama waited for a while before attacking. Kaneki figured he was trying to get him to surface in fear of him hurting Hide. But Kaneki was smarter enough to not do that. If Tsukiyama killed Hide there would be no reason for Kaneki to stay. Tsukiyama didn't want to risk Kaneki escaping, so of course he wouldn't hurt Hide. Kaneki did the best to keep a level head, focusing only on the task at hand and trying not to think about his injured friend back at the surface. There was no reason for Tsukiyama to hurt Hide. If Kaneki could see him doing it, then Tsukiyama would. He could easily egg him on like that, anger him, and make him an easier target. But also long as Kaneki couldn't see what was happening, there was no reason to it. Kaneki wouldn't know if Tsukiyama was hurting Hide or not, so there was no point to hurt Hide when Kaneki felt the same regardless of whether the effort was put in or not. Kaneki was betting that Tsukiyama wouldn't and was too focused on him, instead of Hide. Using that method of thinking, it was far safer for Hide if Kaneki stayed in the darkness.

He felt the water behind him shift and he spun, thrusting the knife out and felt a jolt go through his arms when something heavy collided with him. The smell of Tsukiyama's blood flooded his senses. He drew his hand back, ready to stab again. A strong hand gripped his wrist painfully, but Kaneki refused to drop the knife. He drew his other hand back, palm open, and thrust it forward at the hilt of the knife. With the extra strength behind it, the blade drove forward, Kaneki's wrist escaping Tsukiyama's hand. More blood filled the water. Kaneki sliced at the water where he guessed Tsukiyama's neck would be. He made contact with nothing. He swiped where his chest was. Still nothing.

He left. Kaneki felt his lack of presence. Kaneki knew he hurt him bad by stabbing him twice in the chest. If Tsukiyama wanted to continue the fight he would have to heal himself. To heal himself he needed – human meat. Hide. He wasn't safe in this fight after all.

Kaneki swam as quickly as he could. As soon as he could see he searched for Hide. He saw a blood trail and Tsukiyama closing in on Hide, a hand clutching his punctured chest. He had to get to Tsukiyama before he got to Hide. He had to make it.

Kaneki shot forward, knife at the ready, the other hand reaching towards Tsukiyama's tail. He closed his hand around the end of it and yanked Tsukiyama back. As if in slow motion he saw his arm arch forward and the knife slice deeply into Tsukiyama's throat. Blood was everywhere.

Kaneki pushed Tsukiyama's limp body aside. It was stupid, but he wished he didn't kill the merman, despite all that Tsukiyama did, Kaneki didn't want to become a murderer.

"Hide!" Kaneki swam over to him, worried. His face softened when he saw Hide was conscious. "Are you okay?"

Hide nodded, his good hand came to face. "Yeah, just a little beat up."

Kaneki's lips thinned into a line. "Hang on. I'll get you free." He worked on untying the knot. It came free surprisingly easy. Maybe knots weren't Tsukiyama's strong suit.

As soon as the knot was undone, Hide slid off the flotation device and immediately began to sink.

"Ah!" Kaneki gripped him by the back of his shirt.

Hide made a pained face. "Sorry, I can't move around much."

Kaneki smiled. "It's okay. I'll get us back to shore, so don't worry." Kaneki wrapped Hide's arms around his neck. "Hang on the best you can." Kaneki stuck the knife between his teeth.

He swam slower, making sure Hide didn't lose his grasp, and making sure to keep his head above the water at all times. When he saw Hide's eyes close he tightened his hold on him.

The shore came into view far too slowly for Kaneki's liking. By the time he reached there Hide was unconscious and breathing deeply.

Kaneki took the knife from his mouth. "Hide. Wake up!" Kaneki shook his shoulder gently. "Hide."

Hide mumbled a response, but didn't fully wake. Kaneki shook him harder as he came into shallow water.

"Hide. You need to get up."

Kaneki had a bad feeling. "Hide you need to get out of the water! Get up!"

He turned when he heard a splash behind him. Tsukiyama was dragging himself with his arms in the shallow water, gazing at them intently, looking murderous. He was crawling towards them slowly. Kaneki still had the knife, but he didn't want to use it.

"Damn it!" He pulled Hide further up the shore, struggling more on the sand as the water got shallower and shallower. "Hide!"

Finally he reached a point when there was almost no water at all. Tsukiyama was still coming and Kaneki couldn't move both his body weight and Hide's with only the strength of his arms.

Tsukiyama was getting closer. He had to do something. Anything. He desperately tried using his tail to push them forward, but he couldn't get the right angle to get enough power to move. He tried again and again.

Finally, something happened. He began to have a weird feeling in his tail, and in his desperation he almost didn't notice it. He tried again. He drove his tail into the sand and pushed. He moved. He didn't have time to question what was happening. He kept kicking until he and Hide were a safe distance away from the water. Kaneki was breathing heavily.

He looked towards Tsukiyama and if he wasn't in the situation he was in, he would have laughed at his face. It was one of pure surprise, jaw dropped, eyes wide and face paled. What gave him such an astounded reaction? He followed his gaze to his tail – feet.

Kaneki was too shocked to even make a sound. He had a feeling his face mirrored Tsukiyama's, though he did recover much quicker. Kaneki experimentally tried curling his toes and made a small sound of surprise when they obeyed his order. Why did he have legs? Why -

He could think about that later. He directed his attention back to Hide. As long as they were on shore they were safe from Tsukiyama, but Hide definitely needed medical attention.

Kaneki carefully rose to his feet, having some trouble finding his balance on his new appendages. He gathered Hide in his arms and hurried over to Hide's bag. He searched through it, but found nothing of use. That only left one option. They had to go to the city.


	9. Doctor

Hide opened his eyes slowly, blinking against the light filtering through the trees. Wait, light? Trees?

"Hide!" Kaneki's concerned face came into view.

"What?" He was laying against something hard. He started sitting up and Kaneki rushed to help him. "Where?"

"The forest." Kaneki's one hand rushed to his face, touching is forehead, his chin, his cheek. "How do you feel?"

Hide didn't answer, confused. Kaneki wasn't supposed to be in the forest… He looked away from Kaneki's face and down his body. He gasped and flushed, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment.

"What? Oh my god. What's going on?" He was so very confused.

Kaneki was silent for a second before answering. "I don't know myself." His voice was troubled.

Hide sighed. "Okay. Okay. Okay. Go into my bag. There are some spare clothes in there. Would you please put them on?"

Kaneki hesitated before following Hide's request. "Oh yeah, if we are going to the city I guess I need to look normal…" He forgot about that in his panic.

Hide almost laughed. "Yeah, except that's not the problem her – wait. The city?"

He heard some rustling as Kaneki dressed. "Take a look at yourself, Hide. You need to get your wounds looked after."

Hide sighed. "I guess you're right. Pass my bag to me once you are done." He finally opened his eyes once he felt the rough fabric touch his hand. He reached down to open up the bag with both hands. He stopped and starred at his missing pinkie and the bloodied strip of cloth that once belonged to his shirt bandaging it.

He felt a gentle hand on his wrist, followed by one on his chin, lifting it so he looked into Kaneki's eyes. They were extremely sad. "I'm sorry." His thumb traced circles on his wrist.

Hide sighed, just happy to be safe and with Kaneki. He brought his right hand to Kaneki's cheek. "I am too."

Kaneki inclined his head. "Why would you be sorry?"

"I… hurt you. More than once. I've only caused trouble for you. How can you not hate me?" Hide's voice was trembling by the time he was finished talking.

Kaneki gawked at Hide before bursting into something akin to a chuckle. "You're really an idiot sometimes." A smile still on his lips, he said quietly, "No matter how much trouble you get me into, I don't think I could ever hate you."

Hide looked surprised. "You call me an idiot… what the hell are you sorry for?"

Kaneki's smile lowered into a frown as his gaze dropped back down to Hide's bandaged hand. "I got you involved in my world. I put you in danger and now you're hurt because of it."

Hide let out an aggravated sound making Kaneki jump. "I made the choice to get involved. I was the one who pushed my way into your life. You have nothing to blame yourself for." He held his injured hand in front of Kaneki's face. "This? This isn't your fault. Get over it."

Kaneki's eye twitched. "Get over it, huh? I think I could say the same thing to you." He gave Hide a sharp look which made him squirm.

"Okay," Hide relented.

Kaneki smiled and rested his head against Hide's shoulder. "Good." He inhaled, breathing in Hide's scent. Hide brought his hand to the back of Kaneki's head, stroking his hair. He mumbled into Hide's chest, "What did you need the bag for?"

"I need to make sure I have enough money to go visit a doctor." He reached over to the bag, struggling with only one hand.

"Here." Kaneki lightly brushed Hide's hand away. "Tell me what to do." He opened the bag and waited for orders.

"There should be another zipper on the inside, in the front of the bag." Hide waited until he saw Kaneki open it. "There should be coins and bills in there. Can you pull out the contents and show them to me?"

Kaneki held them out to Hide, who carefully counted the amount.

Kaneki looked at him with apprehension. "So…?"

"It will be enough. I know about this one guy. He looks after things for cheap and doesn't ask any questions as long as we don't either."

"We should get moving then." Kaneki reluctantly stood up, picking awkwardly at his clothes.

He looked uncomfortable, Hide noted, but the clothes did fit him quite well. That was only further proven when Kaneki bent down to put the money in the backpack and picked it up, throwing it on his back. Hide adverted his eyes before Kaneki turned back around.

"Here." Kaneki knelt down, looping one arm under Hide's legs and the other around his shoulders. "Hang on."

Hide seized the back of Kaneki's shirt as he was lifted. He was surprised someone as slight as Kaneki could so easily carry him. His legs dangled and he felt a pain dart up his right leg at the small movement. Hide's arms tightened around Kaneki's neck and his face paled.

"You okay?" Kaneki's voice caressed Hide's ear.

"Yeah. Let's just get going." His voice was tight with pain. He pulled himself tighter to Kaneki's chest and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the motion of Kaneki's breathing rather than the pain.

After a couple of hours Hide noticed Kaneki swaying somewhat. "Do you need to take a break?"

"Yeah. Sorry." Kaneki slowed his walk to a stop, looking for a suitable and dry place to put Hide down. "I'm not used to walking."

Hide nodded and tried not to wince when Kaneki set him down. Kaneki felt a little angry with himself. He already had to take a break before, in which Hide woke up. Hide didn't mind it. The break from the aching, swaying motion was a relief.

It was another hour before they reached the edge of the city. Kaneki stopped on the border, amazed at the tall buildings.

He felt Hide pat his neck. "Put me down. I want to try hopping."

Kaneki cautiously lowered Hide until his left foot touched down, his right arm still around Kaneki's shoulders. Kaneki slid his hand around Hide's waist and pulled him tight, still trying to carry as much of Hide's weight as he could. Hide gave a tentative hop and grimaced.

"Okay, let's go." He hopped forward, Kaneki let him direct them. "We are going into the slums. Give me the backpack, I need to make sure no one steals from us." Kaneki unwillingly handed the extra weight to him. "It isn't far."

Kaneki ducked his head, ignoring the people milling around him. It made him uncomfortable. It seemed to take forever to get to a tight back alley, Kaneki wincing every time he heard Hide grunt in pain. Hide raised his bad hand to knock on a rusty, metal door before he stopped and looked expectantly at Kaneki.

An older man opened the door, peering outside suspiciously.

"Dr. Kanou?" Hide cleared his throat. "Sorry, you don't know us… but I heard you looked after injures?"

Kanou smiled. "Sure. I'm always willing to take new patients. Payment must be in advance."

Hided nodded. "We have money in the bag."

"Well then, come on in." The door swung open, welcoming Hide and Kaneki.

A familiar smell wafted through the door, making Kaneki's heart stop. He shook his head. No, there was no way she could be here. He helped Hide the best he could as they followed the doctor, remembering what Hide said about asking questions. He kept his mouth shut and tried not to look around at the walls. Opposed to the outside of the building, all the walls were very clean. A chemical smell was dominant.

Kanou led them into a small room with a single metal cart in the center and some storage on the sides. He motioned for Hide to get on the cart. Kaneki helped him up. Hide got Kaneki to open the bag and the inside zipper. Hide took out some money and showed it to the Kanou.

The doctor took the money from Hide and counted it before nodding. "I'll look after you. Let's get that hand taken care of first." He opened a cabinet and got a few things out.

He disinfected the wound and took out a small needle, injecting the injured area with a solution.

"While that numbs I'll look at your leg."

...

The doctor ended up being kind enough to give Hide a spare pair of crutches he had. Hide used them, but Kaneki still hovered worriedly making sure he didn't fall. He trekked forward, further into the city.

"Where are we going?" Kaneki was glancing around nervously.

"Hotel." Hide mumbled, not turning around.

Kaneki followed in silence, expecting more of an answer. When he didn't get one he sighed, but didn't say anything. He followed Hide and found that the city was gradually getting… cleaner? It seemed so. The people were also dressed in what looked like much softer cloths. Where ever they were going, Kaneki was just glad the crowd and the bad smell were dissipating.

He trailed Hide in a large building. Hide limped to a man behind a desk, speaking to him briefly before sliding some money to him in exchange for a key.

Kaneki looked around the room. It was really beautiful. It had a tall ceiling and the walls were a dark shade of blue and were dimly lit.

"Kaneki." Hide was gripping his arm, making him aware he was gaping. He flushed. "Come on."

He followed Hide down a dark hallway until he stopped at a door, fumbling with the single key, trying to get it in the lock. He opened the door and motioned for Kaneki to go inside. He locked the door behind them, throwing the key on a nearby table.

"I got this room for two days. After that we need to go back to the slums so I can get more money." He took a seat in a chair and pulled the shoe off his unbandaged foot. "Help me out, would you?"

"Right." Kaneki helped Hide undress to his boxes, revealing a few bruises on his body.

Hide put a hand on Kaneki's shoulder, using it to help himself up, not noticing Kaneki's wince. He hopped over to the bathroom. "I'll tell you once I'm done so you can get cleaned up too."

Kaneki nodded and waited. He was lucky. His wounds from the match in the arena were already healing and not bleeding anymore. But still, they hurt. He dropped his shirt to the floor, like Hide had done. He was about to remove his pants too when he remembered Hide's embarrassed expression and decided to keep them on, despite how uncomfortable they were.

The bathroom door opened. "Alright, I'm – " Hide's eyes went to the hole in Kaneki's shoulder to the slash across his chest. "Shit. I – why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"

Kaneki shrugged. "It wasn't important."

"The fuck do you mean it wasn't –" Hide sighed. "It's important to me. Doesn't it hurt?"

"A little." Kaneki stood and walked into the bathroom. "Hmm."

Hide sighed again. "You really do know next to nothing." He hoped over to the tub, plugging the drain and turning on the water. "Come here." He motioned to the two taps. "This one is hot water. This one is cold water. Turn them clockwise to turn them on to adjust the temperature." He tossed a bottle to Kaneki. "Put that in your hair to wash it. You can wash your body with it too. Any questions?"

Kaneki examined the room and then examined Hide. "No."

"Call if you need anything." Hide turned off the taps and left Kaneki to himself. Fifteen minutes later he emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, like Hide did.

"That was quick." Hide remarked. "Where are your clothes? We need to wash them for tomorrow."

...

An hour later the clothes were washed and the sun was setting. Hide got Kaneki to do the work. The washing, the rinsing, hanging the clothes up, but it wasn't like he could do it himself.

The hotel room had two beds. Kaneki in one, Hide in the other. Hide was instantly asleep, snoring lightly. The day was draining for him. Kaneki was feeling rather drained as well, but his troubled thoughts wouldn't let him go to sleep.

What happened?

Why could he walk?

Who was he?

What was he?

Did this mean he could stay with Hide forever?

Who was that doctor?

And why did it smell faintly like his mother in his lab?


	10. I Really Like You

Kaneki wasn't putting the shirt on until he absolutely had to. Hide laughed at him, but he still wasn't changing his mind.

Right then Hide was getting ready in the bathroom and Kaneki was sitting on the edge of his bed, fiddling with the knife he picked up from the ocean floor.

"You still have that?" Hide was standing to his right, now fully dressed.

Kaneki ran his fingertip along the face of the knife. "Yeah. It makes me feel better to."

"Well you better leave it here today. Where we're going they don't appreciate weapons." Hide picked at his shirt nervously.

Kaneki placed the knife down on the bed carefully. He pulled on his shirt and stood. "Let's go."

"Hang on." Hide came closer and brought his hands up to Kaneki's hair, smoothing it out so it looked decent. "Okay, now we can go."

Kaneki raised his eyebrows at Hide's smirk and thrust his crutches into his arms.

Kaneki walked slowly behind Hide, who was maneuvering through the crowd. The mass of people bothered Kaneki, but he was getting used to it. But, by the time they reached the slums Kaneki was feeling cluster phobic. He pressed his lips together and reached out, allowing his hand to brush the back of Hide's shirt. The faint warmth from his body helped calm him.

"We will be there soon." Hide gave him a comforting look, making Kaneki nod.

They came up to a door much like the doctor's. Hide used his good hand to knock. The door was opened by a burly man who grinned once he saw Hide.

"You're back." He scrutinized Hide's appearance. "I'm not surprised someone did that to you after you cleaned out this place."

Hide laughed and pulled out his remaining money. "Yeah, yeah. Speaking of cleaning out this place, is there a game going on?"

The man shook his head and sighed. "Yes, there is." He looked behind Hide at Kaneki. "Who's the kid?"

"A friend. He won't be playing."

"Hmmm. He looks pretty timid for a bodyguard. He's skinny too. Think he can handle it?"

Hide rolled his eyes. "Can I play or not?"

"Yes. Come in." The man opened the door and ushered them inside, leading them into a dimly lit room that smelled heavily of cigars and alcohol.

A group of men were sitting around a large, round table. Many were smoking, some drinking and some looking anxiously at the others. A well-dressed man was off to the side shuffling a deck of cards.

"One more," said the burly man before closing the door to the room behind them. Kaneki felt suffocated and trapped and definitely did not want to be in that room. What the hell had Hide got him into?

Some of the men grumbled when they saw Hide and shot him dirty looks. He grinned back at them as if he didn't notice and pulled up a seat to the table. Kaneki stood behind him, like he saw some other men standing behind others.

Across the table he saw a man with a full beard chuckle as he puffed out smoke, looking directly at Kaneki. Behind him stood a man just a little smaller than the one that greeted them at the door. Kaneki swallowed.

The burly man came back into the room. "Okay, that's it. Let's get the game on, shall we?"

There was a mumbled sound and a few people nodded their heads. He saw the burly man walk behind the big man behind the bearded fellow. The big man made an annoyed face as he put his arm out to the side and was patted down. Kaneki didn't blame him. He didn't like people touching him, unless it was Hide. When the burly man came around to him he stuck his arms out and gritted his teeth.

"Well, now that that is done, we can officially get started." Cards were handed out to everyone at the table.

Kaneki couldn't understand what exactly was going on. Hide was his usual attentive self and it seemed to make people uncomfortable. His eyes widened when he saw money being placed on the table.

A few more moves and some people began to drop out, until it was only Hide and the bearded man left. He was giving a dirty look to Hide, but Hide seemed unaffected. The last of the money was handed over to Hide.

The man jumped up. "You dirty… you cheated! Didn't you!?" The other men grumbled and glared at Hide as well. The man looked ready to hurdle over the table and strangle Hide.

Hide pursed his lips. "No. You just have a bad poker face." He sighed. "Kaneki, let's go."

"You're not going anywhere until you confess!" He gave a hard, meaningful look to the man behind him.

The burly man moved in his way. "Hey now. Everybody calm – " The big man suddenly threw a punch at him, making him duck and break off from his sentence. He grabbed the man's arm and attempted to wrestle him down to the ground. They knocked into the table. Various other people were looking uncomfortable and filing out of the room, worried about getting injured in the fight.

The bearded man growled, "Damn. Do I have to do everything myself?" He reached down and dug in his boot for something. Kaneki's heard a click and a switchblade was in the man's hand. It seemed the burly man missed the weapon during the pat down.

Hide baulked. "Shit…"

He stalked around the table. Hide stood, shrinking away, but Kaneki moved forward, in front of Hide.

"…Kaneki!"

The man lurched forward with the knife, aiming for Kaneki's chest. Kaneki looked at him distastefully. Compared to the young boy in the arena, this man's moves were slower and much sloppier. Did he actually expect to kill him with that? He must not have had much experience.

Kaneki reached out and caught the man's arm by the wrist, holding it in place. "Apologize."

The man yanked at his arm, trying to free it. "W-what?"

Kaneki glared and tightened his grip. He heard a crack and the man let out a strangled cry. "He didn't cheat. Apologize."

The man's knife fell from his hand and hit the ground. The metal clank sounded loud in the quiet room. "I-I'm sorry."

"Good." Kaneki threw the man's arm back to him. He turned and touched Hide's shoulder.

Hide nodded and turned to leave the room with Kaneki. He kept quiet and kept his eyes on the ground. Kaneki on the other hand, had his head up and alert for any other attacks.

There were none. They walked in silence back to the hotel. Not a word passed between them on the whole way. When they reached to the hotel, Hide paid the desk for another two days. Kaneki hovered behind him, only relaxing once they were in the safety of their own room.

As soon as the door closed, Hide turned to Kaneki, looking apprehensive.

He seemed angry. "You could have warned me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think it would turn out that way. It never has before." Hide bit his lip and stared at the wall, avoiding the heat of Kaneki's gaze.

"But, you knew there was a chance it could have." Kaneki's voice was calm.

"I –"

"Yet you egged them on! Why Hide?!" His voice noticeably rose. "Was it because I was there? Because I was your bodyguard? What the hell?! What were you trying to prove?"

"No. Kaneki." His wounded expression hurt Hide. "I'm… sorry. I got carried away. You aren't my bodyguard. It's just… I – that game, poker – I'm really good at it. I guess… I really just wanted to show off to you. You can do all this amazing stuff. You're really strong. And you saved my life. And I'm just… me." Hide took a deep breath. "I'm not special. And I… I wanted to prove to you that I could do some amazing stuff too." Hide exhaled and felt his eyes prickle. He wondered how mad Kaneki was. Hide put them in such a dangerous situation, and for something so stupid.

When Kaneki spoke again, his voice was softer. "Idiot." He stepped forward and rested his forehead on Hide's shoulder. He really did like to do that. "I already know how amazing you are. You don't have run around and do senseless stuff like that. What the hell would I do if you got hurt…?"

Hide smiled. "You like me that much, huh?"

Kaneki scowled. "Don't be a jerk." His face relaxed when he felt one of Hide's hands run down his back. He sighed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay. If I do something bad feel free to do it again." There was a teasing note in Hide's voice.

Kaneki's chest shook as he laughed. It was really nice, to be there with Hide. Kaneki didn't know the last time he had been quiet so happy, or the last time his life was so complicated. Hide was the catalyst for all of that. He was so glad he met him. He was so glad he got the chance to be with him, with their arms loosely wrapped around each other and with his nose pressed into Hide's neck, inhaling his uniquely sweet scent. The way Hide's gentle hands could never seem to stay still, going from his hair, to his back and to his face. The way his hot breath sounded in his ear. The warmth of his body. These were all things Kaneki never wanted to give up.

"What are you thinking about?" Hide whispered.

Kaneki sighed. "…you."

Hide stiffened before pulling Kaneki tighter to his body. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Hide's voice sounded deeper when it asked the next question. "What about me?"

Kaneki squirmed in his arms and lift his head from Hide's shoulder, embarrassed.

Hide gave a small smile, remembering his promise to not be so mean. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Kaneki hummed and rested his head on Hide again. He flushed heavily as Hide waited for his answer. He thought about his words carefully before giving it. "That I really like this… that I really like you." His hands curled in Hide's shirt and he buried his face deeper into Hide's neck.

Hide turned so his mouth was right next to Kaneki's ear. His right hand brushed by the hair at the nape of his neck. "Kaneki?"

He didn't answer, fearing what his voice could sound like. Hide carefully trailed his hand down to his chin, turning and lifting his head toward him so that their noses were almost touching. Kaneki could feel a tingling sensation as Hide's breath warmed his lips.

Hide looked into his eyes. "I really like you too." He held Kaneki's chin and ever so slowly closed the distance between them.

Kaneki could have pulled away if he wanted to. Hide gave him more than enough time. But he didn't, he didn't want to pull away. He loved the way he felt when he was with Hide and couldn't help but want more than he already had.

Hide's lips pressed up against Kaneki's. It was only for a second and Hide drew away to see the flustered expression on Kaneki's face. Kaneki trembled and licked his lips.

"Did you like that too?"

Kaneki didn't answer, instead, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to Hide's one more time, far less gentle than Hide had been. He felt Hide's lips quirk into a smile under his as he kissed back, moving their lips together. Hide brought his hand from Kaneki's chin to his cheek, cupping it as Kaneki's eyes slid closed.

Eventually Kaneki had to pull away, out of breath. Hide brought his lips to his jaw. Kaneki could feel them twitching as he struggled not to laugh. "I'll take that as a yes."


	11. Talk to Me

Nico eyed the large man up. Not bad. He had a strong body and aura. This was the man Uta sent him to? He tried not to swoon. He followed him slowly in the water, to his area. That was his special place, and Nico was lucky enough to join him there. Indeed, he was very, very lucky. His gaze followed the man's to a bound merman. He was chained, head just above the water. Lines, ripples and bumps on his skin revealed almost healed scars from the latest session. The man cracked his fingers out of eagerness and stalked forward. The merman moaned, crying softly.

"Please… please… no. Please… just kill me…" His sobbing continued and his face twisted in agony. Yet, the pain hadn't even started. Not for this round anyway.

The man started immediately, pulling out his human materials and showing them off to the merman. The screaming started soon after. Nico realized why the man choose to leave the merman's head out of the water. The screams were lovely sounds to his ears.

He wanted to hear more. He wanted to see more. The knobby ends of lost fingers and toes. The delicious cracking of bones when you exerted just the right force in just the right place. The fresh smell of blood. Skin being peeled away from tissue and muscle. The sight of abject fear as the victim experienced these things too. That was the best part.

Nico licked his lips. More. He needed more. And this man could give it to him.

But, he had to bide his time. He wondered when Uta would give him permission to tell the man about him. Truly, that boy would be able to satisfy his desire far more than the victim in front of him. But he had to wait. He had to wait.

Waiting was so damn hard. But… a blush darted across his cheeks. For now, this was enough.

...

Kaneki restlessly picked at the end of his blanket. He was a little disappointed. He glanced anxiously over to Hide who laid in his own bed. Hide had been reading to Kaneki again, like he had back at the lagoon. Teaching him letters and smiling when Kaneki asked questions. At some point Kaneki ended up lying down with his head cradled in Hide's lap. He eventually fell asleep, with the feeling of Hide's hand in his hair. Though, the next thing Kaneki could remember was being slightly jostled as Hide tried to move stealthily to his own mattress. He wasn't very stealthy. Kaneki glanced over again. He pulled the blanket closer to him. It wasn't that he was cold. No, he was warm. But it wasn't the same warmth.

He heard springs creak as Hide rolled over on his mattress. His half-lidded, sleepy eyes met Kaneki's. Kaneki ducked his head down, embarrassed at being caught staring, and with such a longing expression too. He pulled his blankets over his face, giving it a few seconds before he peeked over the edge of them. Hide was still looking at him, a bemused expression on his face. Kaneki squeaked and flushed a bright red.

He heard Hide laugh as he lifted his blankets up. "Hurry up. It's cold."

Kaneki scrambled off his bed and crawled into Hide's, hastily pulling the blankets down behind him. He felt fingers lightly trace along his waist, making their way to the small of his back. Hide pulled gently and Kaneki quickly obliged. Kaneki ducked his head, expecting to be drawn into Hide's chest. However, as soon as Kaneki began his movement towards Hide, Hide directed him up a little higher, so that they were facing each other. Hide pressed his forehead against Kaneki's. Kaneki flushed, anticipating more.

But, there wasn't. Kaneki's eyes remained opened, but Hide's closed, a teasing smile touching his lips. Kaneki frowned and closed his eyes too. It would probably be better if he got some sleep. If he started anything he would get too worked up to fall asleep for a while.

...

Hide woke up with a face full of hair. Kaneki's back was pressed against Hide's. He could feel his chest move as he inhaled and exhaled as he silently slept. Hide untangled his legs from Kaneki's and kissed his neck softly before getting up. When he turned to leave the side of the bed, he felt a tug on his pants leg, Kaneki's fingers loosely grabbing it.

"Are you going somewhere?" Kaneki's question was an earnest one, interest not hidden in his sleepy tone of voice.

Hide smiled and grabbed a hold of Kaneki's hand. "Just to get ready and get some breakfast… do you want to come?"

Kaneki groaned. "Yes." God knows Hide would get into trouble of some sort.

Hide chuckled and brought their joined hands to Kaneki's chest. "There's no need to rush. You can still sleep for a while longer." Kaneki started sitting up. "Or not."

Kaneki looked around, vision blurry, for his shirt. Hide handed to him and Kaneki nodded gratefully. He fumbled with the blanket, fighting to get it off.

Hide sighed. "You're hopeless." He helped Kaneki disentangle himself from the blankets. Kaneki flushed as he sat up, ruffling his hair.

He looked at Kaneki, all drowsy, red in the cheeks, and just so adorable. He just couldn't help himself. He sneaked in a quick smooch on Kaneki's cheek. He pulled back quickly, surprised at how delayed Kaneki's reaction was. Kaneki touched his cheek lightly. While he was distracted, Hide went to the other cheek, then to his nose and finally to his forehead. Kaneki brought his trembling hands to Hide's face, halting his movement. He pressed his lips firmly against Hide's before releasing him. He was only frozen for a second before he started moving, hastily leaving Kaneki breathless.

Kaneki's whole body shook, hands tangled in Hide's hair. "I should… I should probably get ready."

Hide hummed. "Yeah." He pressed his lips to Kaneki's again, enjoying the man's reactions.

"H-Hide."

"Damn." Hide settled for one last kiss on Kaneki's jaw. "Okay." He reluctantly pulled away, allowing Kaneki to dress. Since he seemed incapable of fixing his hair, Hide did it for him.

They left the house a while later, after Kaneki had finally stopped dragging his feet. They went around the streets, stopping at the various stalls that were set up. Hide picked up his breakfast immediately, eating as they went to the various stalls. He was moving without his crutches now, but he still had a very distinct limp. Every once in a while he would stumble and Kaneki would reach out to catch him, even though he never needed to.

"Hey, Kaneki?" Hide was stopped by a stall, adjourned with various knifes. He was holding up a light brown sheath. "Do you like it? For your knife?"

Kaneki stepped forward, taking the soft leather in his hands. It seemed about the right size. But, he had to make sure. He pulled the knife out of his pocket, making Hide jump.

"You brought it with you!?" Kaneki looked at the people buzzing in the streets. Some noted the knife in his hands, but they didn't seem to react at all like Hide did. It was a city made of fishermen, it wasn't unusual for someone to be carrying around a knife.

Kaneki slid it into the sheath, making sure it fit. It did. Kaneki smiled up at Hide. Hide chuckled and handed over some money to the man running the stall.

"Okay, okay. Come on." He pulled on Kaneki's hand, directing him over to another stall. He picked at a blue sweater, before holding it up in front of Kaneki.

"What-?"

"Stay still." Hide scolded, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes. "Hmm." He paid for the sweater without his eyes leaving Kaneki. "I'm all done. Want to head back to hotel?"

Kaneki nodded. He always preferred when it was just him and Hide. Other people made him uncomfortable. They cut through an alley on the way back. Kaneki was surprised they weren't alone in the alley. There was a man with white hair walking towards them. As they passed Kaneki felt the knife shift in his pocket. His hand shot down and grabbed the white-haired man's forearm as it held his knife.

"Uh-oh." The man's musical voice rang out. "I've been caught."

Hide turned and his eyes widened. "Hey! You're-!"

The white-haired man wasn't paying attention to either of them. Instead, his eyes were focused on the knife in his hand. "Hey." His eyes lifted to Kaneki's. "Tell me where you got this."

"Huh?" Kaneki jerked the knife out of the man's hand.

Hide glared at the man. "That's none of your business. Kaneki. Let's go."

Kaneki glanced back at the man who continued staring at him. He shuddered, and checked over his shoulder every few minutes to make sure they weren't being followed.

Hide's hand brushed against his. "You okay?"

Kaneki nodded. "Yeah. Yeah." He sighed. "I just – that guy gave me a weird feeling." He shook his head. "You seemed to know him?"

Hide laughed and rubbed his neck. "I've run into him before. I – how should I say it? I ran into him and we kind of… both pick pocked each other."

"Oh." Kaneki blinked before shaking his head. He looked behind him again. That man made him really uneasy… almost like he met him somewhere before.

"Ka-ne-ki!" Hide's hands shook his shoulders. "Snap out of it!"

"What?" He was standing in front of their room, the door open and welcoming. Hide gave him a concerned look. Kaneki headed into the room, laying his new sweater down on the bed, putting his knife on top of it. "Do you mind if I take a bath?"

"No, go ahead." Hide took off his shoes and massaged his sore ankle.

Kaneki nodded and closed the door behind him. He filled the tub with warm water and slid in. He sighed, a familiar, relaxing feeling overcoming him. He pulled his knees into his chest and rested his head on them. After a while, the water cooled down, but Kaneki still didn't leave the tub.

He missed the lagoon. He missed Touka and Hinami and Nishio. It was so stupid. He hardly knew them at all, but he couldn't forget their kindness. He missed the ocean and everything that came with it. He felt so selfish. He already had so much, and he was so happy to be with Hide, but the ocean was where he was born. How could he not miss it?

There was a knock at the door. "Kaneki? Are you okay?"

"…yes." Kaneki noticed his voice sounded weird, too thick.

Hide shifted outside the door. "Are you sure?"

Kaneki didn't answer. Instead, he pulled his knees closer to his body and bit his lip. He didn't know why he was crying, but he couldn't stop. He heard himself let out a sob and quickly covered him mouth, hoping Hide wouldn't hear him.

He did. "I'm coming in." He opened the door and made his way over to Kaneki, who had one hand covering his mouth and the other over his eyes. "…hey." Hide touched Kaneki's shoulder, rubbing a circle with his thumb. "What's wrong? He knelt by the side of the tub, waited for Kaneki's response.

Kaneki shook his head.

Hide touched the hand covering his eyes. "Please, don't cover your face." Kaneki allowed Hide to move his hands and reveal his red eyes and trembling lips. "Why are you crying?"

Kaneki would have covered his face again if Hide wasn't hold his hands in his own. "It's stupid."

"Even if it is, I would like to know." Hide spoke soothingly.

Kaneki pursed his lips, unsure of how tell Hide. How would it make him feel? Kaneki didn't want to hurt him.

Hide sighed and rested his head against Kaneki's. "We can go back to the lagoon tomorrow."

He felt Kaneki freeze and look up at him in surprise.

Hide laughed. "We will make the trip tomorrow. As long as you're up for it."

Kaneki looked at Hide in awe. "H-how did you know…?"

"Well you have been sitting in a tub filled with water for the past two hours." He kissed Kaneki at the corner of his eye. "Now, would you please stop hiding in here? If you're upset about something, I don't care how stupid you think it is, I want you to talk to me, okay?"

Kaneki nodded and brushed his lips against Hide's. "Okay."


	12. Countdown

Hide held Kaneki's hand as they walked through the forest. He pulled and held branches out of the way so they wouldn't swing and hit Kaneki in the face. Hide looked back and smiled, noticing Kaneki's anxious expression.

"Are you nervous?" Hide squeezed his hand.

"I'm just worried. I don't know – I don't want someone to be there."

"If there is, we can leave." Hide nodded to himself and moved forward.

Kaneki was worried Tsukiyama would be there. Either alive, or dead, he didn't want to see him. If he was dead, then that meant he had killed him, which was something Kaneki didn't want to be responsible for. If he was alive, he would still be in danger, Hide too. There was no good option.

No, there was. He could have never gone back to the lagoon. He could have denied the homesickness that twisted in his gut. He could have thrown his past life away and started a new one with Hide. He tried to mix his two worlds and they clashed.

It would have been better if wasn't so weak to his desires.

The lagoon came into view, as beautiful as ever. Kaneki caught Hide stripping out of the corner of his eye.

"What are you doing?" He asked, confused.

Hide threw his shirt off into the sand. "Well, you still haven't finished teaching me how to swim yet!" He bounded across the sand.

"HIDE!" Kaneki cried. How could he even want to go back in the water after all that had happened?

"Hurry up! I need you to help me keep my hand above the water!" Hide threw off his pants and ran into the shallow water.

Kaneki rushed up, grabbing Hide's arm. "Hide. Please get out – what if…?"

"Kaneki. There's no one here. It won't hurt to go for a little swim. We can always get out… Please?" Hide was worried about Kaneki. He knew it would make him feel better to spend some time in water. He didn't want to see him cry again.

Kaneki hesitantly removed his clothes as Hide politely looked away and joined him in the water. They went out deeper, so that Kaneki had to stand on the tips of his toes to keep his head above the water. He assisted Hide mostly in keeping his bandaged hand above the water. Hide was getting pretty good at floating.

A wave unexpectedly brought them further into the water, making Kaneki unable to touch the bottom and forcing him to kick his legs to keep the two of them afloat. As soon as he began kicking he felt a strange, oddly familiar sensation shoot up his legs.

"Hide!" Kaneki panicked, realizing what had happened.

Hide immediately stopped what he was doing and looked at Kaneki. "What?"

His eyes were wide. "I – Let's go back."

"Huh? But, we just –"

"Hide, please." Kaneki saw him nod and they moved back towards the shore. Kaneki kept Hide's hand above the water the whole time. It was much easier while having a tail.

Hide's eyes widened when he saw Kaneki had his tail back. "Seriously?"

Kaneki was paling considerably. "Why? I don't get it! I don't know what's happening to me!"

When they got back into the shallower water, Hide put his hands on either side of Kaneki's face. "It's okay." He could see the man's rising hysteria. "We will figure it out, okay?" When Kaneki didn't answer him, he stroked his jaw. "Kaneki? Okay?"

The man nodded, looking upset and very confused. He allowed Hide to guide him the rest of the way to the shore, before they stopped in the knee deep water. Hide brushed his fingertips over his cheeks, trying to calm him. Kaneki looked like he was about to cry again. Hide gathered him into his arms, lightly rocking him back and forth until he reclaimed his composure.

"H-Hide, I-I can't." Kaneki's bottom lip trembled, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

Hide silenced him with his lips. He pressed them roughly against Kaneki's, forcing him to break off from his line of thought. Kaneki's arms slipped around him, holding onto him as if his life depended on it. Hide continued kissing him until he felt Kaneki relax.

"Better?"

Kaneki nodded and grabbed Hide's hair, pulling him down. The feeling of Kaneki's hand roughly tugging on his hair made Hide moan into the next kiss. He felt Kaneki shudder in response to the sound, fingers tightening and drawing him even closer. Hide decided to try something new. He traced Kaneki's lips with his tongue. The different sensation made the other man jump and gasp, allowing Hide to deepen the kiss. He pushed his tongue against Kaneki's, enjoying the feeling. He could tell Kaneki did too, with the way he was trembling and arching his body against Hide's. He felt Kaneki timidly press his tongue forward and he drew his back, allowing Kaneki to explore his mouth. Unfortunately, Kaneki was running out of breath and had to withdraw rather soon. Too soon for both their liking. Hide planted one last kiss on Kaneki's collarbone as Kaneki whipped away the saliva that had dripped down his chin.

"I want to… try and see if I can…" Kaneki seemed unsure of himself, but his face hardened in concentration. He stayed unmoving for a few minutes before sighing in frustration. It seemed he couldn't will his legs to reappear.

It was going to be dark in a few hours. Hide didn't bring any supplies with them. It seemed like it was going to be a cold night...

"Hide? I want you to go back to town."

Hide looked up in shock. "Why?"

"It's going to be cold… and I don't want you to –"

Hide glared at him. "Then what about you? It's not like you can't feel the cold –"

"Except I don't get sick. You do. And with your injuries you need to keep your strength up." Kaneki glared back at him. "I'll be okay."

"But…"

"Hide." Kaneki looked off to the horizon. "There are some people I would like to go visit."

Hide blinked, surprised. He internally cursed, not having thought of the relations Kaneki might have with other people. "Are they… friends?"

Kaneki smiled. "Something like that. They are really kind, and they have really helped me out. I'll be fine."

Hide's face relaxed and he pressed his lips to Kaneki's before turning to leave, shouting over his shoulder, "You had better be here when I get back!"

Kaneki chuckled and began making his journey towards the cave.

...

"I heard you did a number on Tsukiyama." Touka was leaning against a rock, looking at the dark ceiling. "Didn't know you had that in you."

Kaneki laughed nervously. He didn't even get a proper greeting from her. "H-hello."

She swam over and poked experimentally at his ribs. "You don't look very strong." He wanted to push her hand away, but he didn't know how she would react. "Why are you here anyway?"

Kaneki smiled wryly. "I promised Hinami I would tell her a story again."

"Hmm. Fine. I'll go get her."

...

It was time. Uta had given him the go. Nico was able to tell Yamori about the boy and where to find him. He couldn't wait to see the new toy. He shuddered in pleasure. He wondered what kind of screams the boy would make.

...

He had to admit, he felt better after seeing them. He was happy to have visited Hinami, hell he was even happy to see Nishio and Touka. He almost felt glad he grew his tail back, but as soon as he thought of Hide that feeling dissipated. If he lived in the water, he couldn't stay with Hide the way he wanted to.

He swam towards the lagoon, worried that he would never change and be able to walk on land again. He fretted over it, about what he could try to do. Could he try to willfully turn them, like he had tried to before? No, that failed. Maybe if he went up on land they would appear? Maybe if he tried to use his tail like legs they would appear?

Because he was fretting, Kaneki wasn't paying attention. He didn't notice the thick, bloodthirsty aura until it was almost upon him. By then, it was far too late for him to react. He felt an impact to his face, causing his vision to blur. It was a few seconds before pain hit him. He tasted blood.

He didn't have his knife. It was still in his sweater pocket.

He frantically tried to swim away and escape his attacker. It was no use. As soon as he turned a hand grabbed his tail, clawed fingers digging into flesh, tearing it. Kaneki's eyes bulged and struggled, but that only made the pain worse. The more he moved, the more mangled his tail was getting. But, he had to keep struggling. If he didn't, then how would he get away?

Dark spots filled Kaneki's vision. Too much blood. He lost too much…

...

He awoke in the water, head held above the waves, air rasping its way down his throat. Where was he? He was no longer in pain anymore and that meant… someone had fed him. It was dark… maybe he was in the cave? Did Touka help him again?

No.

It was not the darkness of the cave. When he began to come to he could faintly see the outline of jagged rocks surrounding him and the starry sky above him. He was outside. He could taste the fresh air. He could also feel the cold, metal chains that bound his arms and kept him from moving and the rough rock behind him that rubbed his back raw.

He ran his tongue along his teeth, tasting the blood that still lingered in his mouth.

He didn't understand what was going on.

"You're finally awake?" He lifted his eyes to see a faint figure outlined by the moon's light. "I will go get him. Then, it can finally start." He saw the man dive down into the water, disappearing and leaving him all alone.

He pulled at the chains binding him, but to no avail. They would not budge. He turned his head and got a closer look at them. They were attached to the rock wall behind him. But their fixation wasn't what his eyes focused on. What he saw behind him was a wall of blood. The waves in the water didn't reach high enough to wash away the blood that had splattered on the wall. It dried there, like some grotesque painting.

Kaneki panicked. He knew that couldn't all be his blood. No, there was layer upon layer of it. He frantically pulled on the chains, but only succeeded in rubbing his wrists raw. He whimpered. What was going to happen to him? What did that man mean when he said it could finally start? Who was the man going to get? Kaneki didn't want to find out. But, he had no choice. He had to wait, heart pounding.

Two figures emerged from the water, the man from before and one larger than him.

The large man smiled cruelly, cracking his fingers and introduced himself as Yamori.

"Well, Kaneki, how should we get started?" Yamori's voice drew out his name, and grew in intensity and loudness as he talked.

Kaneki shuddered, cringing back into the wall. How did he know his name? What was this Yamori going to do to him?

He was answered by a metallic sound of two objects being clanked together. His eyes shot to Yamori's hand which held a pair of pliers. He was snapping them together, grinning. He brought them close to Kaneki's face, snapping them just millimeters away from his nose. He leaned back into the rock, the jagged bits digging into the back of his head. He almost relaxed when the sound stopped and the pliers were taken away from his face.

He heard a crack and jumped, letting out a cry only a few seconds later, pain radiating from his right hand. His pinkie finger was bent at an odd angle at his first knuckle. He gasped air, eyes focused on his hand. The pliers moved slowly towards his pinky, making their snapping motion.

"N-No! Please! Don't!" He begged, tears beginning to flow down his face. "Stop!"

The pliers closed over the broken joint lightly, not clamping down yet. Yamori's voice filled his ears. "What's one thousand minus seven?"

Kaneki trembled, voice not working. The pliers snapped and Kaneki screamed, seeing part of his pinkie fall into the water below.


	13. Jason

Suzuya hummed, swinging his legs. Amon got used to his habit of sitting over the edge of the ship and stopped scolding him about it. Though, the constant swaying from the waves made him feel uneasy. He really didn't know how Suzuya had the stomach to do that. Amon felt nauseous as it was, even though he had been on the boat quite a bit in his life.

Shinohara was preparing a canon for fire. When it came time Amon would be the one loading it. Shinohara had better aim with the canon than he did. He could smell the gunpowder. It itched his nose. It was rare they used such equipment. But, this was a rather large operation. They seldom ever attacked nests of mermaids. Desperate times called for drastic measures. Far more people were going missing lately. The mermaids were responsible. They always were. They would make the monsters pay.

Suzuya sharpened his knifes carefully. A dull blade could get him killed. The moon light danced off the edge dangerously. He sheathed the blade in his shirt and pulled out the next one. It was a daunting, but important task. He paused and absentmindedly tugged at the stitches on his lip.

They would be at the hideout soon. Shinohara and Amon never wasted any time. The others stood on the ship, at the ready. Suzuya never bothered to learn their names. He didn't have time for people that were as weak and as easy to kill as them. Many of them would probably die in this raid.

From his time in the arena, Suzuya had highly enhanced senses. He pulled at his lip again. He was guessing the others on the ship could hear the terrified screams float over the water. At least he knew where his enemies were. He wasn't exactly the patient type. Maybe, he would get the chance to see that color he loved so much.

...

"One thousand."

Snap. Snap. Snap. Crunch.

"N-nine hundred…"

Twisting, pulling. Blood gushing.

"…ninety-three."

Screaming, howling. Crying.

"Nine hundred eighty-six."

Tears ran down his face.

"Nine hundred seventy-nine."

Twisted laughter. The sound grated at his ears.

"Nine hundred seventy-two."

A louder snap from a larger bone. He screamed.

What number was he on? What number was he on? If he messed up he would have to start over.

"Nine hundred sixty-five."

Good. Good. He could count down. When he was done counting it would end. But not really. There would always be another round. It wouldn't end. He knew what the numbers were for.

It wouldn't be much fun for Yamori if he fell unconscious too soon.

But, he continued counting down. It was the only thing he could focus on other than the horror.

"Eight hundred thirty-nine."

A sharp pain in his collarbone. Yamori poked the end of another screw over his bone. He picked up the screw driver. Twisting, twisting, and tearing. Ever so slowly into his body. Another. Another. Another.

Hide. Hide. Hide.

"Six hundred seventy-eight."

A knife cutting into his skin shallowly, deliberately, cutting portions. Lifting up the ends. Pulling. Skin rips away from flesh and muscle.

"Five hundred seventeen."

Kaneki could hardly hear the man speak. His head was pounding. Heart beating too fast, breathing rushing through cracked lips. The pain was too much. It was too much.

"Are you familiar with the land critters, Kaneki?" Kaneki looked towards Yamori, eyes blurry. His vision focused on a twisting, moving insect caught between Yamori's fingers.

His eyes widened. He only caught snippets of what was said next. "Centipede." "Ear."

"…no… no… please… no."

Yamori grabbed his chin, tilting his head to the side. The centipede loomed over him.

"Continue counting." Yamori ordered, forcing the centipede into the small crevice. A blindfold quickly went over Kaneki's face, covering his eyes, but he knew its true purpose was to keep the centipede trapped in his ear.

Rustle. Rustle.

Who was laughing? Who's hysterical, horse, sobbing laughs were those? Yamori joined in.

He wanted to die. He wanted him to just kill him. To just let him die.

...

Sometimes there were others. They came into feed him after Yamori was done. He ate the meat numbingly. He knew if he refused it they would just shove it down his throat. If they didn't do their job Yamori would do the same to them as what Yamori was doing to him. He couldn't blame them. The ones that came the most frequently were Banjou and Kei. They were the kindest. Kei would often talk of her child, Kouto. Kaneki sometimes smiled for their sake. It hurt them to see him, even though they didn't know him. Kaneki liked them.

One day, Yamori came early and saw one of his smiles at Kei. The next day, she was dragged into Yamori's area with her child, screaming.

"I want to try something new today," He said with a smile. "Choose." He ordered. "The mother or the child. Who will live?"

Kaneki trembled. "N-no. I-I can't."

Yamori grabbed him by the chin, shouting in his face. "Choose! Someone has to die!"

Choose. Choose. Choose. He had to choose. A mother or her child?

Kei desperately caught Kaneki's attention, mouthing the words, choose Kouta. Surely, that would be what a mother would want, her child to live on. But if he killed the mother, then the child… he remembered his own grief over losing his mother. It was too much. It was too painful. He couldn't. He couldn't.

Choose. Choose. Choose. Yamori cracked his fingers.

"If you have to kill someone, kill me!" Kaneki cried. He couldn't. Let them live. End his torment.

Yamori glared at him. "Fine then." He picked Kouta up by the neck, squeezing until a crack was heard. Kaneki heard Kei wail in grief. No. No. No.

Yamori stalked over to Kei, using his sharp claws to impale her chest. Kaneki watched in horror.

"This is all your fault." Yamori said. "You couldn't choose, and because of that both of them are dead. Look at what you've done." He stalked out of the room, licking the blood from his fingers.

...

"Fire!" The cannonball rocketed forward, crushing rock. A number of mermaids swam out of the way, avoiding the debris. Some weren't so lucky. Amon watched as a shard hit one in the head. Blood gushed from the large gash.

Men and women stood at the sides of the ship, armed with various types of spears and harpoons. They were prepared to throw at a word's notice. A few of them trembled, this being their first mission. Amon hoped nothing went bad.

Mermaids surged toward the ship. Amon readied his trident. They were now too close and spread out for the canon to have any use at all. They threw, trying to clear the water the best they could before they put the smaller boats in the dark, twisting waves. They wanted to remove as much threat as they could. The small boats were much more fragile and dangerous to be in, but necessary to navigate the complex maze of rocks.

There were shouts and jeers as the small boats began to fill with eager soldiers. Amon scowled. It wasn't a game, it was life and death. If they screwed around they would die.

Suzuya stood on the railing on the ship. Shinohara knew better than try to confine him on a boat, Amon was quickly learning that as well. With a shout, warning him to stay safe, Amon jumped down into a boat, scanning the water for any danger.

Suzuya smiled, inhaling the cool night air. He jumped, twisting to dive into the water, knives sharp and ready.

...

It was all his fault. He did this. If he hadn't smiled at Kei. If he had been more careful. If he could have chosen… he could have saved a life. He hadn't known Kei or Kouta for long, but he couldn't help but feel grief over their deaths. Worse yet, it was all his fault. He couldn't choose. He was too weak.

Tears rolled down his face. Weak. Weak. Weak.

He was captured because he couldn't choose between his old life and Hide. He had to choose. If he tried to keep both he would inevitably also lose both. That was just the way the world worked.

He was weak.

He had to make a choice. He had to. He had to.

The whole time he was in the arena he was hovering between life and death. Between not wanting to live and not wanting to die. He had to make a choice.

He wanted to live. He wanted to see Hide again. Even if it meant hurting others. He wanted to live.

Kaneki tugged experimentally at the chains binding him, pulling his arms in towards himself.

...

Suzuya surface briefly for some much needed air. He flipped the knife in his hand. They were all weaklings. Obviously underlings. He was having no fun at all. They all died too quickly. He needed bigger prey, something to occupy his waning attention at least for a little while. He swam deeper into the hideout, in search of a challenge.

...

Explosions sounded, rock chipping off the wall behind him. What was happening? He pursed his lips, waiting. He would probably find out soon.

Yamori emerged from the water, a smile on his face. "It's about time I ended this." He swam up, grabbing Kaneki's chin roughly. "You know, a while ago I heard this rumor…that cannibalization makes you stronger." He scowled. "It tastes disgusting, but the rumor is true. Ever since I ate…" His voice trailed off into mumbled, face twisting. "…I've felt myself growing faster. More powerful."

Another explosion rocked the area around them.

"The Doves are invading. I'll have to fight them soon. That is my duty. You will help me with that." Yamori cracked his fingers. "It is the fate of the weak to be devoured by the strong. You are the weak." Yamori leaned in, eyes widening as he felt pain shoot up his face.

Kaneki chewed and swallowed. "You're right. It is disgusting."

Yamori's eyes bulged and he backed away. "Y-you fucker."

Kaneki pulled his hands towards his chest, feeling the bones in his hands break and dislocate as they were forced the wrist-sized hole. "Since you tried to eat me, you should have no objections to being devoured." His one eye turned black and red.

"Y-you…" Yamori started. Kaneki dove under the water

Yamori spun desperately trying to find him and felt a hand bury itself into his stomach. He screamed and lurched forward. He found himself being dragged over to the wall. Kaneki pinned him, wrapping one of the chains around his left wrist, keeping him floating, and his head above the water.

Kaneki grinned sadistically, a feeling of power filling his chest. "What's one thousand minus seven?" When Yamori didn't answer he took a bite out of his shoulder. "Count."

"One thousand… nine hundred ninety-three…"

...

Suzuya heard screams again, but they were different from before. He knew the sound. It was the sound of hopeless, the sound of knowing you would die, but not being able to do anything about it. He swam towards the screams, knowing he would find someone powerful there, taking down the small-fry on his way.

He knew the others would head toward the screams as well, probably expecting it to be one of their comrades. Suzuya's intuition told him it wasn't.

...

Kaneki left him in the water. He didn't want to be responsible for his death. He could still hear the sounds of battle. Yamori said the Doves were invading. If that were true he would have to escape quickly. He in no way wanted to have another fight with the condition his body was in. That would be difficult since he knew nothing about the layout of where he was. Though, he supposed he wasn't at any more of a disadvantage than the Doves were. There was no way they would know the layout either.

He set out, staying underwater to look for an escape.

...

Suzuya was the first on the scene, brandishing a knife in each hand and one in his mouth. Blood stained the water a delicious red color. A large body floated, tail visible. A shame, he had already been defeated, and victor had already disappeared. He sighed, disappointed.

"Meat!" A muscular arm lunged at him, forcing him to jerk to the side.

The merman swam chaotically towards him, eyes widened in strain and insanity.

Maybe it would prove to be fun after all.


	14. Home

Suzuya dodged the man's charge again. He was sloppy, his body damaged, partially eaten and just recovering. He was desperate too, mouth snapping, trying to tear out a chunk of Suzuya's body.

Suzuya laughed internally. Even though the merman was injured, he wasn't someone to screw around with. He was dangerous and very powerful, which begged the question, who the hell had left him in the state he was in? Whoever they were, they were long gone. Maybe Suzuya would chase after them next.

On the merman's next thoughtless lunge, Suzuya let the knife in his hand drag across his arm, cutting down to the bone. Using his shock, Suzuya impaled the knife in his back, penetrating an organ, maybe two. He left the knife in, pulling more out of his jacket. He put distance between the two.

The merman trashed about, reaching around his back, but not able to get a hold of the knife. It was dangerously near his spine, Suzuya had just missed it.

Suzuya waited, watching his tail flex in preparation for another lunge. As soon as Suzuya saw him begin to shoot forward, he threw his blades. It was too late for the merman to change direction. His mouth opened in a silent cry as one knife sliced through his cheek, disappearing into the water beyond, and the other lodged itself in his eye.

He threw more, arms whipping about speedily, aim never failing. They stabbed in his stomach, his chest, his face. Suzuya pulled two more, swimming towards the immobile merman. He crossed the blades and slashed at the merman's throat. More blood filled the water. Suzuya continued hacking at it until the head came free from his neck.

Suzuya gathered his knives, mourning the loss of the one that didn't hit the merman. He would have to get another one made. He sighed when he surfaced, gathering the fresh air in his lungs. What a disappointment. Unsatisfied, he set out to find the person who beat the merman.

...

Kaneki went against the current, finding the entrance to the ocean. He drank in the expanse of it, the open space, and the freedom. He surfaced and admittedly had no idea where he was. But, he had to be close to the city, since the Doves were there.

Speaking of the Doves, a trident quickly sailed towards him. He moved to the side and caught the handle as it was passing him, eyes wide. He followed the path of its trajectory to a large dark-haired man. The Dove glared back at him, reaching for another trident, but not finding one. He glanced around desperately at the others on the ship, but they all shook their head and looked at Kaneki in horror.

Kaneki frowned at the dark-haired man who ordered them to the center of the boat, while he stayed at the edge, gritting his teeth. It looked as though he was trying to protect them. Lines formed around Kaneki's mouth.

He really couldn't blame the Doves for what they were doing. His kind constantly killed theirs. It was only natural they would want to defend themselves and other humans. If they were attacking the cave where Touka, Hinami and Nishio lived he certainly would have acted differently. But this place… it was one of horror and pain for him, and probably filled with others that were just like Yamori.

Still, he questioned his motives as he slowly swam towards the boat, causing some of the people on it to cower in fear. Did he want to see that place destroyed? Or did he not want to see those people die?

He swam close enough to the boat that the dark-haired man would be easily able to see his expression with his dull senses. He held the trident out to him cautiously, palm open. The man examined his expression and thought of the situation carefully. If Kaneki wanted to he could easily sink the whole boat. He didn't need trickery to get the man of the boat. Kaneki hoped the man would realize that.

It seemed he did. He deliberately knelt and leaned forward, accepting the trident in his hand. He pressed his lips together, expression dark.

"You shouldn't waste your last shot." The weight left Kaneki's hand.

"…why?" The Dove began, but his words were lost as Kaneki dove underwater, disappearing from sight.

Once Kaneki was far enough away, he resurfaced. He could see the dark-haired man's boat making its way back to the main one. There were still signs and sounds of fighting. He hoped Banjou made it out safely. He didn't care about anyone else.

He shook his head and trailed along the coast, looking for some familiar landmark so he could make his way back to the lagoon. He made his choice. He would become human and stay with Hide. He no longer had a place in the water.

He found his landmark, what Touka called the cliff of death, where the storm had washed him to. Where Touka had found him bloodied and beaten against the jagged rocks in the shallow water. He would no longer see them. Hinami, Touka, and Nishio would all be gone from his life. The thought brought pain to his chest. He swam past the cave, not having the heart to cast a look back at it.

By the time he made it back to the lagoon the sun was rising. He pulled himself up onto the sand, no patience for his tail. As soon as he made it on the dry land, the silvery scales began to shed off, revealing a pair of legs beneath. He sighed in relief and dusted off some of the remaining scales.

"Kaneki?" Hide's hesitant voice filled his chest with warmth. It was too long since he last heard it. "Is that you?"

Kaneki looked up, eyes meeting Hide's. As soon as Hide saw his face, he dropped down on his knees next to Kaneki. He ran a hand through Kaneki's white hair, looking confused.

"It's been ten days. Where have you been? What happened?" Hide looked pained. He had been worrying about Kaneki the whole time. He wondered if he got himself hurt again or caught up in more trouble. Or, his insecurities whispered to him, that Kaneki had decided to leave him behind.

Kaneki shook his head in answer and buried his face in Hide's neck, inhaling deeply. Hide cradled him against his chest.

"…Kaneki…?" Hide stroked his hair gently.

Kaneki sighed. "I want to go home."

Hide paused, unsure of what exactly he meant by that. "Ah… I can rent another room, but I'm not sure we would get the same one…"

Kaneki nodded in agreement and Hide visibly relaxed.

"Okay. I brought some spare clothes. I'll go get them, then we can –" Kaneki pulled him back as he began to stand up.

"Let's stay like this for a while longer." Kaneki's voice shook a little and he was surprised by his own neediness.

...

They weren't able to get the same room, but that was expected. It looked almost the same anyway. Same walls, same carpet, same bathroom, two beds. Hide would never get a room with only one. If he did then he would feel like he was forcing Kaneki to sleep in the same one as him. It made him feel good and calmed his conscience when he knew Kaneki wanted to sleep beside him.

Though it was just past noon, both men were exhausted. Kaneki, from his experience and Hide from staying up countless nights waiting for Kaneki to finally show up. He wanted to know why Kaneki was gone, but Hide didn't press on the matter, worried about Kaneki's change of appearance and expression. But what scared Hide the most was his change in voice. It still had the same pitch, but it had a sadder undertone. Something bad may have happened. Hide wanted to know, maybe he could help with something?

Hide bit his lip anxiously as he pressed his face into Kaneki's hair. He was already asleep, resting peacefully in his arms, hot breath on his chest and neck.

If Kaneki didn't want to talk, he wouldn't. Hide really wished Kaneki would confide in him more often.

Hide's eyes drooped to a close, but he found he couldn't sleep at all, even with Kaneki's warm body curled up against him. It had been about an hour later when he felt Kaneki flinch in his sleep. Hide opened his eyes, sitting up when he felt Kaneki shudder. He brushed Kaneki's hair away from his sweaty face, revealing a pained expression.

"Kaneki?" Hide lightly touched his shoulder, waiting for response. The only answer he got was Kaneki fisting his hands tightly in the blanket and curling up further into a ball.

Hide shook his shoulder lightly when he began gasping, hyperventilating between clenched teeth.

"Kaneki!"

His eyes snapped open and he quickly rolled over in shock, falling off the other end of the bed. Hide heard him huff as he hit the ground. He crawled over the bed, seeing Kaneki sitting on the ground, rubbing his head in confusion. Hide quickly offered his hand, helping Kaneki up and back into the bed. Kaneki's hand was cold, damp and trembling. Kaneki screwed his eyes shut as he joined Hide in bed again.

"Are you okay?" Hide whispered after a few seconds of silence.

Kaneki nodded, making Hide frown. He knew that was a lie. Kaneki was far from being okay. He didn't know what Kaneki was dreaming of, but it couldn't have been anything good.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Kaneki's voice was low in an effort to hide the strain in it.

Hide ran his hand up Kaneki's bare back, rubbing the tense muscles around his shoulders. "No, I couldn't sleep in the first place."

Hide continued stroking Kaneki's back making him hum in pleasure. "That feels nice," he muttered under his breath, so quiet Hide almost didn't hear him.

"Here, flip over on your stomach." Kaneki hesitantly did so, allowing Hide to kneel beside him and press both hands on his back, careful to not hurt his still healing nub of a pinkie-finger.

A small smile touched Hide's lips as he saw Kaneki fold his arms under his head and relax under his hands. He rubbed small circles on Kaneki's lower back. Hide had never given a massage before and didn't really know how… but as long as Kaneki enjoyed it…

He jumped when Hide's fingers traced the sides of his waist.

"Sorry." He mumbled, moving up to Kaneki's shoulders, feeling the taut muscles around them. He pressed his fingers against the warm, smooth skin.

Kaneki turned his face into the pillow beneath him, cheeks turning slightly red. He wanted Hide's hands to find their way to the dip of his waist again, but he wouldn't make the request.

"What, are you thinking dirty thoughts down there?" Hide said, noticing the tips of Kaneki's ears. He grinned when Kaneki stiffened, but didn't answer. He planted a kiss on the back of Kaneki's neck, making him jolt. Hide trailed his lips down to the small of Kaneki's back and up to his neck again.

"Damn. I was trying to help you relax, now look at what I've done." Hide nipped at Kaneki's earlobe. "Oh well…"

Kaneki moaned and flipped over onto his side, impatiently pressing his lips against Hide's, making him chuckle. Kaneki caught Hide's hands before they made their way up to his face and guided them down to his waist shyly. Hide deepened the kiss immediately, tongue tracing the inside of Kaneki's cheek. For once, it wasn't Kaneki who had to pull back first, but Hide. As he gulped air, Kaneki moved to his bottom lip, sucking and nipping at it.

Once he was recovered, Hide moved down Kaneki's neck, twirling his tongue where his pulse beat the hardest. Kaneki shuddered and fidgeted, feeling an unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling in the front of his pants. He let out a barely audible yelp when Hide brushed up against the bulge.

Hide laugh quietly and let his hands trail down to the top of Kaneki's jeans. "Would you like some help with that?" His fingers brushed against Kaneki’s stomach and the button of his pants.

Kaneki swallowed, closing his dilated eyes, beginning to nod when he realized Hide probably wanted a verbal confirmation. “Y-yes.”

Hide grinned and popped the button open. “Lift your hips,” he ordered and Kaneki followed it, shuddering slightly at the change in Hide’s voice. He felt the jeans slowly slide down his legs, the rough fabric tickling his sensitive skin. He felt the relief almost instantly, though his pair of underwear still remained untouched. 

He felt Hide’s lips just above the waistband of his underwear, sucking at the skin there. Once he left a pleasingly red mark he trailed back up to Kaneki’s face, leaving hot kisses on his way up. He settled on Kaneki’s lips, kissing him hard enough to make him gasp. 

Hide smiled. “If you want me to stop…” His hands trailed down Kaneki’s chest. “Just say so.”

Kaneki nodded making sure Hide knew he heard him and then jumped suddenly, Hide’s hand tweaking his nipple. Kaneki bit his lip, trying not to squeak in response. His hands flew around Hide’s back when he lowered his head and gently ran the tip of his tongue against the bud. When he lightly bit down, Kaneki’s fingernails dug into Hide’s skin.

“Kaneki!” Hide shuddered and moaned. Kaneki struggled to control himself. He needed to remind himself he was much more powerful than Hide and could easily hurt him. He pulled his fingers back and pressed the palms of his hands against Hide’s back instead. He ran his hands up and down Hide’s back, trying to keep in mind exactly what they were doing as Hide continued to bite and suck on his chest, leaving various bruises.

Hide moved back up to Kaneki’s lips, hooking a finger in Kaneki’s underwear. Hide pushed the man’s lips apart, feeling the indent left from his teeth. He slipped his hand under the fabric, squeezing Kaneki. His response was immediate, bucking into Hide’s hand and moaning. Hide smiled and ran his teeth along Kaneki’s ear.

Hide pulled Kaneki’s underwear down to his ankles, where he kicked them off impatiently, sending them flying into some corner of the room. Now that he could move he hand freely, he stoked Kaneki up and down. He repositioned himself so that he was sitting on Kaneki’s thighs, helping to still some of the man’s bucking, since it could be problematic for what he planned to do next. 

He scoot down a little, letting one of his hands pin Kaneki’s hips, before he opened his mouth and licked Kaneki’s tip, making the man gasp and tightly grip the blankets around them. Hide opened his mouth further and lightly sucked on the head, swirling his touch, while continuing his pumping at the base. 

He felt Kaneki shudder violently and quickly lifted his head, deciding that he wanted to see Kaneki’s face when he came. Hide grinned fondly as he watched Kaneki breath heavily, face red and chest covered in a faint sheen of sweat. 

Hide rolled off him and returned to his spot on the bed, kissing Kaneki on the forehead before bringing him back to his chest. He jumped when he felt Kaneki press him palm against his hardness.

“What about you?” Hide flushed at the question. Kaneki was looking up at him expectantly, lips slightly parted, pupils large and dilated.   
“Uh – I’m okay… you don’t have too –“

Kaneki shook his head. “I want to.” He picked at Hide’s pants, watching Hide closely.

“Yes. God yes.” Hide shuddered, tightening his hold on Kaneki.

Kaneki wasted no time on ministrations. He pulled Hide’s pants and underwear down in one go. Copying what Hide had done to him, he took him in his palm and squeezed gently, feeling extremely pleased when he heard Hide cry out. Hide’s hands went to the back of Kaneki’s head, tugging lightly on his hair, urging him on.

Kaneki experimentally wrapped his hand around the shaft and began pumping, closely watching Hide’s reaction, being careful not to use too much force or be too rough. He didn’t want to hurt him.

He heard Hide make a strangled sound when he licked and he jerked back up, worried.

“S-sorry. Did I do something wrong?” 

The concerned lines between Kaneki’s eyebrows made Hide want to laugh. “No. You’re doing well. Really well.” Kaneki was about to lower his head again when he heard Hide continue talking. “Just – mind the teeth.”

Kaneki shot him a bashful glare. “Obviously.” He took Hide in his mouth, almost choking when Hide involuntarily thrust his hips.

He heard a murmured, incomprehensible apology from Hide, realizing the purpose Hide had when holding Kaneki’s hips with his one hand. He followed the example and took more of Hide in his mouth each time he bobbed his head, spurred on by Hide’s various sounds. 

“Kaneki!” Hide gasped, and pulled more insistently on Kaneki’s hair.

He came in Kaneki’s mouth, making him freeze, unsure what to do. After a few seconds he decided to swallow and was relieved it didn't taste awful or give him a stomach ache. He wiped at him mouth, removing any traces before crawling back up beside Hide.

He placing a hand on Hide’s flushed chest, feeling his pulse race under his fingers. Kaneki laid his head there, listening to the steady drumming. With Hide’s arms curled around him he fell into a blissful sleep.


	15. Chance Encounter

Amon was uncomfortable with all the people crowding around him. He had some advantage, because of his height, but didn’t help much with the awkwardness. Suzuya on the other hand, thrived in the environment, looking around excitedly at various stands. He and Suzuya were visiting a blacksmith in the city. She made good, precise work for cheap. He was a regular customer, always needing new tridents, as was Suzuya, who was nearly obsessive about have a complete set of knives. 

Usually he would go, get the work done, and leave, coming back to pick it up later. But, Suzuya was insistent on having his exploration. Amon didn’t have the energy to argue after what had been going down for the last few days: the raid, the cleanup… he was exhausted. He really didn’t know how Suzuya was doing it. He was expertly darting around people, appearing in Amon’s vision for a few seconds before quickly disappearing again. 

Shinohara didn’t come along, he said something about resting his old bones. Amon was really starting to wish he was there with them, at least that way he would have someone to talk to. He tried a few times with Suzuya, but when he would look over in the middle of his sentence the white haired man would have already ran off somewhere else. 

It seemed like an eternity before they reached their destination. 

Suzuya burst through the unlocked door with a gleeful shout. “Yoriko!”

Amon followed the man inside, with his head bowed low. Maybe he shouldn’t have let the hyperactive one go first.

I cute, teenaged girl was sitting at the nearby table, her hair pulled up into a tight bun. She smiled, recovering from her shock from her home being barged into. “Hello, Suzuya. The usual?” She glanced at Amon, noticing him standing hesitantly in the door. “For you too, Amon?”

Amon nodded, embarrassed. “Thank you.”

Yoriko whipped her hands on her pants. “I just finished making some fried mackerel, you can help yourself to some while finish up some of the final touches.”

Amon’s head turned to the food sitting untouched on the table. Whenever Yoriko got the time she would be cooking something. Amon remembered it was her passion. She wanted to be a chef. 

Then, two years ago, her father was killed in an attack. The boat he was on was sunk. There were no known survivors. It was likely the mermaids caught and ate any that tried to swim away. Yoriko was forced to take on her father’s job to help support herself, her mother committing suicide off the cliff of death only a few months after the father’s death.   
She was another tragic story spawned from the mermaid’s terror. It was for people like her that Amon fought.

“The final touches?” Suzuya mumbled, mouth already full of the fish.

She smiled sweetly. “Ah, yes. The last time you were here you mentioned the raid and I guessed you would need more equipment after it… so I made some weapons in advance for you. They should be ready in just a couple hours, if you wanted to hang around.” Her voice held a certain plea in it. 

“Of course.” Amon took the seat across from Suzuya. 

As fate would have it, Yoriko ended up being a far better blacksmith than her father. He taught her everything he knew while she was growing up. Even then she had a natural talent and an eye for detail that her father never had, though it did take her more time to finish her products. 

When she walked back into the kitchen she had soot on her cloths and face. The dark smudges looked misplaced on her soft skin. Amon and Suzuya took the weapons and stayed to visit the lonely girl for a while.

Amon waved as he left, frowning as soon as Yoriko closed the door behind them. No person that age should be given such a burden. With fire in his heart he strode forward, determined to get back to the ocean and fighting the monsters. 

He rushed through the crowd, leaving Suzuya to catch up, when he suddenly collided with someone, his larger body sending them sprawling to the ground. He mumbled an apology and reached down to help the man up.

Someone else beat him to it. A blonde haired man with a bandaged hand helped the man up, dusting him off as he stood.

“Hey, man. You should really look out where you’re going.” But, Amon wasn’t listening to him.

Amon was staring at a face framed by familiar white hair. A soft face hardened by shock. The man recognized him too. Amon could have passed it off as a coincidence. There were plenty of people who looked similar to each other, he could have been mistaken. But, he wasn’t. It wasn’t only his rare coloured hair. It was eyes. They were silvery, too shiny, and inhuman. They were the type of eyes he had seen all through his life. They were the eyes of a monster.

But, this type of monster wasn’t supposed to be on land. They were restricted to the ocean, weren’t they?

The blonde was looking between the two curiously.

“I – “

“My apologies.” The white haired man quickly bowed, words tumbling one after another out of his mouth. “I’ll watch where I am going next time.” He tugged on the blonde’s shirt sleeve impatiently. “We will get out of your way.”

“Wait –“ But they were already gone, disappearing into the throng of bodies. 

Suzuya skipped up behind Amon, pockets slightly heavier. 

“Suzuya! Did you see where those men went?” Amon huffed out, utterly muddled. 

Suzuya picked at some of the stitches in his arm. “Hmm? What men?”

Amon sighed in defeat. “Damn…” He thought quickly, a name popping into his head. “There’s one more stop we need to make today.”

…

Suzuya ended up going back to the ship. He seemed restless and bored with whatever task Amon seemed set on doing. 

Amon walked around to the front of the building, the residence. He knocked on the door three times and waited, hearing footsteps on the other side. 

An older man opened the door slowly. “Ah, hello Amon. It has been a while.”

“It has, Dr. Kanou. Do you mind if I come in to ask some questions?”

Kanou pursed his lips before waving the man inside, worried what kinds of questions Amon was going to ask. Had the Doves caught on to his experiments? “You look stressed Amon, should I make some tea for us while we talk?”

A few minutes later Amon found himself seated at a small dining room table with a cup of brown liquid in his hand. The scent was calming and did help Amon to focus.  
The doctor took a seat as well and folded his hands on the table. “What was it that you wanted to ask me?”

Amon took a deep breath before he began. “Dr. Kanou, it was my understanding that you were once a researcher studying mermaids and that you helped deduct some of the methods used to fight them today. You know a great deal about them, do you not?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

Amon sighed in relief. “Then would you tell me, if it is possible for a mermaid to… move onto land. Walk around like a normal human?” The silver eyes haunted the man, presenting him with the terrifying possibility. 

Kanou mulled over his next words, considering, and also surprised by what Amon said. “What makes you say that?”

“There was a mermaid I encountered during a raid a few days ago, then earlier today I bumped into the same person on the street. I’m sure of it. His eyes…” Amon gulped his tea down, burning his tongue.

Kanou was frozen. Could it be…? If it was so then it was a wonderful opportunity for him. “Tell me more about the man.”

Amon was surprised at the man’s sudden curiosity, though he supposed he shouldn’t be, given that he was a scientist. “Well, when I first met him in the water he certainly acted oddly. Instead of killing me he gave me back my weapon. Then, when I met him on the street it seemed he recognized me too and quickly disappeared.” Kanou nodded, urging him on. “Uh – he had his eyes – which were silvery and very shiny and his hair was a stark white.”

“Is there anything else? Anything at all?” Kanou was leaning forward, eyes wide.

Amon paused, thinking. “He seemed to be with another man. He had a bandaged left hand. It seemed he was missing his pinkie.”

Kanou’s eyes widened at that. He remembered someone coming to him with a missing pinkie, as he remembered, it seemed to be bitten off. He recalled a man with him who did have strange eyes, but he never gave it a second thought. 

Could that man be the person he was looking for?

“Dr. Kanou?” Amon was staring at him in concern.

He quickly waved a hand. “Ah, yes, sorry. You should have nothing to worry about.”

Amon’s eyebrows drew together. “What?”

“My apologies. I got caught up in the idea. An old habit of being a scientist, I suppose.” He smiled, at ease. “Like I said, you should have nothing to worry about. Never in my studies have I ever come across the possibility that mermaids could walk on land. With their anatomical structures it would seem it is impossible. I’m sure it was just a coincidence. Certain conditions with the eyes could have been a cause for the man’s abnormality. I would not think too deeply about it.”

Amon supposed he was right, but he still could not get rid of the gnawing feeling in his stomach telling him something was wrong. He usually went with his instinct, but since the doctor explained it he almost felt foolish. 

He thanked the doctor for his time and hospitality and left soon after.

…

Kanou paced back and forth in his lab. It had to be the boy. It had to be him. It had to be the one he had failed to capture so many years before. He cursed himself. The boy had walked right into his hands and he had let him go. What was his name? Kaneki. He recalled the other boy, Hide, calling him that. 

He would not let the opportunity pass a second time.

He would not go to them. No, Kaneki might end up skittish and never go near him again. He had to lure them. He had to get them to come to him.

He pressed his hand on the glass behind him, looking up at beautiful, flowing purple hair. 

“It seems you will be reunited with your son soon.”

…

Kaneki flopped onto the bed, inhaling the scent. God, he felt pathetic. Hide hadn’t even been gone for thirty minutes and he was already lonely. He pressed his face deeper into the pillow, Hide’s smell comforting him. He curled his arm around, hugging the pillow to his chest. 

Maybe he should have gone with him. But, he was nervous of having another run in with the Dove he had a few days previous. It had been a peaceful few days, lounging with Hide and doing a few other things. He cheeks turned scarlet at the memory and he let out a frustrated groan against the pillow, smothering the vocalization. 

He heard a sound approaching the door and jumped up excitedly. Hide was back. He sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the door to open, but it didn’t. Eyebrows drawn together, Kaneki walked to the door, slowly unlocking it. As soon as he turned the doorknob, the door swung open, leaving a bloodied Hide to stumble into Kaneki’s arms.


	16. Confinement

“Hide!” Kaneki caught the man before he could fall. He made small sounds of pain as Kaneki carried him over and placed him on the bed. “What happened?”

“Got mugged.” Hide grimaced in pain as Kaneki brushed his hair from his bloodied face, taking in Hide’s busted lip and swollen face. There was a gash on his forehead that was bleeding profusely and would probably require stitches. “Ah… damn… my ribs.”

Kaneki hands traveled to Hide’s shirt, gingerly lifting it to reveal already forming black splotches. It was likely Hide had some broken ribs. Kaneki looked up when Hide’s breath slowed.

Shit. He passed out. Kaneki rushed over to the one side of the room, pulling out a clean shirt and tearing it, tying a piece to Hide’s head to stop the bleeding. He was about to grab him and run out the door when he remembered something. He needed money to pay the doctor with. He quickly grabbed a bundle out of the bag on the floor.

…

Kaneki knocked on the door frantically. It had to be the right one. It had to be. Rain poured down from the sky, soaking his clothes. He was okay, but Hide was pale and shivering.

He was about to knock again when the door swung open, allowing Kaneki to breathe a sigh of relief.

Dr. Kanou took one look at Hide, and then scrutinized Kaneki. “Follow me."

Kaneki followed the man down the dark corridor, into the room where he first treated Hide. Kaneki was feeling uneasy. He didn’t like that place, or trust that man, but he had to go there for Hide. 

“Lay him out on his back gently.” Kaneki could hear the doctor rustling around in the cabinets, pulling out various items. 

He cut away Hide’s pants and shirt, closely examining his body. When he got to the chest area, he hovered longer, prodding each rib with careful hands. Kaneki fidgeted at the edge of the metal table, watching as the doctor tended to Hide’s chest. Then, he moved to his head, closing up the gash and stopping the bleeding.

“It isn’t as bad as it looks. Most of it is just bruising. He has a few broken ribs, but they were all clean breaks, so his internals are unharmed. As for his head… well, we will see when – if – he wakes up.”

Kaneki felt a chill go down his spine. “What do you mean if?”

The doctor said grimly, “He probably has a concussion, the gash seems to have been caused by him hitting his head on some blunt object. See these scratches here?” The doctor pointed to Hide’s temple. “It looks like these marks were caused by gravel. He probably fell and hit his head.” He shook his head. “Sometimes, when people with concussions fall asleep, they just don’t wake up. That’s why it’s important to keep them conscious.”

Kaneki bit his lip. Hide was awake before. If he had known… and now Hide may never wake up. His fists clenched at his sides. It was all his fault.

The doctor continued. “I’ll keep him for observation. Please, wait here.”

Kaneki nodded and moved closer to Hide, sliding his hand into his. He closed his eyes rested his head on the table next to Hide’s. It was frustrating. There was nothing he could do. Nothing he could control. He would just have to wait and see. Waiting was painful.

He jumped when he felt cloth brush his hand. He hadn’t even noticed when the doctor came back into the room, laying a blanket over Hide’s body. He didn’t even watch as the doctor left. He kept staring at Hide’s face, waiting for some reaction, some movement to tell him he was waking up.

Kanou was still in the room. Kaneki could hear him moving things, probably back into the cabinets.

“You’re going to catch a cold like that.” The voice was right behind him, and he startled when a towel was draped over his head obscuring his vision. He was about to mumbled a thank you when he felt a sudden pain in his neck. He turned, trying to face the doctor, but his head spun. Frustrated, he ripped the towel off his head and reached for the man, but his aim missed. His vision was distorted. 

His legs gave out and he crashed to the floor, passing out only a few seconds later.

Kanou was pleased his plan worked. All he had to do was hire a few thugs and give them the description of the person he wanted them to beat up. With his missing pinkie, Hide was easy to distinguish. 

…

Kaneki woke up with his arms and legs strapped down. He tried to pull his hands free, but his muscles were still too weak to follow those orders. His head really hurt. He groaned. What the hell had that bastard done to him? He yanked on his bindings again.

“Now, now. Don’t be doing that.” The doctor hovered over him. Kanou pointed to Kaneki’s bicep, showing off a thin scratch. “Do you see that? Just a few hours ago that was a deep cut that would have required stitches. Now? It’s almost healed. Which confirms my suspicions about you, half-blood.”

Kaneki narrowed his eyes. No, there was no way he could…

“I’ve always been curious about mermaids. Can you tell me, what is like to be able to breathe underwater? To be so strong. To be on the top of the food chain? Is it a powerful feeling? It must be.”

Kaneki was speechless, watching the man as he rambled on.

“You see, I always wanted to experience these things for myself. So, my whole life I’ve conducted research on your kind. But, you’re a special one. Yes, you are the key. You are the answer. Well, I suppose your DNA is. Tell me, Kaneki. Will you help me with my studies?”

Kaneki glared, tugging with his arms again. “No.”

Kanou continued talking. “Yes, you will. And, you will behave. Do you know why?” Kanou gestured to the door of the room they were in. “If you don’t I will kill your friend. He is important to you, isn’t he? He’s human though, that’s odd. Why would someone like yourself associate with lower beings like him?”

Kaneki stopped struggling, eyes wide. “Don’t you dare hurt him.”

Kanou smiled and held his hands out to the side. “That all depends on you. Here is my deal: willingly be my test subject and I will let him live. Do you agree?”

“…yes.” Kaneki bit the inside of his cheek, blood flooding into his mouth.

“Good. But remember, I won’t be happy if you break our promise.”

Kaneki didn’t say anything. He simply stared at the ceiling. A bright light was suddenly brought over his head, blinding him.

“Well, then. Shall we begin?” Kaneki head the clinking of objects and he squeezed his eyes shut.

…

The next few days were hell. Kaneki couldn’t count how many times the doctor cut into his legs, examining the muscles. He took portions of them for examination. Every time he would come he would take different things to examine: tendons, bone. Kaneki eventually stopped focussing on what the man was cutting away from his body. One day, Kanou simply came into the room in the morning and gave Kaneki a shot. He noticed himself become drowsy, but not fall asleep. It must have been similar to what the doctor used to knock him out, but in a low dosage.

He didn’t know what the purpose was until the doctor came back into the room, smiling. Behind him, was Hide. He was almost happy to see him, except his mind pulled him back to when Yamori dragged Kei into his area. He felt his stomach clench. That fucker. He promised.

Kanou began speaking. “You’ve been doing very well, Kaneki. So, I thought it was only right to let you know your friend was awake and recovering. Aren’t you glad to see him?” Kanou walked Hide over to the table.

Kaneki could see Hide’s eyes were slightly glazed over. He was probably drugged as well. Kanou couldn’t risk Kaneki escaping. To Kaneki’s surprise, Kanou released Hide, giving him a pointed look. Hide just nodded and moved to Kaneki’s side, caressing his cheek softly.

Kaneki felt tears slip from his eyes. “You’re okay.” His words came out jumbled, but Hide understood what he was trying to say. 

“Yeah.” His voice was just above a whisper.

“Okay. That’s enough. I need to get back to my work.” Kanou moved towards the two, pulled Hide slowly away. “Keep being good and I’ll allow a longer meeting next time.”  
Kaneki clenched his teeth as Hide’s hand slid away from his face. Hide looked at him sadly as he left the room, once again leaving Kaneki alone. 

…

Hide sat alone in the little room, hands tied to a pole behind his back with rope. His chest hurt with every breath he took. 

He was finally able to see Kaneki. Hide felt a new throbbing in his chest, remembering his condition. Hide could hardly look at the deep cuts made into the other man’s legs from the doctor. The look on Kaneki’s face, pale, exhausted and sickly made his stomach turn. 

The doctor had told him to stay where he was, or he would hurt Kaneki. After demanding to see Kaneki so many times, the doctor finally gave in, allowing Hide to determine a few things.

One, he already was hurting Kaneki.

Two, he would not kill Kaneki, because the doctor needed him for at least a while longer.

Three, Kaneki probably made the same deal with doctor as he did.

Four, even when he was drugged, he was still one hell of a pickpocket.

Hide shifted his weight, ignoring the pain. Since Kanou would be experimenting on Kaneki again it would be quite a few hours before he came back to Hide. In that time, Hide could escape, unnoticed, and get some help. As much as he want to, there was no way he could rescue Kaneki by himself. If he got caught it would be the end for both of them.

He pulled the scalpel out of his pocket and began to work on cutting the rope from his arms. He slipped a few times, slicing his wrists, but never too deeply.

When he finally felt the release of the ropes he wanted to shout in victory. With his hands free he easily cut the rope tying his legs.

Hide wobbled to his feet, gripping the wall for support. He stopped suddenly, looking at the door in front of him. What if it was locked?

Hide bit his lip as he grabbed the doorknob, slowly turning it. It opened. He supposed the doctor didn’t expect an injured man to break free from his bindings. 

He peeked out, making sure no one was around. He closed the door behind him, trying to stay as silent as possible, hardly even breathing. He tiptoed through a hallway, looking around every corner. He would run if anyone saw him, but he doubted he would get away. There was definitely no way he could fight.

He came into a large, dark room, light shining from only one object. To be correct, it was shining at it. It was a large tubular structure that appeared to be filled with water. He made his way slowly, looking around once more before peering through the glass. Eventually an outline formed in his vision. It was that of a women. She was extremely beautiful and had long, purple hair, and – she was a mermaid.

Hide shuddered and backed away. He kept his eyes on the unconscious mermaid. What the hell was that doctor up to?

He followed another hallway to the point where it seemed vaguely familiar. He peeked in one of the rooms, making sure. It was the room he was treated in for his pinkie. That meant that the exit was – right there.

He tried to turn the doorknob and almost panicked, finding it wouldn’t turn. Then, he saw the lock just beneath it and internally cursed. He needed to get it together.

He opened the door and made his way out into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos!!!


	17. Captive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't already hate me, you will. Also, I can't update tomorrow. So, you'll have to wait until Sunday for the next chapter.

Hide stumbled across the streets, grasping his chest and panting softly. Breathing too hard hurt. Really, really hurt. So bad at times he thought he was going to pass out. But, he had to get help. Who would help him? He could lie and say that this crazy guy kidnapped him. But, what would happen when they found Kaneki? They would without a doubt know there was something different about him.

Hide couldn't think about that now. He needed to worry about getting him out of that place first. He would figure out the rest as went along. Getting Kaneki away from that mad scientist was the most important thing.

"My, my." Hide looked up to see a large man taking a drag from a cigar. He blew the smoke in Hide's face, making him cough.

Hide's eyes widened and he fell to his knees, seized by his painful ribs.

The man laughed and turned to say something to another man, who nodded after thoroughly examining Hide. "Yeah, it's him."

"Let's take him to the boss."

Hands roughly pulled him to his feet. He gasped and stumbled along, too exhausted and in too much agony to do anything else.

"Man, those guys really did a number on him." Did that voice hold something akin to pity in it? Or maybe it was just Hide's imagination.

The other man scoffed. "Lucky for us. It gave us a lead. You know if we didn't get him in time the boss would have killed us." He laughed without humor. "No, he would have skinned us alive and tossed us in the sea with the mermaids. Got to tell you though, I don't think I'd really mind if it was a hot babe that killed me. Maybe I'll go for a little swim later…"

"The fuck is wrong with you man?" The big man clucked his tongue.

A third man chipped in. "He's a horny little shit, that's what."

"Hey now. Who says this man can't love."

The third man laughed. "Give your heart to a mermaid and it will devour it."

"How would you know that? Have you ever met a mermaid?"

"You're looking for love in all the wrong place. Take some advice from an old timer like me. Get rid of all those freaky fetishes of yours with mermaids."

"You're three years older than me."

"Four, actually. And those four make a big difference."

They stopped talking for a while. Hide could feel the anxiety increasing in the group. Hide was pulled into a dark room and shoved down into a chair. He strained to see in the dark. He could smell alcohol and cigars. Smells he was accustomed to.

"So, we meet again. Except, you don't have a body guard this time." A bearded man sat across from Hide, puffing on a fat cigar. Hide recognized him. Kaneki broke his wrist.

Hide simply looked up tiredly. He would have asked them for help, if he was stupid. There was no way self-interested people like them would help them. Worse yet, they wanted something from him. Maybe his life.

He clenched his teeth, biting back tears. He failed Kaneki. He escaped only to be captured.

"What? Are you going to cry?" The sarcastic voice was followed by a few chuckles from the surrounding men. "Tell you what, I'll cut you a deal."

Hide pursed his lips, remembering the last deal he made. But, in his situation it seemed he was going to be given no choice. He had to do anything to get out. "Name it."

The man smirked. "There is going to be a large poker tournament among some wealthy individuals tomorrow and I need someone to participate for me. Do what you need to – cheat – whatever, but remember, if you get caught I won't be the only one after your head. I need you to draw in as much money as you can. If you can get a substantial amount, I will let you live."

He waited for Hide's answer.

"Deal." The man had better hold up his end of the bargain.

…

He was gone. The brat escaped. Kanou stood by the door, glaring at the ropes on the ground with a frown. He had underestimated him. When he noticed one of his scalpels was missing he should have known right away.

Things were going to get a lot more difficult. He could stay as he was for a while, but eventually Kaneki would know Hide was no longer there. He had to come up with a solution quickly, before he lost control of his vital test subject.

He had to work quickly, not knowing if the boy would return. If he did, Kanou needed to prepare. He carefully packed a suitcase full of his materials and findings. There was no way he was going to lose a life's worth of work when he was so close to finding an answer.

…

The next day Hide was dressed in a stiff tuxedo with his hair brushed back. He would have looked charmingly professional if it wasn't for his beaten body and swollen face. He was flanked by two of the men from the previous day. The large one and the horny one.

He was sitting in a comfortable chair, leaning forward on his hands. His eyes were locked on his opponent. He watched her squirm.

If there was one thing he was confident about in the world, it was poker.

It wasn't long before he gathered the money up. Hide had never seen such a large sum in his life. It would without a doubt please the 'boss'. He snorted. He tossed the bags to the large guy.

"I think we're done." He didn't have time. He just wanted to get the money to the bearded guy and get back to helping Kaneki.

They met the 'boss' outside. He took in the money with greedy eyes, his greasy fingers clinging to some of the bills as he pulled them out to examine them. He looked like he was about to cry from happiness.

Hide didn't understand his emotions. Money wasn't important to Hide, and he only went to get more when he absolutely needed to. Hide lived freely. He didn't have a need for the burden.

"Finally… finally…" He turned to the men, "let's go. I have something set up with a fisherman. He agreed to take us to the mainland."

So, Hide mused. That was his purpose. It was rare to catch a ship going back and forth between this island and the mainland. With the constant threat of mermaid attacks the cost was high. He knew, he had paid the price to get to the island in the first place. But, the money he collected was more than enough to pay. Way more than enough. What could they possibly use the rest of the money for?

A hand roughly clapped Hide on the shoulder, making him wince. "With this boy here, we will be set for the rest of our lives."

"What?" Hide glared at the man.

The bearded man laughed. "I promised to let you live. Not that I would let you go. You work for me now."

Hide back away, shaking his head. "No."

…

The boat swayed. Hide was locked in the cargo hold, a new bruise forming around his eye. He had tried the door a few times, but to no avail. It was shut tightly. The only time it was opened was to give Hide a large jug of water, some crackers and dried meat to last the trip.

He must have been on the boat for at least two days. It seemed to be smooth sailing for the first day, but then, as soon as it became night, the boat was hurled over the waves. Hide had clung to a wooden pole for his life, the momentum yanking his body one way or the other.

Beyond that, he didn't pay too much attention to anything. He sat on the hard floor, hating himself. He wasn't able to help Kaneki. Hide was absolutely hopeless. He drew in his knees and pressed his face into them, not even trying to stop the tears. Kaneki had always helped him, always saved him when he was in trouble. And then, when it was Hide's turn to step up he couldn't do anything.

Hide heard commotion up on the deck.

"How did we end up back here?!" Hide couldn't tell who was yelling.

The man was answered by another who sounded offended. "With the storm yesterday, the wind, the currents, what did you expect to happen?"

"You told us two days of sailing! It's been two days! Now, I can see the island again! Do you even know what you are doing?" The voice raised in his aggravation, drowning out the sound of the other's rebuttal.

They were back at the island? Hide felt himself perk up. Maybe they would stop back at the port. Maybe he would be able to get free!

Kaneki heard new voices and lots of excited shouting. He gingerly stood, and placed his head by the door, trying to listen.

All of a sudden, the boat jerked suddenly, unnaturally. Hide put out his hands to stop his head from colliding with the door.

"They're going to sink the ship!"

"What do we do?!"

"Ready the lifeboats!"

"That won't help!"

"It doesn't matter! We have to try!"

"Get the spears!"

The door was yanked open, leaving Hide to stumble out. It was night time. The large man pulled him by his arm, towards a lifeboat.

"What's happening?!" Hide shouted. It was utter chaos on the ship. People were running about.

"Some of the people we hired to protect us screwed us over." So that was what the other money was for.

Hide gaped at him. "Who in the hell would you hire to protect you from mermaids!?"

"Some ex-hunters!" He glanced towards a group of people standing by some netting. "Those three!"

Hide looked towards them, and his eyes widened. They were laughing, prodding something with the blunt end of the spear. He saw a small body and a light blue tail, scattered with purple. They caught a mermaid. Hide guessed that was what the net was for, but who in their right mind would try to catch a mermaid?

They made the mistake of hiring these men. They were ex-Doves for a reason. They probably got kicked out for their recklessness and putting their colleagues in danger.

The ship rocked again, making Hide stumble to the ground, broken away from the other's hands.

He saw one of the ex-Doves pick up the small mermaid by the throat, carrying her over to the edge of the ship. He dangled her over the edge with a cruel smile. With his other hand, he pulled out a knife, waving it in front of her eyes to see. Tears were beginning to form as he lightly traced it down her throat and over her stomach.

One yelled, "Gut it!"

Another agreed.

The man raised the knife, making a shout ring out from the water.

"Hinami!"

Hide found his feet to be moving, making pounding sounds as they hit the wooden deck. The men's attention transferred to him a split second before he collided with the man holding the girl. She gasped as she was released and Hide distantly heard a splash as she hit the water below.

He turned, just avoiding a knife slash. His eyes widened and he yelped, backing away from the murderous men. They were going to kill him.

Hide backed away quickly, in fear. He didn't notice the low railing behind him until he hit it. A cry burst through his lips as he fell backwards, flipping over himself. He went overboard, into the dark, calm water.


	18. Realization

Hide splashed into the water. He bobbed up, struggling to stay afloat in the rough waves despite Kaneki's teachings on how to swim. What the hell was he going to do? It wasn't like he could leave the water and pop up on the boat and they would cheerfully welcome him back. If he went back up he would die.

He would die if he stayed in the water too. Not only were there mermaids that could easily decide to kill him if they wanted to or if they were hungry, but it was predictable that Hide was going to drown. His lungs burned with each gasping breath and he simply did not have the energy to stay floating for all that long.

Through the waves he saw eyes drive into his angrily. It was a mermaid. She was coming. She was going to kill him. He looked back sadly. So that was it for him then.

"Touka! No!" A cry rang out. Hide felt hands press up against his back, keeping him above the water. He didn't even flinch at the contact with his ribs. He was too shocked.

The dark-haired girl pulled up short, eyes wide.

"Let's just leave!" Hinami was crying, tears running down her face. "I don't want to see anyone else get hurt." Her voice trembled.

Touka pursed her lips, swimming closer. "Okay." Her voice was surprisingly soft. "I'll take this one to a boat." She planned to do this, despite her instincts, which were telling her to kill everyone on that boat, especially the men who attacked Hinami.

Hinami gave a small smile and nodded gratefully. Hide shook his head vehemently, fear in his eyes.

"Huh?" Touka scrutinized him. "What the hell kind of objection do you have?" She couldn't believe the human.

Hide somehow manage to speak under her heated glare. "They'll kill me."

Touka gawked at him. "But, you're one of them!"

Hide mumbled a refusal to that notion.

"Is it because you helped me?" When Hide didn't answer, Hinami almost started to cry again. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"

Touka put a hand on Hinami's shoulder, which helped her calm down a bit. "It's not your fault." She glowered at Hide out of the corner of her eye making him nod and agree enthusiastically.

Touka sighed. "Since you did help Hinami…" She grabbed him around the waist. "I suppose I won't let you die. Don't make me change my mind."

"Y-yeah."

…

Kanou smiled at the human floating before him. He flicked the needle with his index finger and removed any air bubbles. It was a shame Hide had run away. If he still had him he wouldn't have had to go through the trouble of kidnapping another human to test on.

He quickly grabbed the woman's I.V. and stuck the needle in, injecting the clear serum slowly. After a few seconds her body began to twitch violently. Her eyes opened, but did not appear to see. Her elicited reaction interested him. He had not seen one like this before.

He watched with fascination as the woman's legs slowly began to transform, turning into a tail of a pinkish gray color. When she stopped moving, Kanou quickly went to check her vitals. They were all good, perfect even.

The transformation was successful. He had finally done it. He had created a mermaid.

He placed his hand on the glass, trying to calm himself. He had to wait. There were still many tests he had to conduct and more trials he had to run. He had to be patient.

But he also had to be prepared.

…

Touka helped Hide up onto the shore none too gently. Hinami was watching quietly, lips pursed. Touka seemed eager to leave, quickly moving back into the deeper water without a word. When she noticed Hinami was not following she turned.

"Hinami?" She frowned.

Hinami bowed her head. "T-thank you!"

Hide smiled, Hinami's bashfulness reminding him of a certain someone. It was no wonder Kaneki got alone so well with Hinami. Yes, Kaneki told Hide about them briefly when he had asked. Hide knew without a doubt that these were the people Kaneki called his friends. He wanted to say something, to tell them about Kaneki's situation, but he didn't know what to say. How would they react? There wasn't anything they could do. Kaneki was detained on land. Hide was the only one who could help him. If he told them it would only cause them worry and stress, but they had the right to know.

"Touka, could I speak to you?" It would probably be best to tell her first. He didn't know how Hinami would react. Touka would know that far better.

She gave him a weird look for that, and an even weirder one when his eyes cut to Hinami and then back to her. She sighed, scowling. "Hinami, go back to meet up with Nishio."

Once Hinami left Touka turned to Hide expectantly. "Well?"

Hide frowned, and brought his knees to his chest, sitting in the shallow water. "You're Kaneki's friends, aren't you?"

Touka snorted. "I wouldn't go so far to call us – wait. How the hell do you know Kaneki?"

Hide looked down into the water. "That's a long story. But… I thought I should let you know…"

Touka's eyes bore into his skull. "Know what?"

Hide's voice was thick. 'He's in trouble."

"Again?" She looked at Hide incredulously. After a moment she clucked her tongue. "Actually that doesn't surprise me at all. Naive brat." Looking at Hide's face again her expression sobered. "Is it that bad? What happened?"

"There's this scientist on the island, Dr. Kanou. He's conducting research on mermaids." Hide inhaled sharply. "He captured Kaneki."

Touka examined the boy's face, his expression dark, eyes worrying. "What the hell are you doing here then?" She didn't know who he was, but he obviously cared about Kaneki. "Go get him."

He wanted to yell, to kick, to scream, to cry, but all he managed was an exasperated sigh. "What do you think I'm trying to do?"

Touka sent him a glare. "Then get off your ass, stop talking to me, and get to it!"

"What can I do though!? I'm not strong!" Hide's hands dug into his knees. "Every time I've tried to do something –"

Hide felt a sharp pain against his cheek, forcing his head to whip around. He pressed his hand against the burning skin, hissing at the pain. His eyes flicked up to Touka in shock.

"No one else can do anything. No one but you. So if you want to help him, you need to keep trying, no matter what. You won't get anything done by sitting here and whining about it."

Hide took in a shuddering breath. "Yeah." He nodded his head.

"Good." She pushed away, into the deep water.

Hide pushed himself up to his feet, his clothes dripping water. "Touka!"

She looked back one more time.

"Be careful."

…

It had been days since Kaneki had seen Hide. Kaneki was still in the same spot he had been in since he had first waken up. He had barely moved. It wasn't like he had the energy to. The constant examining and cutting of his body was draining, but he had worse. Though that thought wasn't one of comfort.

One of the few comforts was the faint smell of Hide throughout the building. While not doing anything else, it was simple to focus his senses on one thing. His sense of smell. As long as Hide was alive, he could smell him, and that meant the doctor had kept his promise.

There was another scent he caught onto. It was not the first time he smelt it. It was his mother. Was she in this place somewhere? The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed to be. Was what was happening to him right now the reason she told him to not trust anyone? Was it the reason she had gone missing so many years ago? Was she protecting him?

While he was spending a day pondering these thoughts, he realized something. Hide's smell was fading. He felt a tremor go down his spine and settle in his stomach. There was no way that could be. The doctor promised. He inhaled deeply again, disbelieving. It was definitely fading.

When the doctor came into the room with his cart Kaneki cocked his head toward him. "Where is Hide?"

The doctor started, pulling a needle from his jacket pocket, making his way over. Kaneki tugged roughly on his bindings.

"Where is Hide!?" Kaneki heard a crack as something gave way, whether it be from his bindings or from the table he was on, he didn't know.

In that moment the needle found Kaneki's neck, biting into his skin. Within a few moments Kaneki's body slumped into the table. The room spun around him, making him feel nauseated. His body felt light and when he tried to speak he found only a soft whisper came out.

The doctor went about his business as usual. "You think I killed him. You probably won't believe me when I tell you this, but I will anyway." A knife sliced into Kaneki's skin. "I didn't kill him. He ran away."

Kaneki didn't believe it. The doctor was lying. He had to be lying.

"I'm not." Did Kaneki ask his question out loud? He didn't know. He was too far gone. "He ran away. I don't blame him, and I don't think you should either."

Kaneki shook his head. It felt like his brain was bouncing back in forth in his skull as he did so, making him close his eyes at the sudden, unpleasant feeling.

"I know you probably don't want to acknowledge it. But, that's what it is. Honestly, I expected him to come back and cause trouble for me. I thought he cared enough for you that we would do so. But, I guess he thought you weren't worth it."

A low, keening sound escaped Kaneki's lips. He felt a tear run down his cheek. Kanou was lying. He had to be lying. But, Kaneki stuck with his answer, accepting it, because in his mind there was only one other possibility.

Hide was dead.

Kaneki would have rather thought Hide had abandoned him than think he was dead. As long as Hide was okay, Kaneki didn't care what happened to him. And if he was dead… Kaneki didn't even want to think about that.

…

Amon walked for the tenth time around the block. The conversation he had with the doctor had been bothering him all week. It wasn't just the experience he had with the silver-eyed man, it was also the doctor's reaction to his story. His instincts were acting up, telling him something was wrong, but he couldn't find anything to support that theory. He grit his teeth in his frustration, plowing ahead.

When he turned the corner he walked into someone for the second time that week. He cursed and offered his hand, still too absorbed in his thoughts to give a proper apology. When he yanked the man up, he was stuck with familiarity.

"You…" Amon looked down at the other man, with his beaten face and blonde hair. "…were there that day."

Hide recognized the man immediately. He was the one Kaneki was so eager to get away from in the market. When he glanced at the large man's clothes, he realized he was still in gear from his time on the boat. That meant he was a Dove.

Hide contemplated his options. He needed help. He needed to get Kaneki help. He knew there was no way an ordinary person could help him. Maybe the answer was right in front of him. It was a gamble… but it was probably the best chance he had.

He bowed his head, shaking in nervousness, not knowing if he was making the right decision. He begged that he was.

"…please. I need help." This could end up as a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for giving this story so much attention!


	19. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm about to fall asleep. Thankfully I finished this chapter. Please tell me if there's something weird, since I may have looked something over while proofreading (my eyes are totally glazing over).

Amon didn't know what he was doing. It went against everything logic was telling him to do. Hide was staying behind him, as ordered.

Amon clutched the cheap knife in his hand. When Hide told him his friend had been abducted and was being experimented on by the doctor, Amon knew every second counted. However, he also knew he couldn't barge into the place unprepared. He initially planned to go to Yoriko, but when he got to her house she wasn't there. He ended up having to stop by a small market stall as Hide hovered impatiently.

He opened the door slowly, ready to defend himself if he needed to. Maybe he should have brought backup. Suzuya, maybe? But, his conscience demanded him not to. He didn't even know if Hide was telling the truth.

He jumped as Hide pointed over his shoulder. "That way." Hide's lips were a thin line, face pale.

The more Amon thought of the situation, the more ridiculous it seemed. But, if Hide was telling the truth, then it was his fault. He was the one who told the doctor about his friend.

Their footsteps were uncomfortably loud in the quiet building. They eventually came to a large room that Hide knew well. The purple haired mermaid was still there, but there was an addition next to her tank.

The doctor stood by the tank, clipboard in hand. He was watching the purple haired lady as she thrashed around, mouth opened in a soundless scream. While Amon and Hide stood silently, transfixed, he wrote down a few notes diligently.

He pursed his lips when she stopped moving, kneeling down to investigate the changes to her body, shaking his head. He cursed, and at that moment his eye turned towards the two men awkwardly standing in the doorway. He froze in his shock, and narrowed his eyes.

Hide could feel Amon's body tense beside him. The second the larger man moved even an inch forward, Kanou took off, moving with more speed than Hide would have expected of a man of his age.

Amon seemed to hesitate, glancing from where Kanou went, back to Hide and then to Kanou's direction again. It took only a short and brief nod from Hide for Amon to go in pursuit.

Hide cast a look back at the tanks. It hurt him to leave the mermaid confined like that, but he didn't know quite how to handle the situation. How long could a mermaid live out of the water?

What he needed to do was find Kaneki before Amon came back. He made his way down the hallway, coming to the room he knew as Kaneki's. He struggled at pushing open the heavy metal door, but he eventually made it inside.

"Kaneki!" Hide saw his body still laying on the table and it suddenly felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He ran to the table, almost stumbling over his own feet in his haste.

"Hide?" Kaneki eyes were dull and glazed over. "Is that really you?" He was still suffering the effects of the drugs given to him. But thankfully, the doctor had just fed him, so Hide didn't have to see the wounds that were inflicted.

Hide cursed brushing Kaneki's hair out of his face. "What kind of question is that? Of course it's me. Who the hell were you expecting?"

A faint smile made its way onto Kaneki's lips. "I – I just…" He didn't have to say it. Hide already knew. Kaneki was expecting no one. The surprise and disbelief on Kaneki's face felt like knives stabbing through his heart. Kaneki really didn't think Hide was going to come back for him.

Hide worked on undoing Kaneki's bindings as quickly as he could.

Kaneki rubbed his numb arms as Hide helped him move into a sitting position. His head was spinning from the motion after being in the same position for so long. He couldn't believe he was with Hide again. He could feel the heat of Hide's body and his fingers as he ran them down Kaneki's face. The feeling made his chest hurt and his body shake.

Hide pulled Kaneki to his chest and he just couldn't hold it back anymore. Sobs wracked through Kaneki's body and he pushed his face against Hide, muffling the sound and also stealing a few whiffs of Hide's scent, trying to unsuccessfully calm himself. Hide's hand ran down his back and his voice was whispering into his ear. He couldn't understand what he was saying, but it didn't matter. Kaneki just wanted to hear his voice.

Kaneki's breathing was slowing and becoming less jagged. He could finally breathe properly. He cautiously moved his hands to Hide's shoulders and raised his head. He fought the urge to relax back into Hide as he whipped the remaining tears from his cheeks.

Kaneki reached his legs down to touch the floor and Hide instinctively held him around the waist, trying to offer what little support he could. Kaneki wobbled slightly, but was still able to stand on his own. The problem came when he started to try to walk. He almost fell and just caught himself, nearly pulling Hide down with him.

Hide guided him out of the room. "This way." He whispered, glancing around anxiously, causing Kaneki to tense.

"Is the doctor still around?"

"No." Hide's voice was tight, nervous.

Kaneki didn't understand. "Then who are you looking for?"

"I came here with a Dove. He's gone after Kanou, but I don't know when he will be back." Hide's arm tightened around Kaneki's waist as he picked up the speed of their walk.

It was when they were in the tank room that Kaneki suddenly stopped. Hide turned to see his gaze hooked on the purple haired woman. His next word sent a chill down Hide's spine.

"…mom." Kaneki sucked in an uneasy breath before walking tentatively over to her tank.

Hide followed him apprehensively. Kaneki's mother, the woman in the tank? Kaneki laid his hand against the side of the tank, eyes wide and vulnerable.

Hide jumped as Kaneki's mother opened her eyes, fingers on her one hand clawing at the tank while the other went to clasp at her throat. Her chest heaved as she coughed blood up. It looked strange, the way it curled in the water as the way smoke curled in the air.

"Mom!" Kaneki panged on the glass in panic. Small cracks webbed out from under Kaneki's fist. Seeing the damage, he drew back his hand again. With his next strike the glass shattered, slicing Kaneki's hand.

Kaneki quickly caught his mother as she fell, careful to not let her drop on the broken shards. He carried her over to a clean area, not minding the gashes made on his feet and the pieces of glass impaled in the soles. He gently laid her down, brushing the hair out of her face and turning her to the side, allowing her to clear her airway free of blood.

Kaneki's mother lifted her hand weakly, brushing his cheek once she was recovered. "I'm sorry."

"What? Why?" Kaneki's voice trembled.

"I promised your parents…" Her head lolled to the side, eyes focused on nothing. A thin trail of blood ran from her mouth, down her chin and dripped onto the floor. Hide winced every time he would hear the faint plop in the silence.

"Mom? Mom!" Kaneki clutched her to his chest tightly, tears running down his face as he continued to chant the word. He shook her shoulders lightly. "Mom. Mom, wake up… please…" Kaneki's voice was barely above a whisper. "I just found you… please don't leave…"

Hide moved, cautiously putting his hand on Kaneki's shoulder. The white haired boy flinched at the contact. "Kaneki." Hide spoke softly, careful to not be too loud. "She's gone."

Kaneki shook his head, rocking back and forth. "No. No no no no nonononono…."

Hide could see how much pain Kaneki was in. The man looked like he was about to break down completely. Hide hated being so blunt. He hated to have Kaneki go through so much pain. He would have wanted to give him time to recover, to hold him and help him in any way he could. But, they didn't have the luxury of time. The most important thing Hide thought he could do was keep Kaneki safe.

Hide carefully unraveled Kaneki's hands from around his mother, pulling him to his feet. Kaneki went along numbly as Hide led him from the room.

…

Amon lost Kanou. He only managed to catch sight of the man briefly when he chased after him. He was carrying a large suitcase that Amon guessed carried his research. When Amon turned one corner, he found that Kanou had disappeared. Amon ran on, thinking that the doctor had run ahead, but found no sight of him. So, he doubled back, sure he had missed something. He did. His fingers wiggled the loose gate leading down into the sewers. He entered, but knew he would only get lost and turned around searching them. There was no way he was going to find Kanou in there, so he withdrew.

Amon made his way back to the facility, hoping that Hide had found his friend. He had a lot of questions to ask him.

He could not exactly say he was shocked when he returned to find both Hide and Kaneki had gone missing. If anything, that answered one of his questions.

He sighed and surveyed the tank room. It was different than when he left it. The purple haired woman was laid on the ground, covered by what Amon remembered as Hide's jacket. Her skin was pale and she wasn't moving. Searching for her pulse, Amon found she had none. He looked sadly at her legs. They were some freakish mix between human legs and a mermaid's tail.

He felt sick to his stomach, realizing that the doctor's experiment was what probably killed her.

Blood was smudged across the floor, from the broken glass, to the woman's body where there was a small pool, and then out the doorway.

His gaze lifted, examining the room more thoroughly. Seeing something odd, he walked into another corner of the room. It was darker, so he couldn't see as well – he really wished he knew where the light switch was.

There was another tank that was full. Leaning closer, he could see a grayish pink tail and face he was familiar with.

"Yoriko."

…

Kanou clutched the suitcase to his chest, pausing to catch his breath. He was too damn old for putting up such a large chase. But, it was no matter. With the research he completed, he would no longer be the weak old man he once was. He could become stronger, faster, better. To humans he would be like a god.

But, there were a few more things he needed to do. His last experiment had failed. He needed to try again. He needed to complete his research. He could use a temporary facility. Hopefully that would be enough.

If he failed, he could die. The organization that was supplying him with his resources required compensation. He would have to give them what they wanted before he could complete what he wanted. That was the deal, and he knew better than to defy them.

They wouldn't be happy to hear of his circumstances, but with any luck an explanation of his latest findings would deter them from doing anything drastic.

He almost took a deep breath before thinking better of it. He breathed shallowly and stood, still quite winded. He slowly made his way through the sewers, making his way to the city's edge. He would make it to the rendezvous point and ask for the necessary materials. It wasn't like he could do much else.

He thought of the men and shuddered, hoping they were in a good mood that day. In his experience mermaids tended to be very fickle.


	20. Come Back to Me

Hide almost wished Kaneki would cry. It wasn't exactly true, but it was still a better alternative. Kaneki was sitting on the bed in silence, staring at the wall, eyes dull. When Hide spoke to him, his eyes would meet at his face, but Hide felt like they weren't really  _looking._  Yes, a sad, crying Kaneki was better than the Kaneki that retreated back into himself, cutting off all emotion. Hide at least knew what to do when Kaneki cried. He knew how to make him feel better, to comfort him. But, when he looked like he had died on the inside, leaving not a trace of his soul to shine through his eyes, Hide felt hopelessly lost. He didn't know how to reach him.

Dark circles shadowed his eyes. Hide didn't know how long it had been since the last time Kaneki had slept. Sometimes, he would see him lying down, and he had a hope that the man had finally slipped into a peaceful sleep, but then Hide would always notice his eyes open and staring at nothing.

Hide was getting tired himself, exhausted by both the mental and physical strain of looking after Kaneki for the past few days. It was only on occasion that Kaneki seemed to wake somewhat to give something of an answer, either a mumble or movement of his head to Hide's questions. Once even, he reached out to grasp Hide's hand, squeezing it lightly as if in search of solace. This always made Hide optimistic, but Kaneki reverted back to his quiet state every time.

Hide tried to be patient, but a few times a day he would have to retreat into the bathroom of the hotel room to hide his reactions. He didn't want Kaneki to see or hear him cry, or do anything that could potentially worsen his condition. Once he recuperated and gained control of himself again, Hide would once again join Kaneki, only to have the pressure force another breakdown a few hours later.

The cruel reality was Hide couldn't go on forever like that. He wished he could, but every day that passed he felt himself slipping more, and always at a faster rate. He could only last for so long.

On the sixth day, or maybe the seventh – Hide didn't know, time seemed to pass strangely during that period – Hide finally broke.

"Kaneki?" Hide brushed his hand against his cheek, eliciting no reaction. "Are you listening?" Still nothing, no acknowledgement to his presence. Hide was crumbling on the inside. He shook Kaneki's shoulders lightly, trying to grasp at what little sanity he could.

"Please? Kaneki.  _Please?_  Won't you say something?" Hide's voice shook, cracking in odd places. His tears welled up in his eyes until he could no longer see Kaneki's face clearly. He buried his face into Kaneki's chest, pulling himself closer to responding body, seeking some form of comfort. Of course he wouldn't receive anything. Hide knew that, but still, a small part of him still had faith. Seemingly on their own, Hide's nails dug into Kaneki's back. It should have been painful, but there was no flinch, no movement to say that Kaneki had felt anything.

"I'm sorry.  _I'm sorry!_ " Hide didn't realize he was beginning to shout. "If I had managed to come sooner none of this would have happened! If I came sooner we could have saved her! But I didn't." His voice lowered again as he sobbed against Kaneki's neck. "I'm so sorry, Kaneki. She's dead. She's dead, but you're still alive. So am I. So please, don't do this. Come back to me."

Hide felt Kaneki twitch, but he hardly noticed, his emotions forcing him to continue. "Do you think she would want this Kaneki? She was your mother. Don't you know how much it would hurt her, and how much it hurts me to see you like this?"

Hide heard a small sound and looked up. Kaneki lips were pressed together, trying to stop them from trembling, eyes narrowed as he concentrated. It was the most emotion Hide had seen him give since being in the doctor's facility. As Kaneki trembled, Hide could practically see the wall Kaneki had built up collapsing.

Gripping his wrist, he pulled Kaneki to his chest just in time to muffle him sorrowful wail. Hide felt Kaneki's chest sporadically expand as he tried to fit in breaths between his cries. Kaneki's arms wrapped around Hide, holding him tightly. Hide ignored the pain and rubbed Kaneki's back soothingly.

When Kaneki's throat was raw, his cries quieted to soft hiccups and eventually disappeared completely. He stayed completely still and Hide expected to pull back to see his eyes open and staring blankly again. He was surprised, but relieved to see them closed, Kaneki breathing deeply and evenly in his sleep.

...

Kaneki couldn't exactly describe how he felt when he woke up. Guilt? Ashamed? Not a single one of them fit. Awful pretty much summed it up. His eyes caught on Hide and his tired, pained expression, even when he was asleep. He looked like he had lost some weight as well.

Kaneki reached out, the motion now feeling alien to him, and lightly brushed Hide's hair out of his face. It was untamed and looked like it hadn't been washed or brushed for many days. Hide was probably so focused on taking care of him that he neglected himself.

Hide stirred under Kaneki's hand, making him frown. Kaneki hoped he hadn't woken him up. He needed the sleep.

Sure enough, Hide's eyes opened, slowly focusing on Kaneki's still swollen face from the night before. His eyes were sad, but Hide far preferred them that way than to Kaneki's lifeless eyes.

Kaneki's mouth formed the words, his voice hoarse. "I'm sorry too."

Hide blinked, confused in his state, thinking that he was dreaming again. Kaneki was talking to him. Even if it was a dream, Hide would never be able to stop himself from responding to Kaneki's openness. He pulled him to his chest, realizing he felt far too warm and real to be a dream. Hide's eyes pricked as he ran his hand through the soft, white hair.

Hide stiffened at the sound of his stomach growling. He hadn't exactly been eating right for the past while. Kaneki pulled back from the embrace with a slightly forced smile.

"Go eat."

Hide shook his head, trying to pull Kaneki back. "It can wait."

"Go eat."

Hide opened his mouth again, with what Kaneki guessed was another objection. Much to Hide's pleasure, Kaneki leaned towards him again, one arm slipping around his back.

He wasn't expecting another one to slide under his knees as Kaneki hoisted him up. They didn't have any food in the hotel, so they would have to go out to get this. Knowing that, Kaneki carried Hide to the bathroom. He set Hide down on the toilet seat making the blonde grumble and filled the tub with warm water.

"Kaneki…"

Another sad smile. "You've taken care of me for the past few days. So shut up and let me wash your hair for you." Kaneki turned, switching the tap off. When he looked back Hide still had his clothes on. He gave the man a pointed look.

Hide relented, thinking it was best to do what Kaneki wanted. He quickly stripped and moved to carefully get in the water. He was surprised when Kaneki's hand grasped his, pulling him to a stop. Kaneki's other hand gently probed the yellowing bruises along Hide's ribs.

"Do they hurt?" Kaneki's voice was soft.

Hide's expression relaxed. "Not that bad."

Kaneki nodded and release Hide, allowing him to climb into the tub. Hide sighed when he sunk into the water. It felt really nice after so long. So did Kaneki's hands as they ran through his hair, cleaning it. He peeked an eye open, sneaking a look at Kaneki's expression.

Kaneki caught him. His mouth turned down at the ends, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "What is it?"

"Just thinking." Hide decided to keep the mood lighthearted. He couldn't tell Kaneki was he was really thinking:

About how sad Kaneki's eyes were, about how he worried about his sudden silences and how this little bit of sunshine of Kaneki returning to something of himself might not last.

He couldn't tell Kaneki about his gnawing fear of him relapsing.

"About what?" The question came out of Kaneki's mouth automatically, making Hide wonder if he was truly curious, or if he was just running on auto-pilot.

Hide hummed. "About how you should join me next time."

"Join you with what?"

Hide groaned. "In the tub. I'm asking you to take a 'bath' with me."

"Isn't the tub a little small for both of us?" Kaneki cocked his head to the side, confused.

Hide blinked and started laughing. "That's the point."

"I still don't get it."

That only made Hide laugh more. "Think on it for a bit. Maybe you'll get it."

Hide's mood did seem to help Kaneki a little. For the first time that day he found himself smiling genuinely.

He found he enjoyed the small trip outside the hotel, to pick up food for Hide at the nearby corner store. The sudden return to normalcy was disorienting and felt wrong, like it was something he shouldn't have done. But, Hide had been right. No matter how wrong it felt, he would make an effort to continue. His mother wouldn't have wanted him to live a life of sorrow or mourn her death in the way he had. She would have wanted him to be happy. And… he really wanted to be happy too.

Taking one look at Hide's smiling face he felt a warmth and he knew he was the person who could always make him happy, even in the darkest of situations.

He sat with Hide at a small table near the market. Hide was talking exuberantly, waving his hands about when they weren't holding food or stuffing it in his mouth. He watched him fondly as he talked, not attention at all to what he was saying. Hide knew he wasn't, so he just went on and on with the first thing that came to his mind, marveling over the changes in Kaneki's eyes as he thought.

"Should we go back now?"

"Hmm?" Kaneki noticed the change in tone and realized a question was being directed at him.

Hide was done eating. "Want to go back to the hotel?"

Kaneki nodded and followed Hide. Eying an alleyway he saw on his way to the store, he grasped Hide by the wrist. Hide yelped in surprise as he was dragged into the shadow of it and suddenly trapped up against a wall, with hands pressed on either side of his shoulders.

His breathing quickened as Kaneki dropped his forearms against the wall, close enough that their chests were almost touching. He bit back a moan as he met Kaneki's burning gaze.

Hide jumped when Kaneki bit his lip, surprised with his unusual assertiveness. Kaneki's hands moved to travel his body, over his face, through his hair and slipping under his shirt to grip his bare back.

When he finally pulled back Hide's lips were swollen and as red as his cheeks. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "What was that for?"

Kaneki appeared to be amused  _of all things_. He wiggled his hand, showing of dusty fingers from rubbing against the alley way. "I realized what you meant about the bath."

Hide gaped at him rubbed at his dirty cheek. "You…"

Kaneki gripped Hide's hand and motioned in the direction of the hotel. "Are you coming or not?"

"Of course I am." Really, with Kaneki's warm hand wrapped around his and the  _looks_  he kept sending Hide, Hide could hardly bare the anticipation on the way to the apartment. He prided himself for his self-control not pulling Kaneki back into another empty alley.

When they finally made it through the door of the hotel room, Kaneki could feel Hide's body as it tensed to spring. Hide moaned as he pressed Kaneki up against the back of the door, lips latching onto Kaneki's neck immediately. Kaneki sighed and easily picked the man up and threw him over his shoulder.

Hide gasped. "H-hey. Kaneki, what –"

"You aren't behaving. At least wait for the bath you promised." Hide was about to argue that he never promised anything, but the thought quickly escaped him as Kaneki set him down.

Hide was presented with a new idea which he took a liking to immediately. He smirked. If Kaneki wanted to play, then he could too. "Okay." He removed his clothes and started to fill the tub. "A bath it is then."

He hopped in as soon as it was full, leaving a disgruntled Kaneki to hesitantly climb in after him. Hide poured some shampoo in his hand and waggled his eyebrows. "Turn around. I let  _you_  wash  _my_  hair this morning."

Kaneki mumbled and obediently turned his back to Hide, siting between his legs. Whereas at another time, Kaneki would have relished the sensation of Hide's hands, he fidgeted under them. Hide didn't say anything, feeling not very content at that moment. He wanted far more, but he could wait and watch Kaneki squirm for a while before doing anything.

Kaneki slid back, intentionally rubbing against Hide, making him jolt.

Hide narrowed his eyes. "Bad Kaneki." Hide flicked water in his face.

Kaneki froze for a minute, before turning and raising his eyes. The next second Hide was sputtering and spitting water out of his mouth. It turned into a war of sorts between the two. Hide was giggling uncontrollably and nearing the end even Kaneki began to laugh, both of them completely ignoring that they would have to spend quite some time later in the day to clean up their mess.

Hide planted a playful kiss on the corner of Kaneki mouth and their fight was over when Kaneki deepened the kiss. Hide fumbled for the plug behind him, giving up when Kaneki began his insistent nipping on his bottom lip. Hide moaned and reached down, rubbing his hand against Kaneki's inner thigh.

"W-wait. Shouldn't we clean up first?" Kaneki placed his hand over Hide's, weakly pulling at it without much motivation.

Hide grinned. "We will do that later. Bedroom? Right now."

He grasped Kaneki's hand and led him to the bed, leaving the bathroom as it was. When he reached the foot of the bed his feet were swept out from under him. As he was disoriented Kaneki pinned him, sucking at the hollow of his neck. Hide groaned, lifting his hips.

Kaneki smiled, shaking his head. He pushed Hide's hips back down and when Hide's hands began to explore, Kaneki pinned them above his head. He took them in one of his hands, so that his other was free to tease Hide.

Hide's lips trembled as he struggled to move and stay still at the same time. He licked his lips. "Please…"

Kaneki lowered his head and whispered deeply into Hide's ear. "What was that?"

"Please let me move."

Kaneki released Hide and allowed him to flip him over. He was breathing heavy and attacked Kaneki's neck, forcing small, uneven sounds from white haired man's mouth. When Hide was satisfied with the mess he made of Kaneki, with his red face, panting breath and trembling body, he moved his hands down to his hips, kneading the flesh.

"Do you want to try something different tonight?" With Hide's erection pushed up against him he couldn't – didn't want to – say no.

He nodded and let out a frustrated noise when Hide slid off him. He was about to open his mouth to complain when Hide ran back to him with an apology, carrying a small bottle. "What is that?"

Hide flushed. "You'll see in a minute." He placed it down on the bed beside them, pulling Kaneki into another kiss, trying to get back in the mood.

When Kaneki was adequately distracted Hide reached over to the bottle, squeezing some of the contents over the fingers on his right hand. Kaneki jerked away from the sensation of something brushing against his hole.

"You okay?" Hide froze, waiting for Kaneki's answer.

Kaneki swallowed. "Y-yeah. Keep going. I trust you."

Hide moaned and brushed his lips against Kaneki's. "Relax." He rubbed Kaneki's waist with his left hand.

Kaneki laughed nervously. "S-sorry."

Kaneki relaxed a little, but not nearly enough to tell Hide he could continue. He bit his lip. "Would it help if I talked to you while I did things –"

"I- What?"

"If I told you all things I wanted to do to you while I did them… for example…"

Kaneki squeaked and put his hand over Hide's mouth. "N-no! That's…!" He yelped again when Hide took the opportunity to lick Kaneki's one finger, slipping it into his mouth and sucking lightly.

"Ah…" Kaneki placed his free hand over his face, embarrassed by the overly lecherous look on Hide's face. "…Hide."

" _Yes?"_  Another suck on his finger.

Kaneki shuddered. "Get back up here."

Hide laughed, kissing his way up Kaneki's arm, happy he had been able to bring another smile to the mermaid's face. Kaneki pressed his nose in the crook of Hide's neck, inhaling deeply as he guided Hide's hand back around him.

He jumped again when Hide pressed is middle finger against him, but kept encouraging him so Hide so he wouldn't pull back away. He shuddered when Hide pushed the finger in deeper.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, damn it." Kaneki roughly pulled Hide into another kiss, rolling his tongue against his. He offered a small moan when Hide slowly thrust the single digit in and out.

Kaneki barely noticed the second finger before Hide started scissoring them, causing a burning sensation. He sucked on Hide's ear lobe, the pain not being so much that it detracted from the pleasure.

Hide watched Kaneki's face as he added his third digit. His eyelids fluttered, and his lips were parted as he gasped, arching is back. Hide ran his left hand over his chest, pinching and rubbing. When he thought Kaneki was ready he withdrew his hand, producing a whimper from Kaneki.

Hide added lubrication to his penis before brushing the head up against Kaneki's opening. "Ready?"

"Y-yeah." Kaneki grabbed a hold of Hide's hair as he slowly pushed in.

Hide didn't even go in half way before slowly pulling back out. When he began to sink into him again, Kaneki wrapped his legs around his waist, keeping him in place. He flushed deeply as he tighten his hold, heels digging into Hide's back and drawing him in deeper.

" _Kaneki_." Hide moaned, quivering. He tried going slow, because he didn't want to hurt Kaneki, but it seemed he was having none of that.

His lover flipped them over, digging his knees into the bed as he pressed down fully. "You're too slow."

Hide's chuckle got stuck in his throat when Kaneki raised up and suddenly dropped back down. Kaneki continued to move experimentally, getting used to the feeling of Hide inside him, the pain slowly fading. When he found a spot he liked – really liked – his hands dropped on either side of Hide, the feeling so intense he had to pause for a second, squeezing his eyes shut.

When he opened them Hide was watching him fondly. When Hide saw Kaneki noticed his stare, he grinned. "Sorry, that lewd expression of yours is kind of captivating."

"Sh-shut up!" He moved again, searching for the spot he found before.

Hide flipped him back over, hands digging into his hips. Hide thrust into that spot making Kaneki jerk, his muscles tensing. He leaned down pressing his lips to Kaneki's. The man was barely able to kiss back through his moans and pants.

Kaneki gasped and his muscles tightened around Hide as he came, forcing him to reach his peak as well. Hide slowly withdrew and pulled Kaneki into his arms, stroking his back.

"Mmm." Kaneki gently pressed his lips against Hide's again, pulling back when he tasted blood. He must have bitten Hide when he had his orgasm. He paled. "…sorry."

"Don't be." Hide lifted his chin and continued the kiss. Kaneki relaxed and yearned to deepen the kiss, but resisted the urge as Hide pulled back and rest his forehead against Kaneki's.

Hide promptly feel asleep and Kaneki waited, watching him with affection before slowly getting up and covering him with a blanket.

_Someone_  needed to clean up the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you go onto my profile you can use the link there to view an awesome fanart from the amazing tumblr user: investigatorsuzuya.


	21. Searching

Hide was still snoring when Kaneki woke up in the late afternoon. He marveled at the man's ability to take up nearly the whole bed with this limbs flung about in different directions. He kissed the blonde's cheek, making him stir and slowly open his eyes.

"Morning." He mumbled, burying his face into Kaneki's hair.

"It's afternoon, actually."

Hide blinked and hummed. Suddenly shot up, fumbling with the blanket tangled in his legs. " _Shit! The bathroom!_ " He mumbled something about water damage, panicked.

Kaneki wrapped his arms around Hide, hugging his waist. "I cleaned up last night. Don't worry about it."

"Oh." He relaxed back down and sat cross-legged. "How do you feel?"

"Good."

Hide smirked and nibbled on Kaneki's ear. "I'll give myself credit for that."

Kaneki snorted and flicked Hide in the forehead. " _Please._ " He settled into Hide's arms as he laughed.

Hide's arms tightened around him and Kaneki stiffened, remembering the realization he had the last night while cleaning. He pursed his lips. He wanted to stay like he was for a little longer, but he knew the longer he waited…

"Is something wrong?" Hide purred, mistaking Kaneki's reaction for a different one entirely, which was quite rare. But, Kaneki had to guess Hide would never have guessed where their conversation led.

Kaneki kissed Hide back when he leaned in, but gradually detached himself after a few seconds. Hide slowly blinked, surprised.

"There is something wrong… isn't there?" Hide rubbed his lips together, looking down. "Was it something I did? I'm sor –"

"No! No." Kaneki grasped Hide's face between his hands, thumbs tracing his cheekbones. "You did nothing wrong... Hide, I…" He clenched his teeth and Hide waited expectantly. "Let's go for a walk?"

Hide nodded, his eyebrows drawing together in worry.

Kaneki grasped Hide's hand, drawing him out of the apartment, out of the city, through the forest and to the lagoon. He didn't say a word to Hide all the way, making the blonde's anxiety build. Hide tightened his hold on Kaneki's hand, but he didn't seem to notice, too deep in thought.

When they came to the lagoon Kaneki directed them over to the rock, taking a seat and watching the sun as it slowly set on the horizon, dying the surface of the water a dark orange, fading to a deep blue as it disappeared from sight.

Kaneki took a sharp breath, not sure what to say, where to begin.

"Why did you bring me here, Kaneki?" Hide's voice was tight, despite how hard he tried to keep it soft.

Kaneki rubbed his chin, pursing his lips as if to begin, before dropping his hand and looking off to the horizon again.

"Kaneki?" Hide's hand rubbed his knee. "Didn't I tell you before you could talk to me? Say what you need to say. It'll be okay."

Kaneki huffed and put his hand over Hide's. He wasn't so sure it would be. He knew his words would hurt Hide and that was something he never wanted to do.

"I…" He struggled to find the right words, staring intently at the stars as if they would present them to him. "I'll be leaving for a while…"

He felt Hide become rigid. "What do you mean by a while?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I don't know how long it will take."

Hide's voice shook. "Why?"

"I'm worried. Worried that you're going to get hurt because of me." He curled his hand against Hide's, holding it tightly.

Hide swallowed. "So you're just leaving then, because you think I'll get hurt if I stay with you?  _Kaneki!_  I want to be with you! I don't care if I get hurt! I just want to be with you! Are you even going to come  _back!_?"

Kaneki flinched. "Yes. Yes, I will. But, I don't know when I will come back."

" _Why?_ " Hide wasn't expecting something like this…

"I need to know who I am, Hide.  _What_  I am. I need to know who – if anyone – will come after me like the doctor did. I need to make the first move. I couldn't bear them hurting you while trying to get to me again." There was another thing he wasn't telling Hide. He needed to get stronger. He needed to get stronger so that by the time he got back to Hide, he would be able to protect him. As long as he wasn't with Hide, and Hide stayed hidden and out of trouble, he should be fine.

"There… there is no way to change your mind… is there?" Hide exhaled slowly, closing his eyes.

"No. I need to do this. For  _us._ "

Hide nodded sadly and leaned into Kaneki in question. Kaneki pulled him into a hug, needing Hide's support almost as much as Hide needed his.

"I'll miss you." Hide whispered.

"I will too. I'll think of you all the time."

Hide's breath hitched. "Are you going right now? Is that why we're here?"

"Yes." Kaneki kissed his forehead. He had an idea where to start looking, or rather who he had to go to, to start his search.

Hide sighed and pulled back from the embrace. He helped Kaneki remove his clothes and helped him hide them in the forest, for when he would return. He watched as Kaneki disappeared into the water.

He uttered the words he didn't yet have the nerve to say to Kaneki. "I love you."

…

_**Six Months Later** _

Over the past few months Kaneki got quite used to ignoring his voice. He rarely seemed to say something important and far too often used phrases in languages Kaneki couldn't understand, which was just plain frustrating.

"Très Bien! Kaneki, are you listening to me?"

Kaneki grunted. "Not at all, Tsukiyama."

He glared at the bright man, the outrageous and matching color of his tail and hair almost hurt his eyes to look at. They were almost as outrageous as the personality of the man they were given to.

Kaneki cracked his finger and Tsukiyama quickly shut up, realizing the younger man probably wasn't in the mood to put up with his voice. He never was too cheery when they came back from one of their investigations. The mission they just completed was just another unsuccessful one, and Kaneki was getting more agitated as time dragged on, his patience waning.

"Leave." The way Kaneki looked at him, it seemed he didn't have a choice.

"Oui." Tsukiyama sunk back into ocean. He always took Kaneki's threats seriously. Over the past while Kaneki had gotten more powerful, much more powerful, in ways he didn't think the once gentle boy was capable of.

He knew what Kaneki had to do to become stronger tormented the boy on the inside, yet he continued to do so, deliberately and diligently. Could a single human really mean so much to him? To go to such extents…

Though he supposed he was not one to judge. He had gone to quite some extents himself for Kaneki, though he did have a much different purpose. He licked his lips, his mouth watering at the very thought of Kaneki's scent. He so desperately wanted just a taste, but the fulfilling need to completely devour him overshadowed that desire and forced Tsukiyama to wait. He wouldn't let a meal he had been preparing for so long be spoiled and ruined in his haste.

Above the water, Kaneki frowned at the silence. But, he did prefer it to Tsukiyama's constant chatter. Still, it was uncomfortable and left room for some of Kaneki's thoughts about the night intrude as he methodically washed away some of the blood that had permeated the pores of his face and made its way into the depths of his hair.

He could hear the crunching of bones as he broke them relentlessly, starting with the fingers and moving slowly up the arm… He hated to do it above the water. He hated to hear their screams. But, he needed information and for that his victims needed to speak. He could still hear the screams, the cries and the voices begging him to stop. He heard them begging for their death and he heard their sigh as he finally decided they knew nothing and ended their suffering by consuming their flesh.

He could still taste the blood in the back of his mouth. It was sickening, worse than any other thing he had ever tasted. It was even worse than how Yamori tasted. Sure, in a way it was the same meat, the same breed, the same species, but the taste of the ones he ate now were laced with guilt. It left the flavor clinging to the back of his throat for days. Though he knew the people he killed were guilty of being unnecessarily cruel, in both the arena and to the human victims they caught, he couldn't help but feel nauseous at ending their lives. Sure, they were killers, but so was he. The only difference was that he only killed his own kind.

He was always adverse to killing humans, though he used to be very adverse to killing mermaids as well. Now, he killed and ate them on a regular basis. He supposed, that maybe it was because of Hide that he couldn't bring himself to kill a human… if he killed a human, he didn't think he could ever bring himself to be with Hide again, despite the man's accepting and understanding behavior. He was afraid Hide wouldn't forgive him for his grievances. How could he, when he didn't even forgive himself?

He scowled at the stars which seemed to be mocking him with their brightness. How many lives had he taken? How many stars had he extinguished? It wasn't like he had lost count. No, if he wanted to he could perfectly recall every person he had killed and how he killed them. But, he didn't want to face that reality, he didn't want to think about it, so he pushed it to the back of his mind where only the faint whispers of memories could touch him. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the feeling and the taste at the back of his throat that just  _would not go away._

Forcing the thoughts from his brain to the best of his ability, he let his mind wander to a certain blonde with a smile that seemed to cast off all of the menacing shadows threatening to consume him from the inside-out. He wondered how Hide was doing.

…

Hide sat with his legs crossed, his hair pulled back into a low ponytail, though most of the hair near his face was too short and hung loose, framing it. He sighed, pursing his lips. It seemed he had himself a rather… strange situation. He wasn't exactly sure the way it was going to play out. Especially since Kaneki was gone.

He tried to not think about that too much, since it always brought a pain to his chest. Why hadn't he even come to visit him?

"Hmmm." He balanced his elbows on his knees, considering.

The tall, dark haired Dove was sitting with his head bowed. The girl beside him, who Hide had to admit was very pretty, looked very nervous. He guessed it had been extremely hard on her.

He really, really wished Kaneki was with him.

Hide rubbed his temple. "I guess I'll have to help you myself then." He let out a sigh. It wasn't exactly like he could leave them on their own. When it came to half mermaids, he was the best person available to them at the moment.

Amon and Yoriko, huh?


	22. Stranger

"You came here for Kaneki." It wasn't a question. It was a statement of fact.

Amon nodded slowly, warily. Yoriko folder her hands in her lap.

Hide frowned. "I'm sorry. I don't know where he is."

" _What._ " Amon's voice was sharp from surprise.

Hide winced and gently rubbed his hands together. "I said I don't know where he is. He left six months ago and I haven't heard from him since."

Amon silently sat back. "Then what are we supposed to do?"

"Well, I don't know. What did you want for him? Like I said, I'll have to help you myself."

Amon huffed. He wanted help with  _everything_ and  _anything_. He didn't know where to begin. He had so much to ask.

Yoriko started for him, her voice shaking as she withheld her tears. "I can't do it. I…  _can't._  Amon brings bits and pieces to me, but…" Her voice rasped as she sucked in a sudden breath, turning her head towards the floor.

Amon nudged her shoulder with his. "As an investigator I have the right to inspect the bodies in the morgue in the hospital, to determine if any deaths are related to mermaids. It's been easy to slip out organs from bodies that have already been autopsied."

"Is there any other way?" Yoriko begged. "I don't want to be a – a…" She pressed her lips together.

A monster. Yoriko didn't have to finish for Hide to know. She felt like a monster. She, who was once human, now had to devour flesh. She had become a mermaid, something that was greatly feared and hated in the city.

"No. I don't believe there is. I'm sorry." Hide hated to say it. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to eat other people. 

"…is that so…" Yoriko sounded upset.

Hide frowned, something tugging at the back of his mind. "Ah! Wait!" Over the course of Hide knowing Kaneki there was only one human thing he seemed to enjoy. "There might be something! I'll be right back!"

…

"An informant?" Kaneki prodded at the broken bone, making the woman scream. He watched with his eyes narrowed as blood trickled down from her chin and fell into the water with a soft plopping sound. When she didn't respond immediately, he put more pressure on the bone, adding another break further up it. "Answer the question." He was tired of it.

The woman's lips formed words, but all that came out was a gargled chock. He leaned down closer to the woman's mouth, listening intently. He wasn't worried about being bitten. Even if he was, he would heal quickly. He began healing far faster ever since he had begun cannibalism.

"Itori." The name was coughed out.

Kaneki had to confirm he had heard right. "Itori?"

The woman hesitantly nodded and relaxed when more pain didn't come. She looked up at Kaneki's hard gaze with an ill-found hope.

"Where do I find this Itori?" Kaneki leaned back, hoping the woman would give him more information once she saw he backed off when he got some answers.

She woman's eyes lit up and she began to talk more vigorously, spitting blood and saliva in the water as she forced the words from her mouth. "You can usually find her near the cliff of death." Kaneki nodded waiting for her to continue, pleased that he knew where that was. "I've heard she has some ties with Uta and that peaceful group that lives near there." She went on, briefly describing the woman's description.

Kaneki smiled kindly. "Thank you." At least now he had a good starting point. He hoped the informant, Itori, would give some good information, like the woman had promised.

The woman smiled back. "Am I free to go…?"

Kaneki pulled his lips up more, revealing his bared teeth. "Sorry, but I am rather hungry." The woman barely had the chance to scream as he plunged his face into her neck, tearing at the thin muscles. Blood from her artery shot up impressively high.

…

Yoriko seemed to calm slightly as she took her first sip of the coffee. Her eyes lit up when she took another, burning her tongue. Hide smiled wryly at her reaction. It reminded him of Kaneki's when he first got a whiff of coffee when Hide was making it. Hide remembered him impatiently standing over his shoulder, waiting for the dark liquid to finish brewing, curious and awed. Truly, it was the only thing the two could share like that. Hide never really did like coffee before, and only drank it for its effects, but as soon as he found Kaneki enjoyed it, he suddenly found its flavour less bitter and it wasn't so bad when he added some sugar. After Kaneki had left, Hide kept drinking it.

"Thank you." Yoriko whispered in a small voice. "For the coffee. Even though you couldn't help us much, I really enjoyed talking to another human who knew…"

Hide blinked. "S-sure. Uh –" He rubbed the back of his head. "Come back if you want to. I like talking and…" He had been rather lonely ever since Kaneki had left.

Yoriko nodded enthusiastically. "I own the blacksmith's near the market. Come visit me sometime."

Both of them bowed as they left. They hadn't gotten much information, but Amon could tell the air Yoriko carried with her was a bit lighter than it was before.

…

"Calmato, Kaneki." Tsukiyama purred behind him.

Kaneki scowled. "How many times to I have to tell you, I have no idea what you're saying."

"Ah, mon ami petit! If only you would listen!" Tsukiyama shock his head and wiggled his finger. "I've told you before…"

His voice faded as Kaneki turned away. "I don't care to hear it." Really, Kaneki wouldn't have minded to learn new words, even in another language. But, he definitely did not Tsukiyama to be the one to teach him them. Besides, he had bigger problems to work on.

Tsukiyama followed Kaneki like a stray puppy as he took off, heading towards the cliff of death. It had been a while since he had been close to there. It brought up thoughts of the lagoon, but Kaneki pushed them away. He didn't want to be tempted. He wanted to go back to Hide so bad, even just to visit him, but he worried he would lose the motivation to continue what he was doing. He had been at it too long and there was too much of a risk for him to drop it. He needed to be able to keep Hide safe, then he could return.

When Kaneki surfaced briefly he heard Tsukiyama's voice call out to him. "Are we going to go visit our old friends?"

Kaneki snorted. "I hardly think they consider you a friend, Tsukiyama."

Kaneki really hoped Touka would give him the answers he needed if he asked nice enough. She wasn't someone Kaneki would ever hurt. If she didn't give him anything, it could be a dead end.

It had been so long since he had seen them. He wondered how they were doing… and also what they would think of him. That part worried Kaneki the most. He entered the cave nervously, Tsukiyama close beside him.  _Too close_. Kaneki was itching it swat at him, but he didn't want to misbehave in his friend's presence.

Tsukiyama surfaced first, as he always did. It was some ridiculous notion of his, it was that he had to protect Kaneki in case there was some threat lurking above the water. Kaneki thought it was stupid, but he wouldn't complain.

Kaneki heard Touka's annoyed voice. "Ugh. Tsukiyama. What the hell do you want now?"

"Touka! It is good to see you again! Are you doing well? What about little Hinami?" Tsukiyama waved his hands about.

Kaneki didn't have time for niceties. He roughly pushed Tsukiyama out of his line of sight. Touka's eyes fell on him and narrowed suspiciously. "Kaneki?"

He smiled, trying to mimic the way him mouth used to move and failed tragically. "That's right. If you don't mind I have a question or two for you."

Touka pursed her lips. "Fine, but he," a point at Tsukiyama, "stays here."

That made Tsukiyama pout. He looked like he was going to argue, but Kaneki shut his mouth with a glare. He clenched his teeth together, facing melting into one of displeasure briefly before he flashed his signature smile again. "But, of course."

Kaneki followed Touka into another section of the cave before she turned to him. He stared blankly at a glare that would have made him cower so many months ago.

"You  _do_  remember me telling you to stay away from him,  _right?"_  She snarled.

"Yes?"

" _Yes?_  What the hell is that? If you remember, then why are you being all buddy-buddy with him?" Her eyes turned black, a sign of her rage, making Kaneki sigh. "You do realize his goal is to eat you, right? Get that into that thick skull of yours!" She poked him in the forehead roughly.

"Yes, I do realize that. But, for now, he is useful and I will keep him around as long as he is."

Touka gaped at him. "What the fuck do you mean  _useful_? What could he be useful for? Kaneki what have you gotten yourself into?"

Kaneki frowned. "Not something I wanted to get myself into, but I didn't have too much of a choice. Look, are you going to answer my questions or not?"

Touka glared. "As long as you leave right after. I don't want Hinami getting involved."

Kaneki felt relieved. "Neither do I… I was looking for a woman known as Itori, an informant. Do you know where I can find her?"

" _God, Kaneki –"_

"Do you?" He pressed, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes." He listened intently as to where to find the woman. "You do realize her information won't come for free? She will only tell you something if it is worth her while."

"Then I guess I had better make it worth her while." Kaneki cracked his fingers, pondering what he could offer.

Touka glanced away. "If you have what you want, then get the fuck out."

Kaneki nodded and backed away, leaving Touka to herself. She had a feeling he was involved in something bad, really bad. She thought back to when she found him floating in a pool of his own blood. If he kept up what he was doing, that was likely how he was going to end his life too.

That boy she had met, Hide. He said that Kaneki was in trouble. What happened to him, and what kind of trouble was Kaneki in that caused such a change in him? He was with Tsukiyama – of all people. She would have expected for Kaneki to come to them, his friends, if he needed help. Instead, he went to Tsukiyama. That made her stomach turn over. Sure, she could handle herself, and she was positive Kaneki knew she could. What was so bad that he wouldn't want to get them involved?

Her spine straightened, as she remembered a small bit of information given to her as a passing warning from a fellow mermaid. He told her about a white haired cannibal who went around capturing and torturing information out of mermaids. Her mind jumped to Kaneki and his new white hair. Could he have possibly… no. There was no way. She couldn't shake the image of the timid boy who jumped and frightened so easily. There was no way Kaneki was capable to something so gruesome. But… she couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling or the sad look in his eyes when he looked at her. She wanted to deny it, but she was overcome by the feeling that the Kaneki that was as of now was no longer someone she knew.


	23. Betrayal

Touka didn't know what was happening.

She remembered Kaneki had just left and she was in the cave, pondering what had just occurred.

The next moment she remember hearing Hinami's shrill cries. Nishio was shouting and then – it all suddenly stopped. As soon as it had begun the cave grew silent again. The only thing she could hear was the soft sound of water droplets falling from the ceiling and the uneasy swaying of her tail.

Dark hair spawned from the water, revealing a head adorned with a cute face, though there was always something creepy and unsettling about that face that made her shiver. But, at that moment, the only emotion that existed was relief. Through many years she had grown to trust him through his actions and words.

"Uta! What's happening? What –"

She was wrong to trust him. When he reached for her throat, suffocating her, that insight became painfully true.

…

"How did you hear of me?" The mermaid twirled her hair between her fingers. She appeared to be utterly bored, switching between looking at the wall and examining Kaneki's face. It seemed like she was paying no attention to what he was saying, but Kaneki knew it was an act. As an informant she would grasp onto whatever information she could. The way he worded things, his posture, his actions, his attitude. These were all things she would watch for, and many more. He had to watch himself and behave carefully and try not to give anything away. Though, he was sure she would also deduct something from that too.

"I was recommended to you." He said as clearly as he could, keeping his face blank.

Tsukiyama was a few feet away. Kaneki tried to convince him to stay away, but he wouldn't. He ominously glared at Itori much to Kaneki's disdain. How he managed to look scary while still holding his appearance as a clown was a mystery.

Itori was staring at him, raising her eyebrows. "Oh, who were you recommended by?"

"I was asked to keep that confidential."

"Hmmm?" Itori leaned in, uncomfortably close. It took him a second to realize she was sniffing his neck. "Based on the scent of blood that clings to you, I would have to guess you killed one of my loyal customers. Well – I guess they couldn't have been  _too_  loyal." She smirked at Kaneki's hard expression. "Ah. So I  _was_  right then."

Her piercing gaze was very different from the earlier, distant stare. It made him fidget and crack his right index finger uneasily, which was something she also noticed with a smile.

"So, Kaneki…" she purred.

He narrowed his eyes. "How do you know my name?"

"Silly. I'm an informant. It's my job to know such things, especially when you've been causing such a ruckus in the past few months." Kaneki flinched. "Now, what was it that you wanted to know?"

"I would prefer you name your terms first." He cracked his next finger.

"Fine then." She met his gaze with a smirk. "I want to see your eyes transformed. I want to know if they're the real thing."

Kaneki pursed his lips. She would have suspected they were with his questions anyway… "I want to know of a mermaid named Rize, and the circumstances in which she looked after me. If you do not know the answers, then the deal is off. So is it if you lie."

Itori smiled and tapped her lips. "You're in luck. That was quite the bit of juicy gossip a few years ago, so I retained the information well. You have a deal."

Kaneki nodded and waited. Itori sighed.

"I guess I'll go first then. As I'm sure you know, Rize wasn't your mother…" She glanced up at Kaneki, gauging his reaction. Perhaps she found something there, because when she looked back away, she was beaming. "There were many rumor's going around about a close friend of hers. Not much was known about him, as he often disappeared for a number of months at a time. There were many things suspected, but the most outrageous was one story in particular.

She paused and Kaneki knew she was waiting for him to bite. "What story?"

She lowered her voice. "That he was seen climbing up onto shore. What was even more shocking was that they said he suddenly grew legs and began to walk." She observed Kaneki in amusement. "But that's impossible."

Kaneki licked his lips, not realizing how dry they were. He inadvertently got absorbed into Itori's words and struggled to go back to his neutral expression.

"Anyway… this man was your father, or so I've heard." She waved her hand. "I know nothing of your mother. Some people thought it was Rize, but," she tapped her nose. "You smell nothing like her. After your father was killed, Rize took care of you, raised you."

Kaneki pressed his palms together. "Who killed my father?"

Itori smirked. "Sorry, that information was part of our deal."

Kaneki fought back a growl, expression contorting into a glare.

"Now, will you fulfill your part of our bargain?" She appeared to be completely unaffected by Kaneki's slight outburst.

He sighed and willed his eye to turn. Itori clapped, looking like a small child given a present.

"Ah, thank you." As Kaneki turned to leave, Itori grasped his wrist. He twitched and fought the urge to shake her hand off. "Because of your kindness, I will give you some free advice… I would suggest staying away from those peaceful friends of yours. They will only cause you trouble."

Kaneki brushed her arm off. "Thanks," he muttered, even though he wasn't.

He swam away and Tsukiyama followed silently behind him. Smart of him.

Itori said his father was seen going up onto land. Growing legs. If that was true, then wouldn't that mean his father was just like him? And what of his mother? If it wasn't Rize, then who was it?

…

Hide tapped his leg in anticipation. It  _smelt_  good, but he didn't exactly know what the results would be like. It wasn't like Yoriko could taste the food to tell if it was any good. Every attempt Kaneki tried at making anything but coffee ended up in a disaster.

Amon was watching him in amusement. He had Yoriko's cooking before, so he knew it would be good, even if she couldn't try it.

Hide's stomach growled when the plate was placed in front of him. He dug in immediately, despite his worries earlier, and was pleased to find it tasted even better than it smelled. He watched in confusion as Yoriko took a small plate of food to the bathroom with her, after seeing the men's approval.

"What is she doing?" Hide looked to Amon for answers.

He frowned. "It was her dream to become a chef. Even if it doesn't taste any good to her, see can still  _taste_  it. She wants to remember what it is like, on the occasion she wants to make it again."

Hide pursed his lips. He used the opportunity he had while Yoriko was gone. "Amon?" The older man looked up. "You're an investigator… so why are you…?"

Amon scowled. "I hunt and kill monsters. Yoriko is not a monster."

Hide nodded, understanding. There was still something left to ask. "Amon, what if I told you I was interested in becoming an investigator?"

Amon almost choked on his food. " _Why_?"

Hide twidled his thumbs. "Well – I – I." He sighed. "As long as I stay with Kaneki I will be faced with all types of dangerous situations. While, Kaneki  _isn't_  a monster, there are many mermaids who are. I know, I've seen them. And while I've always been interested by mermaids… those ones truly terrify me. I want to know how to be able to defend myself and… kill them." He swallowed. What else could he do? Kaneki was running around, doing all he could to keep Hide safe. How could Hide not do anything at all?

Amon watched Hide thoughtfully. "I could take you on as my apprentice, I have a high enough rank. But," Amon gave him a serious look. "Stay behind me and don't do anything stupid. The job is insanely dangerous. It takes a long time to train yourself to be strong. Don't expect to be able to fight right away."

Hide nodded nervously. "When can I start?"

Amon sighed. "I'll introduce you to the on-land investigation tomorrow. We've gotten a lead on the doctor." Hide jumped at that. "He's been reported to be near here, in the slums. Most likely he's gathering resources and equipment. We will be camped out, waiting for his appearance. It will likely take a while, maybe a week, so be prepared."

Hide kept nodding. It felt like his head was going to fall off if he kept it up.

"Oh, and one more thing." Amon pointed at him. "Don't give it away that you know the doctor at all. I barely told my colleagues anything that went down that night. They think I happened to stumble across the doctor's research when I was visiting him. They don't know about Yoriko, you, or Kaneki. Don't make them suspect something else is going on."

Hide agreed and they continued eating as if nothing transgressed between the two. Yoriko came back a little while later, looking rather ill. Amon said nothing about it, so neither did Hide.

…

Touka wasn't exactly sure when she gained consciousness. It was sometime when her fevered, pained nightmares turned into fevered, pained realities. She thrashed hopelessly on the table as the human cut into her legs – yes, her legs. He was mumbling to himself, lifting skin, slicing muscle and re-damaging it whenever it healed.

"A failure." He muttered. "But still alive…"

She tried all she could to escape the pain. Tears trickled from the corners off her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to contain them. She groaned, allowing sobs to finally burst out of her lungs when the twisted doctor left the room, leaving her still restrained to the table.

She didn't know exactly what he had done to her. She could see her legs, but she could comprehend how she could have any. It was impossible. She was a mermaid.

"Hinami… Hinami? Where are you?" She hoped she was okay. She couldn't bare it if she wasn't. It was a false hope she knew. She heard her screams before Uta came for her. Deep down she knew that Hinami was in the same position she was in.

…

"When will you come back?" Tsukiyama pouted.

Kaneki scowled. "Hopefully never."

Tsukiyama reached for him, a look of horror on his face. "Kaneki!"

Kaneki punched him in the gut. His eyes widened as he curled forward, coughing violently. When he reached again, with tears in his eyes, Kaneki repeated the movement. He sighed as the man fell forward, resting his head on Kaneki's shoulder.

"Please. I beg of you. Don't go. If you go, then I can't…" There would be no way for Tsukiyama to protect him from harm. What would he do if Kaneki got hurt – or worse – died? All of his effort to prepare him - no, all of his time spent with him…

"I'm going and there is no way for you to stop me. I'm sorry." Kaneki planned to keep his voice neutral, but it sounded surprisingly heartfelt to even his ears. Even if it was the gourmet, for the past few months he was the only person he was – dare he say it – friends with.

He pushed Tsukiyama off him without another word, moving towards the shore of the lagoon. It had been a few months since he had transformed back to his human state, but he found it to be surprisingly effortless. He recalled where Hide and he had hid his clothes and went off to find them, casting a short look back at the purple haired man who was still curled up near the shore.


	24. Preparation

The best place to start looking was on land. Perhaps his father left some traces of himself there, or maybe, Kaneki mused, the doctor would know something.

Kaneki decided to start with finding the doctor. He had to know _something_ to have to need to conduct the experiments he did on Kaneki.

Kaneki walked through the slums. The area reminded him of his time with Hide. He clenched his hands at his sides, digging his nails into the palm of his hand, hoping to distract him from his thoughts. The sooner he would finish his job, the sooner he would be able to see Hide.

He knew exactly where to begin his search for the doctor. Hide told him about the Dove and how the doctor ran. If the Doves were after him, like Kaneki thought, then there was no way he could use conventional methods to get his supplies. He most likely was bargaining with some less than desirable people. Lucky for Kaneki, he knew where to find some.

Kaneki waited in the alley by the familiar door. He would have to be careful to not get caught, or things could get complicated. He didn’t need the authorities coming after him.

He grinned with malice when he spotted the bearded man. He hadn’t noticed Kaneki yet. He looked drained, and wasn’t flanked by his usual cronies. After what he had done to Hide, Kaneki couldn’t even try to deny that he would somewhat enjoy what he was about to do next.

He grabbed the man by his long, scraggly hair. He was about to yell, but Kaneki covered his mouth, dragging him further down the dark alley, where no one would bother them. Kaneki slammed the man against the wall so that he was facing him. The man’s eyes were wild with fear. He may have been a leader, but without his followers around, he was just a coward.

“You probably don’t remember me, given my appearance, but let me remind you.” Kaneki grabbed the arm he had broken so long ago, squeezing tightly, but not enough to break it. Yet.

The man’s eyes widened and he tried to struggle, attempting to bite Kaneki’s hand. In response, Kaneki tightened his grip, feeling the man’s bone crack. He muffled his screams.

“You don’t want to do that again.” Kaneki narrowed his eyes, fully aware of the bloodlust that was radiating off of him. He needed to calm down before the situation got out of control. “If you do, you won’t be walking out of here.” Kaneki tightened his hand over the man’s mouth for emphasis. His black nails dug into his cheeks, making bloody rivulets run down the sides of his face.

The man nodded, making affirmative sounds against Kaneki’s palm.

“You understand? Good.” Kaneki smiled cruelly. “You will tell me what I want to know. Everything.” He glared. “Scream and you will suffer.”

He released the man, stepping back and giving him some space. The man breathed heavily for a few seconds before looking up at Kaneki. His eyes shot to the lighter side of the alley. In that moment, Kaneki knew he would try to run. Just as the man shot forward, Kaneki kicked out. His foot hit his kneecap and the man tumbled forward, landing face-first. Kaneki saw him raise his head. Before the man could yell he grabbed his hair again and shoved his face into the ground. His broken nose spewed blood and he aimlessly flailed his limbs, either trying to hit Kaneki or grab onto something.

He stilled when he heard Kaneki’s voice again. “I told you, you would suffer. Stop. It doesn’t have to go any further. Answer my questions and I will let you go. That’s a promise.” He flipped he man over onto his back and placed his foot on his chest as a warning. He could easily crush his ribs if he wanted to.

“W-what…?”

Kaneki allowed his expression to relax. If the man was too afraid, he wouldn’t be able to talk. “I’m looking for someone. A doctor. Goes by the name of Kanou.”

“I – I don’t know him.” The man shook with fear in his eyes, not knowing what Kaneki would do to him if he couldn’t answer.

Kaneki shook his head. “So I had guessed. But, it was worth a try. I was wondering… you must have a lot of connections to… certain people. What I’m looking for is an informant. Someone who knows what goes on in this city like they know the back of their hand. Give me a few names and locations and I’ll leave you alone for now. Does that sound like a good deal?”

The man nodded and rattled off names. Kaneki had to ask him to repeat a few because his voice was so slurred.

…

Hide crouched behind Amon, uneasily flipping the knife Kaneki left behind. As soon as Suzuya noticed it, he sat uncomfortably close to Hide, eyes wide and far too focused on Hide. Amon noticed, but didn’t say anything. Suzuya had some weird habits.

They were positioned in an alleyway, hidden behind a number of trash bins. It smelled awful, but it did its job well. They had limited manpower, and therefore had to spread out. Suzuya had to leave, much to his disappointment, it seemed. He was situated in a different alley. Shinohara was in another. And a woman named Akira, who Amon seemed to fancy if you asked Hide, took one as well. It was a narrow search area, but they would do what they could and hope they were lucky.

That night, they were incredibly unlucky. They weren’t prepared for what was going to happen. Sure, they all had knives – Suzuya had many – and he was the reason Hide and Amon weren’t dead.

Just before midnight, a dark figure walked down Hide’s alley. He noticed the gait immediately. It was him. It was the doctor. Hide nudged Amon in warning, making him perk up. He glanced at Hide in question and they both nodded. He motioned for Hide to stay put and waited for the doctor to get closer before he jumped out.

The moment he reached towards the doctor something jumped out of the shadows, grabbing him from behind. Hide heard Amon yell as teeth tore a chunk straight out of his shoulder. Blood dribbled down his arm, splashing against the cold, hard ground below. Hide gasped in shock as Amon stumbled. In the next movement, he pulled out his knife, slashing for his attacker’s neck, only to have his arm deflected into the nearby wall. Hide heard Amon gasp in pain. His knife dropped to the ground.

Hide scarcely breathed as Amon collapsed to the ground with a sharp blow to the back of his head. As he fell, the attacker turned to face Hide, his face covered by a clown mask. Hide gulped, scrambling back and holding out his knife as a barrier between the two. There was no way he would stand a chance, not when Amon was taken out so effortlessly. He trembled, the attacker strolling forward at a leisurely pace. He easily disarmed Hide, picking him up by the throat.

All of a sudden, the clown grunted, dropping Hide. When he slowly turned, Hide noticed a blade exactly like his sticking out of the man’s back. Suzuya was sitting up on nearest roof, another blade dangling from his hand. He threw it, narrowly missing the clown as he dodged out of the way. Hide jumped as the knife impaled itself into the ground just next to his leg.

Hide curled into a ball, moving behind a garbage bin, hoping to not get hit by any stray knifes. Suzuya’s seemingly wild technique terrified Hide. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Shinohara and Akira rushing down the alley.

The clown glanced between all of them and back at the doctor, who was slowly backing his way out of the alley. After a moments deliberation he darted after him, pulling him along by the wrist in his haste.

Suzuya jumped down from the roof, landing gracefully. He was about to give chase when Shinohara jerked him to a stop, shaking his head. He walked over to Amon and examined his shoulder.

“It wouldn’t do any good to go after them now. That one guy is too powerful.” He looked closer at Amon’s shoulder. “I only know one type of creature that leaves a bite like this… I think this situation is a lot more serious than we initially imagined.”

…

Amon was at the kitchen table, his face pale and leaning against the cool wall to his left. Hide’s gaze fell to his shoulder. Though he now had a shirt covering it, Hide could still vividly remember the torn and bloodied skin. He couldn’t imagine the pain Amon was in, though he seemed to take it in stride.

Amon was glad it was his left shoulder. That way, he could still throw his trident with his right hand, though the pulling on the wound would be bothersome when he moved. He thought it could affect his aim some, but that just meant he would have to get closer to the target, which thankfully was easier on land than in the water. Despite how his colleagues asked him not to, he could – and therefore would – fight. He had to protect the citizens especially now that the threat was not only in the water, but also on land.

Suzuya sat next to Amon, contrasting his dark atmosphere. He was chatting excitedly, swinging about. He seemed to have so much energy, Hide wondered how he was managing to stay in his seat, or how he seemed to be able to balance the chair on two legs without falling back and hitting his head. He was obviously very excited about how things were developing. He was probably the only one. Suzuya was thrilled by the idea of new enemies to fight and new people to challenge and test his skills against. When he got too excited he would fidget and pull out a knife to sharpen, only to be scolded by Amon for doing it at the table.

Though he seemed to not be paying attention to anything other than his own actions, it was quite the opposite. Out of the corner of his eye, he would watch Yoriko, noticing her eyes were far shinier than they were before. Suzuya spent almost his whole life with mermaids, ever since he had been taken when he was young and trained to fight in the cage, to the point where he was rescued by Shinohara and then fought with him. He had always killed mermaids, and he knew them well, especially that unearthly tint to their eyes that someone normal wouldn’t have noticed. He wasn’t normal, and neither was Amon. Also, neither was the blonde who was sitting across from him. The blonde had also been with that other boy, who had the eyes as well, and that couldn’t have been a coincidence.

He smirked knowingly and pulled out another one of his knives, ignoring Amon’s complaints. He caught Hide’s eye and sharpened it slowly, never breaking the gaze. “How did you get your knife?”

Hide jumped and didn’t answer.

“Your friend had it before didn’t he? The one with the silvery eyes.” Suzuya laughed, childlike and mocking, clearly enjoying the sudden discomfort at the table. “So, where did he get it?”

“Suzuya…” Amon warned, the stiffness of his voice not disguising the worry.

Suzuya laughed again, seeming to drop the subject as he turned his attention outside. It was fun to play with them. He already knew where Hide’s friend would have gotten the knife, and also what he was and what Yoriko had become. He didn’t really care all that much, not that he really cared too much about anything. As long as he still got to fight and have his fun, he was content. And all of the latest occurrences offered new and interesting possibilities. Now that, was something to be excited about.

Suzuya hummed to himself, not bothering to be quiet. He pulled out another dull knife and compulsively sharpened it in preparation for what was to come.


	25. Remember Me?

Hide was stuck behind Amon again, bearing his knife, ready to defend himself. Over the past week since the last incident, Amon had taught Hide the basics, leaving Hide with Suzuya as a sparring partner. Amon seemed to trust him not to kill Hide, but Hide wasn’t so sure, especially when the guy’s knives cut so close to his throat. A week felt like a long time when you spent every second of the day you could both training and learning, but it would take a lot more than that. It would take years for Hide to be able to properly fight mermaids and the training he already completed in just a week hardly amounted to anything. Though he knew this, even when he was doing the training, Amon made sure he understood. He didn’t want Hide to get overconfident and get himself killed. Still, as long as Hide stayed with Amon, he was able to participate in the capture of the doctor. Not that he could really _participate_ per say, but more like he could observe.

And so, he observed. People were all over, Hide knew, but he didn’t see anyone. They were all hidden, waiting to ambush the doctor like they had the last time. Hide knew the doctor would be even more cautious than he previously was, which would pose a few difficulties. He knew he shouldn’t worry. There was a lot of people working on this large scale mission and the best of the best was brought in. They couldn’t risk losing the doctor a second time now that they knew he was successful in his experiments. Everyone was prepared properly, brandishing their weapons and dressed in light-weight armor far more commonly used on the sea. He really, _really_ shouldn’t have had anything to worry about. But, that didn’t stop him from worrying. He couldn’t shake the feeling of imminent dread. His intuition was telling him that there was something wrong.

Hide heard a crackling in his ear, a voice coming through his earpiece. “Target spotted. Alley C-4. Moving southbound. Over.” Hide continued listening as another voice started. “Units Alpha and Echo shadow the target. Unit Charlie will retreat to the end of the alley and stay hidden. Unit Bravo cover alley C-3. Unit Delta cover alley C-5. Proceed with the plan. Over.”

Hide and Amon as well as a few unfamiliar faces were a part of Unit Charlie. Amon seemed at ease, and Hide had to guess it was mostly because of the white-haired man giving the orders that stood before them. Hide could sense he was very powerful without even having to be told. He was supposedly the best of the best. The most powerful. The god of death. Shinigami.

Surely with him there, the plan would work?

…

Something was going on, that was for sure. Kaneki was crouched in the darkness, waiting for the horde of Doves to pass by. They thought they were being stealthy, but to his sensitive ears the clicking of their boots and the harsh swishing of material sounded like a freight train. Not to mention the smell. They reeked of sweat, stress, fear and anticipation. It was overpowering.

Were they here for the same reason he was?

He was informed that the doctor was making deals for various chemicals here. Chemicals that he needed often. If he was to be found, then this place would be the best bet. Had the Doves also gotten a hold of that information?

He waited for the crowd to pass before he came out of hiding. If they were here for the same reason then he would have to hurry. He had to get to the doctor first. He couldn’t risk losing after all he had been through.

That was when an explosion rocked the ground, making him wince at the loud sound.

…

Hide yelped at the sudden sound. The rest of the investigators seemed to hold their composure, aside from a few surprised exclamations like his own. He saw Amon grit his teeth and throw a glance at Arima whose expression held no meaning as he contemplated the situation.

Without any warning he began speaking. “Units Bravo and Delta. Hold your positions. Units Alpha and Echo advance forward to the blast site. Unit Charlie will do the same. Over.”

Arima made a hand signal, ordering his team to follow him. Everyone rose and followed his slow, but confident pace.

Hide trailed behind Amon, always watching the shadows like he was trained to do. He paused when he saw something that didn’t belong in the dark. A flash of flowing white, moving on a rooftop quickly. Glancing at the other people in his unit, he knew that no one else had seen it. After a moment’s deliberation, he slowed his pace, falling behind. He diverted himself towards Kaneki.

…

Amon and the rest of the team came across the blast site. The ground was crumbled in, leaving no way to access the entrance of the sewer. The doctor ended up escaping. They must have been expecting them. Who wouldn’t after the last encounter?

“Are there any other entrances nearby?” Arima’s voice broke through the silence. Waiting for an answer, but not asking anyone in particular.

Amon stood straighter and walked up. He had researched the systems in the city after the first incident he had with the doctor. “None that are known of, sir. It’s part of the old system. Many of the entrances have been closed up and their locations were never recorded in any of the city’s files.” He felt stupid for not relaying how the doctor first escaped to his colleagues. If he did, maybe they could have had more people looking into the information on the underground systems of the city. Maybe they could have found more information and they wouldn’t be in the situation they were in now.

Arima pursed his lips, making the first notable expression of the night. “Unit Alpha: start digging.” They could only hope the doctor couldn’t go too far, or that he had left some evidence of his whereabouts behind. “Unit Beta head north. Unit Charlie will go east. Unit Delta: south. Unit Echo: west. Search for another entrance to the sewers. Report if you find anything.”

The teams split up, heading to their destinations. At that moment, Amon looked behind him, noticing Hide was no longer there. His eyes widened in shook. He looked over everyone else in the group, hoping he had missed him. When he looked around his eyes met Arima’s. He nodded to Amon.

Amon immediately stopped and disbanded from the group. He had to find Hide. It was his responsibility to keep him safe.

…

Kaneki listened to the sound of running feet beneath him. They had escaped underground it seemed. He followed the noise as quietly as he could, until he came across a patch of ground. The cobblestone was… off. It was a slightly different colour, far less worn that its surroundings and the placement of the tiles didn’t quite match.

He gingerly crushed one of the stones with his fist, picking away the shards. He set to work, destroying part of the ground until he saw an entrance. It seemed the city did a poor job covering up the sewers. Kaneki pulled the metal bars easily from the ground, as the screws holding them down were horribly rusted. He slipped through the opening with ease, landing on hard ground below. It was dark. But, being a mermaid, he was used to not being able to see all the time.

He ducked when he heard a footstep behind him and felt his opponent’s attack fly over his head. He scowled, dodging the next attacks the best he could, trying to move closer to his attacker. He felt an arm brush past his body and he gripped it by the forearm, bring his other fist down to break it at the elbow. He heard a howl of pain. Next, his elbow found the other person’s solar plexus and then their chin. Next, he grabbed their hair and smashed their face into the wall. He heard a crack, and then no other movement.

Gingerly feeling the wounds on his own body, he focused his hearing, listening to the faint footsteps as the doctor ran away. He chased after him, feeling accomplished when the doctor’s footsteps were getting louder. Good, he was getting closer then. Ahead, he could see a light from a flashlight bobbing in time with his steps. When he finally reached him, Kaneki grabbed the back of his shirt, the familiar stench of him filling his nostrils. He threw him up against the wall, making the flashlight fall from his grip and allowing Kaneki to pick it up.

He held it up to his face with a sadistic grin. “Remember me?”

The doctor gaped in answer. His mouth moving, but not forming any words. He didn’t even try to struggle Kaneki noted dully.

“You will give me the answers I want.” Kaneki cracked his finger, watching the doctor.

…

Hide approached the opening in the ground cautiously. He knew it only could have been done with exceptional strength. But was it Kaneki who pried it open, or was it an enemy? He hesitated, peering into the hole before making his decision. He pulled the flashlight from his belt and flipped it on. He carefully sat on the edge of the hole, looking for a ladder. He was disappointed when he did not find one. He lowered himself down slowly and then dropped. The sound of his feet hitting the floor echoed in the tunnels. Hide held the flashlight in his left hand and pulled out his knife with his right. He examined the area around him, blinking when he saw blood smudged on the nearby floor. There were more droplets on the ground as well.

He bent down, dipping his fingertips into it. It was fresh and ran with a thin viscosity down his fingers. The smell of iron permeated the area. Who had been hurt? He didn’t see a body anywhere…

Something collided with his back, sending him sprawling onto his stomach in the blood. He could feel it soak through his pants. It felt sticky on his skin. He heard a panting breath next to his ear, the breathing was harsh and irregular. He could smell the blood strongly, and he had to wager a guess that the person pinning his was the source.

He tried to slash up with his blade, only to have his arms pinned in an impossibly strong and unmoving grip. That could only mean one thing. The person above him was a mermaid. An injured mermaid. And to heal mermaids had to eat.

Hide struggled but still couldn’t move, even as he heard a gasping breath and felt the mermaid jerk forward to his shoulder, teeth about to sink into his flesh.

Next, he heard a sharp sound, followed by a growl. Blood dripped on the back of Hide’s head and suddenly the weight on him was lifted. Hide scrambled forward, picking his flashlight and knife back up. When he pointed the light at the mermaid, he could see a bloody puncture in its shoulder, mast lifted off its face. Hide saw that its nose was crushed, face swollen. He couldn’t see any recognizable characteristics.

“Are you okay?” A large body stepped in front of him, blocking his view. Amon. He wielded his trident, one of the end spears dripping with blood.

Hide gasped. “Yeah.” He sucked in more breaths, thankful for his life.

Amon faced off with the mermaid. They were both focused on the impending fight, but Hide heard a faint sound come from the tunnel behind him.

It seemed the mermaid heard it as well. He charged at Amon desperately, but was knocked back with some effort.

Hide turned to the sound, trying to distinguish what it was. It took a few seconds, but he heard it. Screaming. It was screaming.

_Kaneki_. Hide shot up, heading towards the sound. His instincts were telling him he was stupid and to wait for Amon, but he _couldn’t._ He ran down the tunnel, leaving Amon to deal with the already half-dead mermaid. Amon would catch up, but Hide couldn’t wait.


	26. The Horror

"How did you find out about me?" Kaneki glared at the doctor.

He swallowed. "Amon told me about seeing a mermaid on land and I was – intrigued by the idea. I didn't think –"

"Didn't think what?" Kaneki interrupted, holding up a finger. "Don't lie to me. You knew about me before that. You've come after us before, but Rize protected me. You had her in your lab. You used her for your sick experiments. You probably have for a long time. Tell me the truth." He grabbed the doctor by his hair roughly.

"There… there was a woman… she was a friend of a friend. She was claiming her sister was marrying a monster. I didn't care too much, but my secretary urged I check it out. So, I did." The doctor stopped talking and Kaneki kneed him in the stomach, making him cough. Once he recovered he started again. "I went to go talk to them. I found them very civilized. However, the husband had very shiny eyes. Other than that they seemed like a happy couple with a child on the way. But, I knew otherwise."

Kaneki scowled. "Then, what happened to my parents?"

"Your mother died during your delivery, the stress was too much. Your father took you, and tried to raise you on land, but that became difficult because of your… nutritional needs. The night he was leaving I decided to try to take you. But, he noticed and I was forced to back off. I thought it was all over, but… I found some allies who were interested in my work when I was dumping bodies into the sea a few months later. They agreed to find you and your father. They did, but they lost you when you were passed off to Rize. They tried to bring me your father, but he struggled too much and they were forced to kill him." The doctor sighed.

Kaneki said, "So, then they kept trying to find me. They did that one time and they took Rize to you while I ran away." The doctor nodded. "Who are these people?"

The doctor hesitated. "An informant named Itori and a man named Uta. There were others in their group, but those were the only two that I ever dealt with."

"Is that all you have to say?" Kaneki shifted his stance.

"Y-yes."

Kaneki smiled kindly. "Thank you for the information, doctor. You have been very compliant." He switched off the flashlight.

…

Hide heard the screams. Suddenly, they were cut off with a gargling sound. He slowed. He was close. Really close. His heard pounded in his chest as he came to the last corner, his palm covering his flashlight. He took a deep breath and turned to the sound, illuminating the scene before him.

He gagged, his one hand dropping the knife and moving to cover his mouth, eyes blown wide. There was blood  _everywhere._  He could see fingers lying on the ground. One, two, three, four… Hide saw something that wasn't a finger and he squinted at the pink muscle. A tongue. So, that was why the screaming stopped. The man was coughing on his own blood. Hide glanced at his face, mouth bloodied, and the upper half of his face also bloodied, eyes empty with blood draining from them. He watched as his lover sharply shoved his fingers in man's ears, destroying his eardrums, making sure he could never hear again.

He took away his sight, his hearing, his ability to talk, his ability to communicate. Like that, he could tell no one anything about his experiments or about Kaneki.

Finally, Kaneki seemed to notice the light on him and he turned, his bloodstained, white hair grown out over his eyes. But it didn't obscure them. Hide could see the coldness in them, and that terrified him. But, he could also see such sadness. That sent a stabbing pain to his heart.

He never wanted anything like this.

He fell to his knees, flashlight dropping and rolling away from his trembling hands.

Kaneki's expression became pained. "Hide… no… no… you can't be here." His red hands reached towards Hide, but almost immediately retracted, fear coming over his face.

"It's okay. It's okay." Hide covered the distance for him, placing his hands on his checks.

They shook horrible, and Kaneki mistook that for fear. "Don't force yourself." His voice sounded flat, dead. "Don't feel obligated." He shook Hide's hands off. "I'm sorry you had to see this." His voice shook at last, lips trembling, the fragile wall he created to hide his emotions slowly breaking.

There were footsteps down the tunnel in the direction Hide came. Amon probably notified the units of the entrance to the sewers. They were on their way, and Kaneki had to get out of there. He noted Hide's uniform. They would help him.

Kaneki turned and ran. He couldn't watch Hide anymore. It could be the last time he ever saw him. He tried to create a place where Hide and he and could live happily, instead he scared Hide away with his methods. He thought that they would, and that was why he planned to hide them from Hide. That didn't work out very well. Now, he lost the person he cared about the most. He was so stupid.

Hide listened to his footsteps as they thundered down the tunnel, choking out a gasp, "Kaneki." He left. Hide felt sick. It wasn't because of the blood or the gore, or even the violence he saw Kaneki commit. It wasn't exactly something he could ignore, but he knew that the person he saw was still the person he knew.

It must have hurt him to do those things. Hide knew he was never a violent person and that he didn't like to hurt others. Was that the reason for the dead look in his eyes? Had he hardened himself and tried to make himself impervious to pain?

Hide reached out. He wanted to call him back, to pull him into a hug and comfort him. But, he was too late. Kaneki was gone, and the only people that were coming back to Hide were the Doves.

When the Doves came they found the small figure of a boy curled up onto the floor, crying and shaking and gasping. Next to him, laid the doctor, still alive, but not moving. His fingers bitten off, his tongue torn out and blood running from crudely made holes in his eyes and ears.

Amon carried him out of the tunnel, since he was clearly not in a state to do so himself. The Doves watched him go sadly, thinking that it was the grotesque scene in front of him that had broken him, and not the pain from accidently chasing away his lover when he needed Hide the most. It was the pain of thinking he would never see him again because of his inability to control and speak his own emotions.

…

Nishio pulled at his bindings. The doctor was late, and the drugs in his system were quickly wearing off. He could feel his strength returning gradually and each time he moved his arms he made more and more success. Finally, with a lot of effort, he broke his arms free.

He didn't know how much time he had before the doctor returned. He broke the rest of the bindings on his body and swung his legs over the side of the table. He placed them down, moving gingerly. He could move them, but not very well. It wasn't like he had time to learn. He had to hurry to the others.

He broke into the room that he knew as Hinami's. She was straining to break free, like he had, but she didn't have the strength of an adult mermaid yet.

She was relieved when she saw him. "W-where is he?" She relaxed as Nishio freed her.

"I don't know. We have to hurry before he comes back. I don't hear him anywhere in the building." She nodded, shuddering. Surely he had also put her through hell. He grasped her hand in his and smiled. "Let's go get Touka and head home."

Hinami nodded and they both slowly moved out of the room, using the wall for support. By then, Nishio was getting used to the feeling and his centre of balance. Hinami seemed a little more awkward. He constantly sniffed the air and listened for any sign of the doctor, being very surprised when he didn't hear anything.

They stumbled into Touka's room. She was on the table, unconscious. When the door banged against the wall, her eyes snapped open, meeting theirs with a fiery glare. When she saw who was in her room, her eyes widened.

"What –?" Nishio went to go help her when he saw her legs. His eyes widened. It seemed her feet were not fully developed. They were too small. It seemed they did not make the successful transition from fin to feet.

"Stop staring and get me the fuck out, would you?" She raised her eyebrows in emphasis.

He nodded and helped her. Hinami was able to walk on her on. Nishio picked Touka up. She wanted to grumble in disapproval, but she knew there was no able to walk on her own. Even when her feet had no weight on them, they throbbed dully. It would have been hell to try to walk on them.

Finally free, they moved through the building. It was strangely empty. They came across a room filled with paper that had various scribbles on it. It must have been the doctor's research. Nishio set Touka down on the nearby chair and left momentarily.

By the time he picked her back up, the room was burning, fire sweeping up towards the ceiling. They escaped the building, not looking back at the inferno that raged behind them.

…

Amon pulled Hide out of the sewers, lightly setting him down on the cold ground. "What happened?"

Hide bit his lip, finally in some control of himself. "Kaneki – he," Hide inhaled quickly.

"He did that to the doctor?" Amon asked seriously, a strange expression coming over his face.

Hide nodded numbly. "He thought – he left…" His breath hitched. "It's all my fault."

Amon stared sadly to the young man. "You can't blame yourself for everything that happens, Hide. You'll only get yourself in trouble." Like he already had. "Hide –"

A voice crackled through the radio. "A suspect is fleeing into the eleventh ward. Requesting back-up. Over."

"Affirmative. In pursuit." Arima voice echoed in Hide's ears. "Description of suspect?"

"Dark hoodie obscuring features." The voice sound strained. "Fuck. He's covered in blood damn it."

Hide shakily made his way to his feet, teeth grinding together. "Kaneki." It had to be him. They were going after him. They were going to kill him or take him. Hide had to help in any way he could. He had to.

The strained voice came through the radio once more. "Suspect is escaping above ground. I've lost visual and am unable to follow. Over."

"Units gather above ground. Amon. Organize a sweep of the eleventh ward. Over." Arima's voice cut out as he continued to Kaneki's last known destination.

"Roger." Amon spoke. He pulled the speaker away from his mouth. "Hide, let's go –  _HEY_!"

It was too late, Hide had already taken off. Amon watched in vain as his figure disappeared around the corner. He couldn't chase after him this time. He had a responsibility he needed to fulfil. He needed to keep the units alive and direct them. He pursed his lips and turned his back on Hide, heading to meet up with the rest of the units.

Hide ran as quickly as he could. He had to find Kaneki before they did. And he would know best where he would most likely be.

Please, don't let him be too late.


	27. Actualization

Kaneki lifted himself out of the hole in the roof of the sewers. There was no way the Dove, with his human strength, could follow. Still, he continued to sprint away, because they would begin searching for him above ground then. He had to get out of the area.

He gritted his teeth and tried to push his mind past Hide. He had been doing it for the past few months, so why was it so hard now? He shook his head, try to clear it, but the image of the blonde looking at him in utter horror kept flooding his vision.

Why did he have to show up in that moment? Why was he with the Doves? He wasn’t supposed to be there. He was supposed to be somewhere safe, where nothing could hurt him. Why was he there? Why? Why? _Why?_

The truth was, he knew. He knew that Hide wanted to protect him just as much as he wanted to protect Hide. _But, there was a difference._ Hide was human. Hide was pure and good and _human_. Kaneki wasn’t human. He was a mermaid. He was strong, and in this world the strong devour the weak. He had learned that.

He wanted to keep Hide from the dark side of his world, but he kept stepping in, despite having been hurt and seeing the horror. Maybe, finally, he would back off. The thought made Kaneki almost kneel in pain, but it also carried a form of relief. If Hide left, he would be safe. Kaneki’s world wasn’t meant for someone as bright and sunny as him.

It was probably better the way it was now. His dream of living peacefully with Hide was meant to be shattered from the very beginning. He was a fool for even trying. Surely, now that Hide had seen the darkness that lived within Kaneki, he would break off any ties. He would lose his feelings for Kaneki, knowing that he was no longer the same person he fell in love with.

Kaneki would never see him again. He would never see his smiles, hear his laughter or feel the warmth of his body as he pulled him tightly into an embrace. Kaneki would never smell his sweet scent as he buried his face into his chest and never taste Hide on his tongue again. There would never be Hide’s hands exploring his body and Kaneki would never again touch the body he knew even better than his own. Kaneki would never again feel the sense of security that he had been longing for his whole life.

He could never be with Hide again.

He could never see the love of his life again.

Finally, he reached an obscure back alley and let himself collapse against a wall. He pulled his knees into his chest, sobbing. He was stupid. He was _so, so stupid_. He ruined everything. In the process of trying to fix something, he ruined everything.

He didn’t hear the footsteps approach him before it was too late.

He looked up, expecting maybe a drunk or a homeless person. Instead, he met cold eyes framed by hair as white as his own. He recognized the look in the man’s eyes. It was a look he had seen often. It was the look of a hunter.

His muscles coiled to spring, kakugan activating.

In that moment half of his vision suddenly went black. He froze, unsure what had just happened. The man was still in the same position as he was before, looking at him with those eyes.

Then, the pain hit him. He gasped in horror and tried to cringe away, but his head was pinned to the wall behind him. With shaky hands he reached towards the spear that was skewered through his left eye.

“Ah… ugh…” His voice trembled. _It was through his head. It was through his_ head. _His brain. His brain. He couldn’t think. Hide… Hide… Hide._ Where was Hide?

The spear was torn away with a sickening sound. He felt the blood run down his face in an eruption. His left hand automatically went to the gaping, black hole.

…

Much to Arima’s surprise, the mermaid lunged at him with a chocked, desperate roar. He was sure it would be down after he impaled its head, but it seemed that one was even more tenacious than the usual. He leaned back from the attack, narrowly avoiding the swipe at his face.

He plunged the spear into the other eye, pinning the mermaid to the wall once again. It chocked again before it stopped struggling completely. It seemed to be subdued for now. He couldn’t risk killing it. The target for their investigation was already killed, most likely by the mermaid in from of him. He needed to interrogate it and find out about the doctor’s work before he disposed of it.

He turned, pulling the spear out. The mermaid fell to the ground. Hopefully, the damage to its brain would repair. It should. Mermaids were supposedly able to heal any wound as long as it wasn’t lethal.

He spoke into his mouthpiece, whipping at the thin trickle of blood running down his cheek. “Target apprehended and subdued. Requesting Unit Charlie for pick up and clean up in alley A-2. Over.”

“Roger.” Amon’s voice came through the radio. “Unit Alpha had reported another masked target fleeing into to twenty-fourth ward. They are requesting back up. One soldier is severely injured, another dead. Over.”

“I’m on my way. Over.” There must have been more waiting above ground that had gotten separated from the doctor. They probably jumped a troop when they were alone, or had strayed from the group. They expected that, and yet someone still drifted too far away from their Unit and got killed because of it.

He glanced back at the motionless body lying on the ground. There was no way he was gaining consciousness or moving anytime soon. Arima had the safety of his subordinates to worry about. He had to go. He turned his back on the figure, rushing to aid Unit Alpha.

…

Hide watched Arima go, restraining himself from springing before the large man rounded the corner. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed him waiting, hidden at the other side of the alley.

He didn’t see exactly what happened. He only got there as Arima was talking into the radio. They planned on keeping Kaneki alive. That gave Hide a sense of hope. Even though he was too late, he could still save Kaneki, and now, he was given the perfect opportunity to do so.

He silently crept down the alley, making his way to the blood covered figure. He knelt down. “Kaneki?” He gave him a slight shake, put got no reaction. “Kaneki?” He touched his cheek, rolling his head so that he could see his face.

 _How was he still alive?_ Hide knew that mermaids had crazy regenerative powers, but this was just insane. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the gaping holes in Kanei’s face that went all the way to the back of his head.

“ _Oh god… Kaneki…_ ” He checked his pulse. It was there, but it was faint. He had to get him out of there.

He picked up his body, carrying him the best he could.

…

When Kaneki gained consciousness he was lying in a comfortable bed. Fresh, crisp air brushed across his face from outside. But, it didn’t feel like he was outside. He could smell various chemical and fabric scents and most dominantly, Hide.

He tried to move and was rewarded with a throbbing pain in his head, making him groan.

That was right. He fought that man. No, he was hopelessly defeated by that man. So, why was he where he was now?

“Kaneki!” Hide’s loud voice filled his ears. He winced at the loud sound, but at the same time a shiver of happiness ran through him. The next moment, he was filled with dread.

“H-Hide… I…” He choked on his words. He felt a hand gently brush his cheek and the weight of a warm body caused the mattress beneath him to shift.

“How do you feel?” He sounded concerned. Hide’s hand trailed up to his face, touching some type of fabric wrapped around his head. Were those bandages?

“…I…” Kaneki struggled to comprehend the situation. He was sure, so sure, that would never see Hide again. Why was he here, treating him as kindly as he always did?

“Not so good, huh?” Hide’s voice was soft, almost like an afterthought to himself. “At least you’re awake. Do you want to sit up?”

“Why are you…?” Kaneki moved with Hide’s help. He felt Hide prop more pillows behind him before scooting him back towards the headboard.

Hide sighed. “You worry too much. I’m so happy to have you back Kaneki. Please, believe me when I say that. I was so worried when you weren’t waking up. I thought Arima might have done something to you that you couldn’t heal. It seems you’re not quite done.” A hand touched the bandages gently.

“Hide, how can you… even after what you saw me do…” Kaneki shook without crying, tears not yet able to fall from his healing eyes.

Hide slowly wrapped his arms around Kaneki, urging him to rest his cheek on his chest, careful to not cause him any more pain. “Because, I love you.”

Kaneki raised his head enough to talk. “But, Hide…”

Hide pressed his lips against Kaneki’s, silencing his next rebuttal. “I love you, and nothing can change that. No matter how many times you leave, I will always be waiting for you to come back.” Hide thought back two nights ago, seeing Kaneki covered in blood. “Everyone has sides of themselves they don’t want to show. You didn’t want to see me the way you were, because you were afraid of what I would think… but, I love you Kaneki. I love you as who you are. The whole person. Not just the cute bits you show me when we’re alone. I love all of you.” Hide didn’t expect any kind of response.

So, he was surprised when he heard Kaneki’s small voice. “I love you too.”

Hide smiled. He traced his hands up and down Kaneki’s back, getting used to the new muscles that had developed while he was away.

“What happened, after I… passed out?” Kaneki’s voice was tense.

Hide hummed. “I hid you at a different location. I also went and retrieved the doctor… it was… the only thing I could think of doing… and you were injured so badly… I’m sorry.”

Kaneki moved his tongue in his mouth, now realizing it carried a faint taste of blood. Hide had fed him. He felt nauseous at the thought of consuming the man that hurt him and Hide so badly and killed Rize. But, out of all the possibilities, it wasn’t the worst. “It’s okay.” When it came down to it, meat was meat. “But…” Horror filled Kaneki. “The doctor wasn’t dead…”

“He was, when I got there the second time. The masked mermaid had a partner. As soon as Unit Alpha turned their backs she killed the doctor.” Hide informed.

Kaneki sighed, relieved Hide didn’t kill anyone in trying to help him. “Then what happened?”

“They followed the mermaid to what they believed was the doctor’s laboratory. When they got there, it was already burnt down. They were unable to retrieve any information on the experiments, nor did they end up catching the mermaid. It seemed she had an escape plan. Anyway, after I hid you, I made my way back to my unit. Amon helped cover for me.”

“Then after everything was over you came back for me?”

“Yeah.”

Kaneki nuzzled further into Hide’s chest, ignoring the sharp pain he felt in his head. “Thank you.”

Hide’s arms tightened. “What do you plan to do… once you’re healed?”

He anxiously awaited Kaneki’s answer, fearing he would once again be leaving him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop! I hit 200 kudos today! Here is the latest chapter, as promised. There should only be three more after this one. :)


	28. Research

Hide floated in the water. He had been on the ship just a few moments ago, but after hearing the sweet sound he dove overboard. It was almost instinctive. The melody drew him in with its soft verses. He couldn’t understand what was being said, but the voice itself seemed to promise bliss.

He swam frantically, trying to reach the music that floated through the air. He kicked his legs, the black water seeming to try to stop every movement of his. He fought to keep his head above the water. Not for air, but so that he could continue to hear the melody.

By the time he reached the rock he was panting, but with his eyes filled with desperation he reached towards the figure making the beautiful sound.

The melody stopped. Hide looked up in surprise at the white haired man on the rock staring at him. Hide smiled and tried to reach for him, touching his cheek.

The man frowned while leaning into Hide’s palm, appearing to be rather confused. After a few seconds the man’s hand took Hide’s, not to hold, but to force him to drop his palm from his cheek.

Hide watched sadly as the man plunged into the water beside him, disappearing. Hide followed. Sinking. Sinking. Gasping for air.

…

Hide woke with a start, taking a few deep breaths. His lips turned downwards as he thought of the dream. He shook his head. It wasn’t the first one he had like that. Ever since Kaneki had told him that he would indeed be leaving again, he had been getting them.

Moonlight filtered in through the thin curtains in front of the window, signalling it was still early into the night. Kaneki’s dark shape was illuminated as an outline.

Hide wrapped his arms around his upright figure. “You’re awake.” He mumbled sleepily.

Kaneki hummed and put his hands over Hide’s. “I haven’t been able to sleep.” He whispered tightly.

Hide nodded. He knew Kaneki was plagued with nightmares almost every night. Hide shifted so he could lay his head in Kaneki’s lap. When he did, he felt something under his head.

“Sorry.” Kaneki’s hands moved under Hide’s head, moving the bandages off his lap.

Hide sat up. “You can see?” He cupped Kaneki’s face between his palms, trying to get a better look. Silver eyes stared back at him.

“Yeah. They feel fine… but, the light irritates them.”

Hide gave a small smile. He was happy Kaneki could see… but that also meant he would be leaving sooner. Hide supposed it would also mean he could potentially come back sooner, but he wanted to spend some time with Kaneki right then.

“It’s good. To see you again.” Kaneki traced Hide’s lips, moving down to his neck and chest, watching the blonde’s reaction.

Kaneki leaned in, initiating the kiss, begging entrance to Hide’s mouth with his tongue. Hide moaned, opening his mouth, melting against Kaneki.

Kaneki gently guided Hide back into the pillows, separating their lips. He sucked on Hide’s throat, biting hard. Hide jerked, gasping. Kaneki followed his neck and brought his hand up to keep his head in place. He licked and nibbled at the spot, making Hide squirm and whimper.

Kaneki ran his fingers up Hide’s shirt, scratching the sensitive skin lightly. Hide responded by tangling a hand in Kaneki’s hair and pressing the other against the small of his back and wrapping his legs around Kaneki’s waist, trying to get closer. He released Kaneki when he lifted his shirt, pushing it up and over his head. Hide hastily brought his hands to Kaneki’s already bare back.

Kaneki smirked, fingers teasing the edge of Hide’s pants. “May I?”

Hide puffed between his heavy breaths, “Yeah.” His pupils were dilated, cheeks flushed red and his bedhead oddly charming. Kaneki smiled and continued to tease him, enjoying his desperation and soft moans as he pleaded for more, straining against Kaneki’s firm grasp which now held his wrists above his head.

“Lube?” Kaneki raised his eyebrows, making a show to glance around the room.

Hide shuddered, struggling to speak. He directed his eyes to the draw beside the bed. “In – ah! Oh, _god_. In the top drawer.”

Kaneki lightly kissed Hide on the cheek, ceasing the movement of his hand momentarily to retrieve the bottle. Kaneki placed it beside them, going back to teasing Hide. His mouth marked him, teeth firmly biting and then tongue soothing the soreness to leave only a tingling, electric feeling.

Hide slid his eyes closed as Kaneki’s hand left him again, wriggling in anticipation as he tried to free himself, wonder why Kaneki was taking so damn _long_ to get to it.

He groaned as Kaneki slid the tip of his finger in. He impatiently tried to push down, but Kaneki’s hand traveled down to his hip, keeping him in place. At least his hands were free to grasp at Kaneki’s hair and body.

Hide bit down on a whimper as Kaneki slid his tongue over the head of his cock. “Fuck. _Kaneki.”_ He heard, or rather felt Kaneki laugh, the vibration making him gasp as Kaneki took him in his mouth.

Kaneki slowly opened Hide up with his fingers in preparation, continuing with his occasional licking and sucking to make Hide whine and beg for more.

Kaneki rolled over, sitting up against the headboard. He quickly pulled Hide on top of him so that he was hovering above his lap. Hide gripped Kaneki’s shoulders, thighs trembling as Kaneki’s hands helped hold him up.

Kaneki’s hands slowly made their way down to his ass, parting him and Hide slowly let him ease him down until he was fully sitting in Kaneki’s lap. Hide took a deep breath, shuddering. He curled his arms around Kaneki’s neck, his palms splayed on his back as he pressed his forehead into Kaneki’s muscular shoulder.

He trembled as Kaneki help lift him up. It was a difficult angle for him to get the proper leverage. He groaned as Kaneki slowly moved him up and down in a slow bouncing motion.

“Ah – H-harder.” Hide whispered as Kaneki nuzzled into his neck softly. “ _Please.”_

He felt a tremor go through Kaneki. “Are you sure?”

“ _Yes – “_ Hide was suddenly flipped back over, the ceiling looming above him. Kaneki lifted his legs, holding his thighs so that Hide’s legs were sticking straight up. Kaneki’s hair tickled Hide’s sensitive skin. Kaneki abruptly thrust into Hide, cutting off any other sensation.

Hide cried out as Kaneki continued to slam into at a rapid pace. He felt a stare on his face and he knew, despite how relentless Kaneki’s thrusts seemed, that Kaneki was making sure he wasn’t hurting him.

Kaneki groaned. He was close to finishing, but it seemed Hide wasn’t close to done yet. He held Hide’s thighs with one arm and reached around to pump him in time with his thrusts.

Kaneki shuddered, reaching his peek. He hardly gave a pause as he pulled out of Hide and pushed his thighs back down to the bed so he could lean over and take Hide’s cock back into his mouth. Hide’s hands came to the top of his head desperately, mouth open as he gasped and groaned.

With Kaneki’s insistent sucking and groping Hide came undone quickly with a choked whimper. He slouched back into the pillows, feeling boneless as Kaneki pulled their chests together, resting his head in Hide’s neck and his hand moving soothingly on Hide’s lower back.

…

Kaneki rolled over, the morning sun burning his eyes. He burrowed his face beneath the blanket, pulling it over his head, and in effect, jostling Hide. He heard a displeased groan as Hide woke up. After a few minutes of grumbling Hide joined Kaneki under the blanket.

“Eyes still hurt?” He traced the dark circle under Kaneki’s squinted eye.

Kaneki nodded, allowing his eyelids to slide closed. He moved closer to Hide, the warmth of his body enticing. Hide brushed Kaneki’s hair back, kissing his forehead.

Hide knew the pain was probably a lot worse than Kaneki was letting on. After his hair turned white Kaneki didn’t react to pain the way a normal person did. If Kaneki was admitting it hurt, it probably really, _really_ did. “You want to hang out under the covers all day?”

Kaneki paused and then shook his head. He had been lying in bed for the past few days. He wanted to get up and move around, even if it was just within the room, despite the pain.

“Okay. Wait here for a while.” Warmth was lost as Hide untangled himself from the blankets. “I have an idea.”

There was some rustling and quite a few curses as Kaneki waited for Hide to finish doing whatever he was doing. After a while Hide returned, grasping Kaneki’s arm. He pulled gently and Kaneki braced himself for pain when he let the blanket fall off of him.

He was surprised when there was none. Well, there was no more than there already was. He examined the room idly. The blanket from the spare bed was draped over the window, blocking out most of the light. Kaneki smiled. It was crudely done, but it worked. “Thank you.”

Hide laughed, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s nothing. Nothing.” He glanced around the hotel. “Coffee?”

“Yes,” Kaneki said eagerly. It had been a while since he had any. He looked forward to experiencing the unique flavour again. Especially if Hide was making it. He walked up behind Hide, curling his arms around his middle.

Hide chuckled. “It’s going to be pretty hard to make it if you keep doing that.”

Kaneki rested his chin on Hide’s shoulder, humming his acknowledgment. He shuffled behind Hide as he moved, refusing to let go. As soon as the coffee was done, Hide turned in Kaneki’s arms so he could face him. He quirked an eyebrow and shoved Kaneki’s cup into his hands.

Instead of backing off, he smiled, folding his arms behind Hide’s head and placing his chin back on Hide’s shoulder, sipping the coffee that way.

Hide pecked Kaneki on the cheek, not questioning his unusual and rather extreme clinginess. He didn’t mind, especially now, knowing that he could leave at any time.

…

A few days later Kaneki and Hide took a trip to the city’s archives. Kaneki let Hide do the talking and well… most of the work honestly. Kaneki could read fine, but he still had trouble with some words.

They sat at a small table in the back of the room, going over newspaper clippings from previous years. The room was musty and far too cold for Kaneki’s liking, but that was fine since it gave him an excuse to cuddle up to Hide.

They were there for a few hours and it was just before closing time in the afternoon when Hide spoke, breaking the calm silence. “I think a found something.” He fingered the aged article, eyes trailing over the text and rising to the pictures at the top of the page. Kaneki leaned over as Hide read. “Young, single father and child missing. Exact time of disappearance unknown, as they were not reported missing until the yearly census was conducted.” Hide pointed to the pictures, stopping on the man Kaneki suspected was his father. Hide smiled gently. “You have the same eyes.” Hide moved his hand over to the picture of Kaneki’s mother. “… passed away earlier in the year due to complications during birth.” She greatly resembled Kaneki, both with their soft and gentle appearances.

“That sounds about right.” Kaneki murmured. “Is there any other information?”

“Hmmm.” Hide scanned the page again. “You have an aunt, it seems. We could look her up. See if she is still in the city?”

Kaneki nodded. “Yeah. She could maybe give us more information.” He didn’t know he had any family left.

…

Kaneki knocked on the door nervously. Hide stood behind him, just off to the side. He rubbed Kaneki’s back comfortingly. “It’ll be fine.”

Kaneki heard footsteps heading towards the door and he braced himself as he heard the lock click. The door swung open, revealing a lady with a scowl that seemed to be permanently engraved on her face.

“What is it? What do you want?” She looked at Hide briefly, seeming to be put off by his awkward grin. When her eyes fell to Kaneki she froze for a few seconds, looking him up and down.

Kaneki cleared his throat. “I’m –“

“I know who you are. The son of that beast and whore sister of mine.” Kaneki’s eyes widened. “You aren’t wanted here. Leave.” Kaneki’s jaw dropped and Hide sputtered behind him.

She started to close the door, but Kaneki wedged his foot between it and the doorframe. She glared at him, eyes darting to his foot. “I just wanted to ask some questions. Then I’ll leave. And I’ll never come back.”

She huffed, glaring back and forth between the two men. “…fine then.” But she kept the door the way it was, seeming to want to crush Kaneki’s foot. “What do you want?”

Kaneki bit his lip. He already confirmed what he suspected: that he had found the correct article, that he had found the key to his past. “My parents lived in a cabin outside the city. I want to know if it is still up, or if anyone moved into it. I also want to know where it is.” His aunt was undoubtedly a human. It wasn’t like he could ask her: ‘Hey. What the hell am I? Why can I go from mermaid to human and back again?’. He would have to search for the answers himself, and that involved digging deeper into his past.

She scowled. “That old shack is run down. _As if_ anyone would want that shithole.” She glowered some more and gave Kaneki the location. “Is that all you want?”

“Yes.” Kaneki removed his foot.

She slammed the door in his face.

Kaneki and Hide backed off the steps. Hide was rubbing his hands together. “Well… that was…” He glanced at Kaneki in worry.

“It’s what it was.” He smiled and pressed his lips to Hide’s jaw. “Let’s go.”

…

The cabin wasn’t nearly as bad as his aunt made it seem. Sure, the windows were broken and it was covered in what Hide called graffiti, but it was far enough away from the city that it kept most people out. Hide and Kaneki entered through the beaten door which let out a horrific creek when opened. Kaneki could smell animals and feces. It seemed the cabin was now home to many rodents and insects that burrowed in the wood.

Hide inspected some of the furniture, wiping at dust. It was a small place, so there wasn’t too much. They were in the living room, which only consisted of a small table and a couch. Off to their right was a kitchen with rusted appliances and a dining table that seemed to be collapsing in on itself. Down the hall in front of them, there was a small bathroom and two small bedrooms. One was empty, the paint peeling off about half of the wall. An unfinished job. The walls and floors were covered in various red symbols. He frowned at them.

Hide sighed. “Let’s go out of this room.” He shook his head. “That kind of stuff has always crept me out.”

“What is it?”

“I’m not quite sure what the symbols mean. I was never interested enough to look them up. Looks like some cult stuff, you know, talking to the dead, summoning ghosts.” Hide shuddered. “Probably done by some of the same people that put graffiti on the outside.”

Kaneki frowned, leaving the bedroom and going into the other. There was a large bed in the middle and off to the corner was a crib. Kaneki picked up the small, mostly destroyed teddy bear. The room was lined with bookcases, though most of them stood empty, books having fallen to the floor and torn apart by animals to make nests. He placed the teddy bear back into the crib hesitantly. In the centre of the floor there was a ragged rug. The corner was lifted slightly, allowing Kaneki to see partially under it.

He lifted the rug, revealing a trap door. Hide crouched down beside Kaneki, inspecting the lock. “Looks like it’s already been broken into.” Kaneki lifted the door, revealing a thick slab of concrete. “Or not.”

“Stay back.” Kaneki kicked at the concrete, watching it crack and eventually fall into pieces. “Flashlight?”

Hide nodded and clicked his on, shining it down the hole and illuminating a steep staircase.

“I’ll go first.” Kaneki slowly made his way down, careful to make sure the steps would hold his weight before he fully put it on them. Hide followed, keeping the light over Kaneki’s shoulder. They reached the bottom, finding a small room made of stone. It was cold and Kaneki shivered.

Hide shined the light in the corners of the room, showing many cobwebs and hard slabs of stone. The room was very tiny, only containing one object, a cement square at the far end of the room. Kaneki walked up to it, inspecting it closely. He pushed the stone cover off of it. The sound of grating rock filled the room.

It crumbled when it fell to the ground. Kaneki reached in, pulling out a single leather-bound notebook. He brushed it off, examining it.

“Is that it?” Hide leaned over, focusing the flashlight on the cover. “I wonder what’s in it.”

“We’re going to find out.” He cast one more look around the room before making his way back up the steps.

He would read the notebook when Hide and he got home.


	29. Free

" _If you are reading this then that means I couldn't be there for you. First of all, I would like to say I am sorry for that. I tried to take care of you the best I could, given our circumstances. I loved you very much. So did your mother, though she was never able to stay around to express that._

_In a few weeks I am planning to leave this place. The place of your birth and the place of your mother's death. If she was still here, I would have remained, but at this time I think it would be safer for you to grow up in the ocean. The humans are getting suspicious and they may come for us soon._

_I'm sorry I couldn't teach you everything you needed to know. If I died, then the chances are Rize looked after you. I am indebted and very thankful. I trust she was a good mother to you._

_Since you are where you are, I am guessing you are looking for who you are. You are probably confused about why you are different. You are probably on land right now, so you have noticed you are not the same as other mermaids._

_As you know, I am same as you. I passed it down to you. Your mother was human._

_Our kind are hated amongst most mermaids. They are jealous we can exist in both worlds. There used to be more like us, but eventually the bloodline started to disappear as we were killed off by both humans and mermaids. There was also the problem of reproduction. It is hard to find love when almost everyone hates you. But, I was lucky enough to find your mother._

_I'm sorry to say I can't give a definite answer as to what we are. I can only pass down to you what I have discovered through study of various legends. Supposedly, all mermaids used to be able to change from human to mermaids. They were believed to be a shape-shifter of sorts. Though, over time from not using the ability, it was slowly lost to most of the population. Very few families, like us, carry it._

_You will experience many difficulties in your life, but I know you can overcome them._

_Live a happy life."_

Kaneki flipped the thick pages, coming to the end of the note. He was hardly into the journal. He hoped for more information, maybe more words from his father, but there wasn't. He flipped another page and gasped. There was a picture of a beautiful, smiling woman, her stomach swollen from pregnancy. Holding her in a loose hug was a man with dark hair and silver eyes and a warm and relaxed grin.

His parents.

He traced the photo with his index finger, moving to the next page, slowly examining the pictures. Most of them were of his mother gazing lovingly to the person taking the picture.

He hastily closed the book before his tears would ruin the pictures. He would continue to look at them later.

"You okay?" Hide ran his hand through Kaneki's hair, looking down at the man's pained expression and bitten lip.

Kaneki nodded, rubbing his eyes harshly with one hand. "I just wish… I could have known them."

Hide pulled him against his side, resting their heads together. It was peaceful.

…

"When will you be back?" Hide tried his best to control his expression, but a little pout still made its way to his lips.

Kaneki leaned forward, taking Hide's lips with his own. When he pulled away there were tears forming in the corners of Hide's eyes. "Not long at all. I promise. Maybe a few hours. A day at most. It hopefully won't take too long. Remember, I'm not alone. Things should go fine."

"I still don't like it." Hide stared at the ground.

Kaneki smiled. "I know. This is the last thing I need to do. I promise."

"Are you two done yet?" Nishio walked up, his hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face. "You are literally going to be apart for just a few hours. Hurry up and kiss goodbye or something!" He stormed off, throwing his hands up in the air.

Hide chuckled. "Okay, I can manage." He kissed Kaneki again. "Please hurry back."

"Always" Kaneki parted from Hide, hurrying to catch up with Nishio.

"About bloody time." Nishio muttered without turning around.

Kaneki laughed nervously. "Sorry."

Kaneki had come across Nishio's scent when he was searching for another one entirely. He was surprised to find Touka, Hinami and him on land. But, at least he now had a partner in his attack. They were now following the scent Kaneki had first been looking for.

Uta. With him, Itori.

They strode down an alley, catching the scent at its strongest at the entrance to an abandoned building. It was probably a factory at one point, but now it laid broken, crumbling and forgotten. Kaneki split from Nishio, heading towards the back of the factory. In thirty seconds Nishio would barge in. Kaneki had to match his time.

He reached the back door. Five… four… three… two… one! He kicked the door in, kakugan activated and body ready to fight. He stalked through the building, the smell of the two still strong. He checked every room he passed, but found every single on empty. With each door he passed he felt more and more uneasy.

"Kaneki!" Nishio came running up, eyebrows drawn in. "Have you found anything?"

Kaneki sighed, brushing his hair back with one hand. "No. It seems they aren't here."

"Then what will we do?" Nishio crossed his arms looking at Kaneki expectantly.

He shook his head. "Nothing. They're probably long gone. After what happened… they've been exposed for who they are. It doesn't surprise me they would run. They have a lot of people who want to get revenge."

"Yeah. No shit." Nishio frowned. "We should do another search of the perimeter."

Kaneki nodded, turning to walk outside with Nishio. They circled the building, finding a trail, but it ended unexpectedly. Kaneki crouched at its end, touching his chin lightly.

"We can't follow it." He said sadly. "They covered their tracks somehow. Maybe they got into a car?"

"Is that it then?" Nishio sounded disappointed and Kaneki knew that he too wanted revenge for what the two had done to him, Touka and Hinami.

Kaneki curled his hand into a fist. "I suppose that would be. I don't see anything we can do…" He punched the nearby wall in anger. "Damn it!"

Nishio growled out a sigh. "…Yeah."

…

Uta smirked, twirling a mask around his finger. "Ah, well. It's too bad."

Itori laughed, crossing her arms and falling back into the sand. "Things didn't go as you expected?"

"I wasn't expecting the human boy to still go after Kaneki. If only he didn't. Then, we could have seen the Doves play with Kaneki. Hmmm… humans are strange creatures," he said thoughtfully.

Itori grinned at him, a lock of her long hair falling into her face as she absently kicked her legs up and down against the ground. "Well, now you have the means to study them."

"Yes. That does offer many new, interesting possibilities."

Itori chuckled heartily. "Do you think he'll enjoy the gift we sent him?"

"Perhaps."

…

Kaneki and Nishio were just leaving when the scent of another person entered the building.

"Please," Nishio muttered. "Tell me that is not who I think it is."

Kaneki glared at the door, hearing the smooth approaching footsteps, a scowl already making its way to his face. "I believe it is."

Sure enough, a flamboyantly dressed man entered the room, sporting a colorful suit. His purple hair was smoothed over to one side and his matching eyes glittered. "Long time, no see, Kaneki! It is a pleasure to be in your presence again."

"Ugh." Nishio feigned a gag. "Tsukiyama."

Tsukiyama completely ignored him, walking past without a second glance, heading straight towards Kaneki. "I missed you so much, mon amour."

Kaneki clenched his teeth, eyebrows drawn together in confusion of his new name. "Huh? What did you say?"

"That I missed you, of course!" Tsukiyama smiled, showing off his straight, white teeth.

Kaneki shook his head with exasperation. "No – I meant – gah, never mind. What are you even doing here?" He gestured to Tsukiyama's newly attainded legs.

"Oh! I'm glad you asked, mon amour. I met with an old friend. He said I had a chance to meet with you again if I took a little something! And here I am!" Tsukiyama waved his arms in a large circle.

Kaneki frowned sadly at him. He noticed now the hesitant, vulnerable look in Tsukiyama's eyes and was struck by the realization of how reliant Tsukiyama was on him. Before he spent the months with him, Tsukiyama had no one he cared about and his only purpose in his life was finding his next meal and having the joy of carefully preparing it. However, in the time he had spent with Kaneki they developed something like a friendship. That was something Tsukiyama probably never had before.

When Tsukiyama took the drug, he without a doubt knew where it had come from. That it was developed from Kaneki and was what caused him a lot of the pain in his life.

"This old friend of yours… was it a man named Uta…?" He spoke carefully, watching Tsukiyama's expression carefully.

"…yes." He said it quietly.

He without a doubt knew, as soon as Uta offered him the drug, that he was the one responsible. Yet, instead of going after the man Kaneki was after, he willing took the drug. Was he that desperate to see Kaneki again?

Also, it wasn't like he could expect Tsukiyama to attack Uta. He couldn't ask him to risk his life for him, though Kaneki was sure, he was willing. Kaneki himself had no idea what Uta was capable of, and oddly enough, he was happy Tsukiyama was okay.

Exactly how much did Kaneki mean to Tsukiyama?

Kaneki sighed, shaking his head, not exactly sure what to say to the man who was looking at him with such a worried expression. "You have no idea where he is now."

"No. I'm… sorry."

Kaneki nodded. "Yeah. I figured you wouldn't. They seem to be long gone."

"Are you angry with me, mon amour?"

"No. I guess I'm not." Kaneki said with a small smile. He walked up to Tsukiyama, patting him lightly on the shoulder as he passed.

There was nothing more he could do. He had no leads on Uta and Itori. He would have to let it go. He expected that he would feel a little more upset, but he felt relief blooming in his chest. He did all he could. Now, he could head back to Hide and continue on with his life. It wouldn't be as safe as Kaneki had hoped, but he could work with that. He would just have to be prepared for anything to happen.

He walked out of the factory, with Nishio trailing on his heels and Tsukiyama following shortly afterward. Maybe he could make it back to the hotel before Hide woke up. He was sure that would please him.

He smiled, thinking of Hide's surprise when he would wake up in the morning with Kaneki beside him.


	30. Epilogue

The cool sea air brushed through Kaneki's hair as he stared into the calm water below. Hide's arm was wrapped tightly around his waist, fingers drumming against his side. He pressed his lips under Kaneki's jaw and then moved his lips up to Kaneki's ear. "He's creeping me out."

"I know. I'm sorry." He really was. He wasn't planning for the troublesome man to follow them onto the boat.

Hide chuckled. "You have a really hard time getting rid of him, don't you?"

Kaneki lowered his head to Hide's shoulder. "Yeah… I'm so sorry. Especially with what you went through with him."

"It's fine. After all, I have you to protect me, don't I?" He said as Kaneki's eyes trailed down to Hide's missing pinkie.

"He won't be touching you again." Kaneki whispered protectively.

"Really? I'm more worried about him laying a hand on you." Hide smirked playfully.

Kaneki raised his eyebrows. "He wouldn't try to hurt me again. He knows what would happen."

"I never said he was going to hurt you." Hide chocked out a laugh, curling around Kaneki and planting a small kiss on his forehead.

Kaneki frowned quizzically. "What do you mean by that?" His eyebrows scrunched together when Hide only laughed harder, dramatically wiping invisible tear from his eyes.

Kaneki simply ignored him, focusing his attention back to the ocean. They were on a boat, heading to the mainland. They decided it was best to leave the city and start new in another place. There was another city they were traveling to, just on the coast. Hide had stayed there for a while, just before heading to the island to search for mermaids. He thought Kaneki would like it.

They would get an apartment there for a while. If they wanted to leave and travel, they could. Hide had a few places he wouldn't mind showing Kaneki.

He heard voices being raised and he focused on Nishio and Touka arguing on the dock. Touka was in a wheel chair, legs not having developed completely, though thankfully, when she transformed back to her mermaid state her fin worked perfectly normal. They probably weren't arguing over anything important. They always ended up bickering over something.

Hinami was leaning against the rail at the side of the ship, standing beside Tsukiyama and smiling as she talked. He appeared to be listening, nodding and interjecting his own words, but every once in a while he would glance towards Kaneki. Hide didn't like the look in his eyes.

Hide kissed Kaneki again before he detangled himself from him. Kaneki shot him a questioning look, but he just grinned, shaking his head. Hide made his way over to Tsukiyama and Hinami, greeting the younger girl.

"Brother!" She had such a sweet smile. Something Hide felt she didn't show to too many people. "Flower Man was telling me that there were a lot of colourful plants on land! Is that true?" Hide raised a single eyebrow at Tsukiyama's given name, but quickly dismissed it when he saw his floral tie and the blue flowers artfully braided into Hinami's hair.

"Yeah." He grinned. "There are all different kinds all over place. If you go to different places, different flowers grow there. Would you like to go visit a flower shop when the ship lands?"

"A flower shop?" Hinami's eyes brightened.

Hide nodded. "You can go there and they have more variety than there is in the wild. Tell you what, I'll buy you some later."

"Will you really, brother?" Her eyes were shining.

"Yes, yes. I will. Now why don't you show Kaneki your new hairstyle? I'm sure he will like it." Hinami turned to go, but Hide called her back. "And – uh – don't tell Kaneki about the flowers. I plan to get him some too. I want to surprise him. Our secret?"

Hinami nodded and walked away, leaving Hide alone with Tsukiyama. Hide regarded the man coldly, his eyes narrowed.

Tsukiyama laughed nervously under the weight of Hide's glare. He certainly wasn't afraid of him. No, but this person was someone who was important to Kaneki, so he would have to treat him with respect. Maybe he should start with an apology?

"Hide, if I'm not mistaken?" He waited for Hide's nod of confirmation anxiously. "I really must express my apologies for our… less than pleasant start."

Hide hummed. "Yeah. I don't think I'll forgive you for that." He shook his head. "Kaneki is a hell of a lot more kind than I am. I don't know how he puts up with you." He saw Tsukiyama wince.

"I wouldn't… do anything to hurt mon amour again…"

Hide sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I know you wouldn't. By the way… Tsukiyama?" Tsukiyama raised his eyes to Hide's.

"Yes?"

"In my life I've traveled quite a bit, and have heard quite a few languages...  _Kaneki est mon amour. Pas le vôtre._ " Hide smirked. "Maybe I should tell Kaneki about the names you call him…"

Tsukiyama's jaw dropped. "No, please don't." He looked at Hide with horror.

"Well, it all depends on you… and how you behave, I suppose. For now, I guess I would keep it quiet."

…

Amon was sitting in Yoriko's kitchen, waiting for his trident to be repaired. Things were a little more difficult now that he didn't know what to expect on land. Anyone that he passed on the street could have been a mermaid. It could be the young, sunny girl he passed on the way to the grocery story, or the freshly tattooed man with the sunglasses on his way to work. Any single one of them could have been a monster.

There were new cases of murders in the city, causing unrest. The truth wasn't revealed to the public yet. They were all oblivious to what was tearing apart people in dark alleyways and making others disappear, never to be seen again. But he knew, and he had to fight.

The rest of his colleagues were still looking for the masked mermaids and Kaneki. He had no idea where the clowns were, but he knew the latter was long gone. Hide had come to briefly visit him and Yoriko, telling him they were leaving the city. He offered for them to come with them, but both Yoriko and he respectfully refused. Yoriko didn't want to leave all that she had made for herself, and both she and Amon wanted to continue in the battle against mermaids.

Amon sipped his coffee and Yoriko finished the final touches on his trident. No matter what happened in the future, he would continue fighting.

…

Suzuya landed lightly on his feet, scythe twinkling in the faint light as it was thrown of his slender shoulders. He laughed in joy at the trembling figure in front of him. There was so much blood.

Black and red eyes glared up at him, sharp teeth snapping repeatedly as the creature continuously lunged at his throat. The mermaid would never get one bite.

Suzuya was just playing. Something like this? It was no match for him. It was hardly any fun at all.

He made another shallow slice into the mermaid's skin.

He was getting bored and he had too much energy to work off.

Or was that anger?

"You're so slow." He called dully, not in his usual light, playful voice. He swung the scythe, decapitating the mermaid. He sighed. He would have to call someone for clean-up.

Shinohara would get angry at him again, especially since he was still trapped in his hospital bed.  _Those damn clowns._  They had almost killed him.

Suzuya remembered how panicked he had felt when he saw Shinohara lying in a pool of his own blood. Suzuya initial didn't understand. It wasn't  _his_  fault Shinohara jumped in before the masked ghoul could kill another of his unit.

He didn't understand why he spent days at his hospital bed, waiting for him to wake up, even when the doctors told him he never would. And he remembered being so unspeakably happy when he opened his eyes that day.

He remembered how warm he felt when Shinohara's wife thanked him with tearing eyes and rushed to her husband's side. He held onto that warm feeling, now, clutching at the shirt covering his chest.

He never really thought of it before, but in a way he considered Shinohara family. He was important to Suzuya. And that feeling was something he was unfamiliar with. He didn't know what to do with it.

He looked up at the moon and it seemed to be laughing at him. The world sure was a lot more complicated than he used to think it was.

…

"You mean this place is ours?" Kaneki looked around the pale room, a smile on his face. It was really nice, and a lot bigger than the hotel he and Hide used to stay at.

Hide laughed. "Yes. We make monthly payments." He watched Kaneki with amusement as he explored the apartment. "We need to buy our own furniture though."

"Yeah." Kaneki walked into the living room, spinning about. Spotting the window, he practically ran over. "We're so high up."

"It's going to be hell to haul all the furniture up the stairs." Hide placed his hands on Kaneki's hips, leaning forward to kiss the back of his neck. "Good thing you're really strong… want to go look at all the other rooms?"

Kaneki nodded, arching his neck to peek into the kitchen. It was a lot bigger and had a lot of appliances that he didn't recognize. Hide guided him down the hallway, pulling Kaneki into the bathroom. He touched the tiles on the walls and admired the large bathtub.

Lastly, they went into the bedroom. For now, all they had was a single mattress that Hide bought on their way to the apartment. Kaneki smiled. Finally, Hide got rid of the two beds and opted for one that he and Kaneki could share.

There was a knock on their front door and they rushed to go open it. Hinami stood there, shuffling her feet and slightly out of breath from running up the stairs. She, Touka and Nishio were sharing an apartment on the ground level floor so that Touka could have access with her wheelchair. Nishio had chosen to do a labour job to pay off the bills. Hide knew Touka was frustrated with her inability to work, but she didn't give up. With Hide's help, she was reading biology and chemistry books, studying and looking for a way to enable her to walk.

Hinami was holding a book up. "S-sorry, but could you tell me what this means?" Hide nodded, pointing at the sentence and reading it to her. "Thank you!"

Hide scowled at the door across the hall that cracked open. "Hinami? Those two are pretty busy right now. If you need help reading you can always come to me as well…" Tsukiyama offered.

Kaneki joined Hide in his scowling. Did the bright man  _really_ have to get the apartment right next to their's? Shaking his head, Kaneki closed the door softly.

"So, are we going to go for furniture today?" Hide asked.

Kaneki shook his head, resting it into the crook of Hide's neck. "No... as long as it's okay with you? It's been a long day and I'd rather go to sleep."

"Yeah, I'm really tired too." He played with the hair at the nape of Kaneki's neck. "We can deal with all the troublesome stuff tomorrow."

Kaneki mumbled his agreement as they went to their bedroom. Kaneki curled up close to Hide, tucking his head under his chin. He listened to Hide's steady, slowing breaths, finding his own breathing automatically synchronized with his.

He could imagine spending the rest of his life like this. He was worried for the future, sure. But, how could he not be? He wanted everything to be as perfect as it was now, though he knew that was a ridiculous wish. They would have their ups and downs, but he was sure, as long as Hide was with him, everything would work out fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends. I really enjoyed writing for you all. It has definitely been my most positive writing experience. These past two months have been really short, but increadibly fun.


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